Bad Writng from Student Essays

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

Clear Metaphors from Student Essays:

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either,

but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had it's two other sides gently compressed by train doors.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances

like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a

bowling ball wouldn't.

Murphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag

filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when

you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin

sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was

the East River.

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,

only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike

Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not

eating for a while.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can

tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog

makes just before it throws up.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender

leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated

because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around

with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard

bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was

room-temperature Canadian beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple

it to the wall.

[Shamrock, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by gwenith

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog

makes just before it throws up.

:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

[rebel_red]

Gwenith,

Are these from the Bullwer Lytton contest? They seem so familiar. I love that series of books based on the contest. Totally hysterical.

Thanks for the laugh

Tres

[nurse-in-boots]

Almost pee'd my pants. Thank you. Gatta go.

[sanakruz, ADN]

Have seen these before but still funnier than an episode of cops when the perp gets away and an officer trips over a chained up pitbull.

[KidsLuvMe]

Of all the humor posts I've read today, this one made me pee my pants the most :roll

It's like walking into a restaraunt and forgetting to open the glass door humor. I love it

[ShelleyERgirl, LPN]

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

:chuckle How poetic! Someone is missing their calling writing for Hallmark.

[tattooednursie, LVN]

LOL

Thats as funny as a chorus of barnyard noises made by LTC residents at 2am. lol

[KIWIRN]

awsome, loved these.

minds are only limited by imaginations.

[goats'r'us, ASN, RN]

i'd read those before but i'd been looking everywhere for them! you were missing a few though. I'll have to see if i can find my version and put it on here

[funnygirl_rn]

Funny! :roll

[nowplayingEDRN]

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when

you fry them in hot grease.

Has someone actually tired this???? :eek:

Hehehehehehehe!