Bad Parenting equals difficult patient

[2ndcareerchange]

What I am finding out more and more is making sure there are clear boundaries. My patient is clearly a product of bad to zero parenting. He reminds me of that episode of Twilight Zone where the kid has the whole house of adults walking on eggs shells, and if you get the child upset he makes you disappear. My first night my patient 13yr wanted to call his father (in the home) at 3am in the morning. After speaking to him, the patient hands me the phone and the father tells me not to let the patient call him this early in the morning because he needs his sleep for work the next day. (WHAT?) This is after telling the patient he can call father "anytime". I didnt answer then as it was in front of the patient, but the next morning I privately told the father that situation is a parenting issue, not a nursing one. I will not be involved with how many times "patient" calls you.

My patient is AOx3, has MD, highly intelligent, and extremely lazy. He has a gtube running, so I propped him up on a tv pillow turned backward for a 30 degree angle, (he was flat), "patient" complained to his parents, and I "educated" the parents on positioning for a gtube, and Of course I got, well nurse soso didnt do that, (yeah, she need the hours and didnt want to be banished!) I requested a hospital bed and one was sent out 1 week later. Actually they recieved a lot of stuff, new bed, pulse ox, air mattress, bed rail, rail padding and new gtube machine. The mom thought it was christmas, she didnt understand how the insurance company magically knew their needs. (really?) Can we say documentation? This patient coughs in his parents faces, will not turn on his own, has them adjust his pillow (pull it down closer to him) All things he does for me now. Now they want me to discipline him. NOPE not this nurse. They only keep nurses for about 6 months. They wonder why? If patient doesnt like you he says oh, I think she breathes to loud and I cant sleep and poof gone. (This REALLY happened, the parents told me maybe she was a smoker, but her breathing kept "patient" awake at night.) My super is really surprised I am still here. I am not mean, just firm. I updated all weighted meds dosages with drs orders, the parents didnt want to give meds... patient is 150lbs, he was getting meds for a child under 80 lbs. But patient didnt want to take that much... what?? I explained they need to parent, not be his friend. I have no idea why I have not been banished, but is this how it is out there?

Sorry for the lenght but REALLY needed to vent. I keep stopping, tonite I am teaching him how to blow his nose.... I cant make this stuff up... if I need to suction, I wlll but he just needed to blow his nose. He is 13! and has full rom He told me his parents use the bulb (the one for infants) so I got it and we compared, he picked blowing his nose, better results. LOL

[brillohead, ADN, RN]

I have a SIL who believes that telling a child "no" will damage their self-esteem.

Is it any big surprise that she raised four boys who all had problems with drugs, alcohol and the law?

[CloudySue]

When I'm chatting w my A&O college student client, I often tell her about some of the more crazy/outrageous, etc. things I see discussed on this site. She was floored by the anecdotes of clients behaving poorly with no discipline from parents. Her mom drilled it into her from the time she was very little that since she would always be in a chair and dependent on others, it was absolutely necessary that she say please and thank you for everything, and give a big thank you at the end of the shift. Her mother never let her get away with anything. This girl is such a pleasure to work for, and she's loved by everyone at the agency. Some people just know the secret: be kind and appreciative, and your nurses will do anything for you. Be jerks, and they'll run.

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

When I'm chatting w my A&O college student client I often tell her about some of the more crazy/outrageous, etc. things I see discussed on this site. She was floored by the anecdotes of clients behaving poorly with no discipline from parents. Her mom drilled it into her from the time she was very little that since she would always be in a chair and dependent on others, it was absolutely necessary that she say please and thank you for everything, and give a big thank you at the end of the shift. Her mother never let her get away with anything. This girl is such a pleasure to work for, and she's loved by everyone at the agency. Some people just know the secret: be kind and appreciative, and your nurses will do anything for you. Be jerks, and they'll run.[/quote']

That sounds so nice. Good on the mom, and the patient sounds lovely:)

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

[SDALPN]

Some people just know the secret: be kind and appreciative, and your nurses will do anything for you. Be jerks, and they'll run.

That's the key right there....

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I worked one case, I should've ran when the off going night nurse told me the patient was a handful, I but I didn't. The patient was 6 years old, A&Ox3, incredibly active, had a gtube & trach (vent used while asleep). From the first shift on I could tell the patient would be more than a "handful" - more like a pima. The straw that broke the camels' back was when the patient gave me a black eye & locked me out of the house all in one day. But I could tell why he acted out, he had no boundaries & was never told no. The parent was a young, single mom with other rambunctious kids. I remember when she would come home from work & then go back out leaving the patient & I at home. I think the patient called the mother by her first name, not mom. It was a wreck of a case, everyone let this patient do whatever the patient wanted. I was told to be firm with the patient, but then I realized 'firm' meant parenting. Uh, no. I'm not his mother. So I left the case.