Bad at conversation

[Sudi93]

I'm a nursing student who'll be finishing second year this summer. Throughout my school, I've been unsure if this is what I really want. I'm not good at making conversations or talking for that matter. It's a problem that I've had in lots of aspects in my life but really became obvious when I became a nursing student.

I hate group work because I'm not good at communicating with my group and I hate when they constantly talk about their personal life. Which I'm rarely interested in.

I'm at a placement now where the nurses visits elderly at home and care for them there. We just have to follow the nurses around, observe what they do and reflect upon what we experience in the different homes.

My clinical supervisor have pointed our that I'm a very quiet girl. She wants me to put words on what I think, see, hear and smell at the different visits. She wants me to learn to communicate better with the patients like small talk with them, ask them about their life to build a relation with them. I understand why I have to do that but I really struggle with it. It's hard for me to communicate with people I don't know. I don't know what to do. I think I'm unfit for nursing because communication is a core.

Is there anyone else who struggle with the same problems?

And sorry for my English. It's not my first language

[Kuriin, BSN, RN]

Many people have this issue. I would recommend volunteering or finding work in a spot where you are required to communicate. I volunteered at a clinic for STI and counseling and learned how to counsel and small talk there. Definitely helped me in my nursing schooling.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

There are a lot of threads here on AN about the suitability of nursing as a career for introverts. Do a search and you'll get a lot of great information.

Talking to patients, particularly elderly ones, is not difficult. Ask simple questions about their lives and then just sit back and listen. It's the listening that's so important. Nursing is all about helping our patients' deal with their REACTION (physical, emotional & spiritual) to illness. What better way to discover this than by listening? Half of "communication" is about listening.

[ninathechihuahua]

Communication is very important. It's important to care about other people's lives, the social aspect of your patients health is very pertinent to their care.

First, you can ask about what brought them into the hospital (if you are rotating in the hospital, or when you do). You will get an idea of their A&Orientation, also get a background of what happened.

Next: tell them shift expectations. how long you have been a student if you want. don't make it about you unless they ask. And if they do, sound enthusiastic. Ask them if they take pills whole, what their preferences are (comfort measures stuff like that, are they having pain?). Then do head to toe assessment. Ask questions about things. (where did you get that bruise?) Sound like you are concerned about their health, and be curious. Talk about their medications.

Ask where they are from, who they live with, who takes care of them (so what if you don't care about this stuff?) this is important because you as a nurse need to know if they're from home, a nursing home, or skilled NF or wherever. Who do they live with or who takes care of them? do they have social support to help them with their ADL's, meds, check up on them? Is there some one to contact in the event of an urgent matter. This is important to know because it pertains to the patient's compliance and safety and overall emotional well being. These are good things to know

IF they didn't have social support, maybe they are depressed. Could have something to do with their admitting dx (broken heart syndrome). If they didn't have a care taker, on discharge, what arrangements will need to be made on discharge? Also asking these questions and hearing their answers will tell you about their alertness and orientation...are they answering appropriately? (good to know why? mental status changes, or something to at least report to the doctor or oncoming RN).

In the nursing home: When did you move into the nursing home? Do you like it here? what activities do you like here the most? "(I would think nursing homes have activities set up) What brought you here? (maybe you don't have to ask that second one). Does anyone visit you? (try looking at H&P or MR to see if they have anyone because if there's no social support, maybe that will be a sensitive subject if they don't have relatives or friends who visit, that's pretty sad).

Ask what they used to do for a living?

..of course you will want to look this stuff up before asking. Maybe they never did anything and have been on disability their entire lives. If you know a few things about them, like what they used to do, ask about what it was like. If they used to be an RN, that's a big thing to talk about (what type of nurse, what shifts, what was it like as a new nurse).

ETc. etc.

[Leonardsmom,LPN]

You mentioned that English is not your first language, how do you feel conversing in English. Is it something that you are comfortable with and confident in communicating in this language, or do you have any reservations. Without being able to talk with you face to face online it is hard to assess how comfortable you are able to converse in English. If this is something that you find to still be difficult to do, or have reservations about one of the things I would suggest is seeing if your school or community has an English conversation group for English as a second language where you could spend some time practicing those skills and being able to build more confidence.

Also wanted to mention in your post you expressed yourself in English very well, and without the comment that English was not your first language would probably never had picked up on the fact.

[BBboy]

Conversation as a student nurse is something you'll develop overtime. I was able to develop mine when I first started as a CNA and It was quite evident who was comfortable speaking with patients and residents during clinicals (those without experience weren't as comfortable). Typically, I just try to keep my conversations lighthearted, learn more about them and their interests, family, talk about their day, food, etc. I find that when I do have to go into student nurse mode and validate my findings with what I've read or had questions about from their chart my speaking needs to be a little more regimented and less casual but that comes with practice and the transition of roles. But you'll get better over time

[Katie71275]

You develop it eventually. I despise small talk and yet I do it because it's expected. Ask your parents about their day, how they are feeling. Are there any problems they feel they need to be addressed? When you introduce yourself, introduce yourself to the entire room and visitors. Find out who the people there are. Tell them a little about yourself. Starting there opens up a lot of other topics.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

I second the PP who said that if you had not mentioned English is not your first language, I wouldn't have thought it.

It does raise a possibility. Are you from a culture where it is felt to be impolite to ask personal questions of strangers, especially elders? A lifetime of cultural training could be at the root of the problem.

If this is the case, talking to other nurses from the same culture could help.

Americans usually don't need much of a push to start talking about themselves, lol. Sometimes just a simple "How are you feeling today?" will get you their entire life story.

"Small talk" is something we do all the time, but we're used to it. It can break the ice and allow you to get to the really important stuff. However, it doesn't always come naturally, even to Americans. When I was in my 20s it was much more difficult for me than it is now that I'm 60.