Balancing School and Family

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To the current or past nursing students with children and/or spouses: How did you manage it? Nursing school and clinicals are very structured and less flexible than other programs. What are your tips and/or keys to doing it?

Thanks ahead for your input!

Specializes in hospice.

It's tough, to be honest. I made sure to tell my boys (six y.o. and four y.o.) before I started about Mommy being in school, and that I wouldn't be around as much. I also told them that even when I was home, I would be doing a lot of homework, so I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with them. I do try my hardest to take a little bit of time each week with them, like taking them out for an ice cream cone. It took them a while to get used to it, but now they've adjusted and can't wait for Mommy to be a "real nurse" (as they call it) so we can go to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate. :chuckle

The one thing that really helps me is that I have a very supportive husband. I have to admit, it took him a while to adjust, too (it took us all a while), but he's a trooper. :redbeathe

You just have to be honest with your family (and yourself) and prepare them in advance for how much things will possibly change. Your house will get messier, dinners will be take-out. Everyone will have to contribute in their own way.

Plus, no matter how impossible it seems, not only do you need to take some time for your family (even if it's only an hour a week just for them), you have to take some time for yourself. I'm not talking about a whole day off, going to the salon (oooh, that's sounds really nice, actually), etc. Even just grabbing an iced coffee or whatever just for yourself on the way to or from class can work wonders.

Specializes in E.R..

I had to sit down and decide what were priorities and what weren't. I have been going to school for a year now, and the thing that I have let go the most is my house. It is not disgustingly dirty, but it isn't clean either:uhoh3:. The previous poster is right, your husband has to be supportive. My husband and I have finally found a decent routine that works, it has to be adjusted a little with every new semester, but we have learned to deal with that. My kids are 18 months and 3 yrs. old, so I didn't have to explain too much to them.

We set aside one day a week that is designated as "family day", no one is allowed to make plans on those days. I try to not study until my kids are winding down for bed.

When I am not at work, school, with my kids, or in bed; I am studying. Pretty much any free time that I have(which isn't much) is spent studying, except for the 15 min. a day I spend on this site. :yeah:.

It is possible, but you have to stay focused, and yes take a little time to yourself. You have to, or you will go crazy!:bugeyes:

I guess I'm pretty lucky. My kids are older than those previously mentioned (9 and almost 15) so they spend alot of time in their rooms doing their own thing anyway. I have a very supportive husband that doesn't act like a baby when I can't spend hours watching tv with him on nights I need to study.

I think the main things that have changed are that my house is a little messier than it used to be and my husband cooks more than he used to do. I still spend a lot of time with my family though. I had to prioritize and to me, studying and spending time with them was more important than a super clean house. I also have my kids call grandma if they are sick and need to leave school early on days I have class.

I think the keys to being successful in school AND still having a nice home life are to be organized and prioritize. Figure out the best way for YOU to study and don't miss class if you can help it. Take time for yourself, your family and your friends, but know when to say no when you have to. I still feel anxious and overwhelmed at the beginning of each semester because they are all a little different, but after a week or two, you will develop a routine that works for you. Keep your goal in mind and don't look back. :D

I think I am more concerned with how NS will change my relationship with my children than I am with the actual nursing program. It's good to hear I am not alone in this.

to be honest, i learned to prioritize, and that i couldnt do everything...for example, i couldnt work as much as i wanted to so i would be a little broke for a while, i couldnt hang out with friends as much as i once had, so i lost a few friends who couldnt stick it out, and i also learned that i didnt have read every chapter in its entirety, see every video, and perform every task in full that was assigned to me by my instructors. I dont take short cuts, but i just learned how to minimize my work load by doing what was most important first, and then if i had time doing the supplemental things. unfortunately there arnt 50 hours in a day....sometimes instructors assign you so much stuff, it seems impossible to do it all.....the key is u dont have to.:D

I don't know how I will be able to manage it. I need to come up with a plan and I am talking about fast. I need everyone's help with this one. Hubby is a truck driver and he is only home on the weekends, which will be a huge help. Perfect timing. My son will be starting 1st grade Aug. 18th, the day before I start lpn school. Daughter is in preschool as well. I need to be able to manage dinner, ironing, laundry, baths and bed time. HOW??????

LOL, my first suggestion would be to ditch the ironing... (except for school uniforms of course) :D

It may seem really hard, but it can be done. I relocated to a new area 3 yrs after a separation from my husband. I started doing my BSN and will be a junior in the fall, hoping to graduate in May 2010. It has'nt been easy. I have no family members here and try to limit my babysitter to just whenever is really necessary. I work part-time whenever the kids are in school and have tried to do most of my classes during their school hours too.

Otherwise they go with me wherever I go. I try things like going to the park on weekends with a picnic lunch and my laptop. This way I can keep an eye on them and still get some studying or research done. The library works well too. As for dinners I try cooking three meats on the weekends and freezing them, and do separate ziplock bags of veggies that I can pop in the microwave. Mac and cheese is easy, and a rice cooker does wonder as you don't have to watch it. Otherwise there are ziplock bags of veggies and a dip for snack whenever they get in from school. they are 7,9, and 10. I try to get them to chip in on chores, and allott at least an hour each evening to help with homework. The older ones also help the younger ones with school work. I don't know if you have family members around, but if you do don't be afraid to ask for help, and make the most of the time when your husband is home on the weekends. You can get a lot of preparation done for the coming week while he spends some quality time with the kids. Good Luck!

I haven't started NS yet but have been going full time for my pre reqs. My kids are 6,7,8 and 16. The 16 year old is no help with daycare or anything as she has her own job.

What has really worked for me is to have very set times that I do things. If I am with my family, I dont even think about school as I know there is a definite time that I will get back to my work. I dont feel bad for my family as there will be a definite time that they have my undivided attention. That works for me.

I really focus my time during the day so that I can drop everything when they get home. We hang out, read books, work on their homework, etc. until dinner. We all eat together at the table as eating in front of the TV does not equal quality time in our house. I am with them until they go to bed.

I have to admit that DH is the one who really puts things on hold. He is older and more mature than my children, most of the time, and realizes that this is just a small step in our overall lives. I hang out with him at dinner and on weekends. My kids only get one stay up late night during the weekend and DH and I spend the other one together. It works for us. :wink2:

Specializes in hospice.
LOL, my first suggestion would be to ditch the ironing... (except for school uniforms of course) :D

:chuckle That made me laugh...and a little sad, since I have to iron all of my uniforms today!

I also forgot to add this bit of advice (although someone else has probably already beat me to it) -

Keep your eyes on the prize. I have a friend who's been a nurse for over six years now, and she keeps telling me, "Classes are hard, some instructors are intimidating, and you will miss your family. But it really will all be worth it in the end, no matter how tough it seems at the time."

My boys deserve the life that my nursing career will (hopefully) provide. And I have to say, it's so awesome when a pt tells you, "I can tell that you are going to be a great nurse, because you really care about what you are doing. I've been around enough nurses and hospitals to know the difference." :heartbeat

I'm very concerned about how NS will change my relationships with family as well as with friends and my boyfriend. NS is tough and I have to balance that, family/friends/bf, a possible job at my school's library (I get paid to mostly study and maybe answer like 1 or 2 questions!!! :D) aaaand being in a sorority. I'm thinking the sorority has got to go... :lol2:

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