assertiveness/confidence?

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2009

I used to be totally lacking in confidence, but gradually learned that no one is going to bite me. If you fake confidence, then people take you more seriously. Getting older has helped as well.

NursEMT-P · Apr 8, 2009

I have a major problem with shyness and not having much confidence but I know that it is something I have to work on and I think being willing to work on it and gain skills is the first step. I think whoever said fake it til you make it is completly right, Just keep pushing yourself out of your comfort level and you will eventually be comfortable with it. I also think alot of it just comes with age and experience. Good Luck:)

systoly · Apr 8, 2009

how do you nurses do that? what would you recommend for a student that is somewhat shy when meeting new people? my professor things i'm too unassertive and quiet and meek. please help!

How do you feel about yourself? Do you wish to become less shy from your own heart's desire or do you feel you need to change, because someone else says so? I know people who would benefit greatly from an ounce of shyness and meekness. I don't see it as a negative, but rather as the opposite of being proud, loud and obnoxious.

systoly · Apr 8, 2009

I have a major problem with shyness and not having much confidence but I know that it is something I have to work on and I think being willing to work on it and gain skills is the first step. I think whoever said fake it til you make it is completly right, Just keep pushing yourself out of your comfort level and you will eventually be comfortable with it. I also think alot of it just comes with age and experience. Good Luck:)

I know these posts are well intended, but I cannot say how much I disagree with this. Do you really want to wear a mask? Do you want people to see a ficticious character when they look at you? Who will you see when you look in the mirror? Are you unhappy with yourself? If so, that is what requires change.

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Apr 8, 2009

I know these posts are well intended, but I cannot say how much I disagree with this. Do you really want to wear a mask? Do you want people to see a ficticious character when they look at you? Who will you see when you look in the mirror? Are you unhappy with yourself? If so, that is what requires change.

Well, speaking as someone who IS shy, quiet, and meek, I have to say that it's HARD! I would love to develop more confidence, not because I'm unhappy with myself, but because my life would be so much easier if I wasn't constantly quaking in my boots over things that don't faze other people in the slightest. If "wearing a mask" will help me overcome that obstacle then so be it. If I can develop more confidence that doesn't mean my personality is going to go away. It just means I'll be able to relax more easily.

systoly · Apr 8, 2009

fuzzywuzzy, you are well on your way. You have identified an area that you would like to change and you have identified what needs to be done - develop more confidence. Now, how a person goes about it depends on the individual situation. Are they shy in general or only in unfamiliar surroundings, etc. I maintain, faking it isn't going to help at all. Others might see you as a different person, but how is it going to take away the "quaking in my boots"?

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2009

I'm a shy person, and faking it works very well for me. I took the idea from the practice of mindfulness meditation. In mindfulness meditation, when you put a half smile on your face, regardless of whether you "feel like" smiling, the feeling of feeling like smiling follows. It's the same with confidence and many other internal states.

I have to admit, I am far more confident and outgoing than I used to be, and when I find myself in a new situation where my confidence may be lacking, I simply revert to the practice of inhaling and exhaling deeply, relaxing my shoulders, placing a calm half smile on my face, and walking through that door. It gets me through, so I wouldn't poo poo it.