Balancing nursing school and family

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Sep 29, 2015

My first question is, Do you have a good support system in place to help you? How young are your kids? Are the loans you are having to take out large? Think of your education as an investment in yourself. Is this a good investment that you will get a good return on?

If your children are very young, it's going to be difficult. And that mom guilt is going to creep in. My son is 9 and last semester it was hard at times. For the first time in his life, he spent more time with his dad than me. That was hard. Plus, time he did get to spend with me, I was studying. I tried to make up for it over the summer since I didn't have class. It was a crappy summer in my area but we did take advantage of every sunny and warm day we had together.

My son is also old enough to get things for himself and do his own homework most of the time. He also knows how to give me some quiet time when I have assignments due or have to study. I started school doing my prereqs when he was 7 and in second grade. I went to school while he was in school. If I am ever late, I have a friend who can help me out with that. My ex-husband helps with getting to and from the bus on days that I can't. My boyfriend also helps me out too. I have a large support system in place that has been a huge help to me.

I go to a community college that is inexpensive and I will graduate with no debt. My ex-husband was having to pay for my degree as per the terms of our divorce, but this year I filed my taxes on my own for the first time and got my education paid for with Pell Grants. So, I'm saving the extra money my ex doesn't have to pay for my BSN down the road. I'm hoping to have that debt free also. My school is also highly respected for producing wonderful nurses.

Making good emotional and financial decisions is important. If you are not emotionally prepared, you will fail. If you are not financially prepared, you will also fail. Kids are super expensive and believe me, stuff comes up all of the time unexpectedly. Last fall during my first semester, a water pipe burst in my basement which led to me having to have a whole basement remodel. The carpet was ruined and so were the walls as they got mold. I had the walls ripped out and they found termites. The termites also ate the ties that held up a brick wall to my fireplace. I had no idea that wall could have killed me or my son. When they ripped out the walls the ceiling collapsed from the old electric ceiling cable heat. It was not in use for the entire time I had lived here and I guess the way things were built back then, they used nails that gradually fell out. Looking back, was a blessing in disguise because we could have been killed. Insurance covered a portion of the repairs. But I had to pay about $6k out of pocket. I still have to remodel the bathroom down in the basement which will be done this spring.

This past spring, the dishwasher went bad. My son also had some unexpected medical bills. Then I had some over the summer. This past week, I discovered my dog was infested with fleas and ticks. The fleas came into my house also. So far, to get him taken care of and to do get them out of my house, it's cost me over $500. Today the pest company is coming out to tell me how much it is going to cost to eradicate them out of my yard so he doesn't get them again. Probably somewhere around $2k. Expenses come up all of the time, so just make sure you plan for it since you will not be working. I don't work either and having to constantly have to dip into savings and my divorce settlement is frustrating.

When you start school, make sure you set aside time each day for your kids. Talk to them and tell them how much you love them. Don't let them feel like they are missing out on mommy time. Sometimes, the books will just have to be put away. Make sure you maintain the other relationships in your life. My boyfriend is extremely supportive, but I also make time for him. He knows some times it's just not possible for me to make the drive so he may come up here if he can. We see each other 3-4 nights a week and he lives an hour away. When I go to his house, I always take my laptop and I may do some work for about an hour and then I put everything away.

It's all about balance. Since fall of 2013, I have never missed a school function, or a practice, game, or competition. I may be studying in the dojo, or on a trip that we go on so he can compete in martial arts tournaments. He also does basketball and wrestling. It's hard, but I plan, plan, plan.