I graduated in May and started my first job as an RN in July on a busy surgical floor at a local hospital minutes from my home. It was a perfect set up. The nurses I worked with were awesome, the supervisors were supportive and helpful, and as mentioned before, it was minutes from my house. The problem was I was about to be off orientation and I was terrified! I am definitely not cut out to be a floor nurse. The thought of taking care of 5-8 patients all by myself scared me to death!! I felt overwhelmed and worried that I was going to miss something when I no longer had my preceptor to catch me when I fall. The type of fear I was feeling wasn't normal new grad fear. It was clearly my personality and I can't change that. Anyone who has been a floor nurse should know what I mean. You either can do it or you can't. And it's not safe to "wing it." I recognized this was not where I belong as a nurse. I was always running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. So, needless to say, I decided to leave my job. Now I am unemployed and truly worried I have wasted the past 4 years of my life going to school for a career that I am not going to be able to do. My husband and parents think I'm a failure. I'm beginning to believe it also.
I love patient care and would work a lot better in an environment where I could spend more one-on-one time with my patient, but where are jobs like that when you don't have experience? And now I'm worried it will look bad that I quit a job after 3 months, but I truly felt like something bad was going to happen if I didn't get out now. I have applied at 2 dialysis centers, ECT, and considering correctional nursing. But again, all of those positions state experience required. I applied anyway, but not feeling too confident.
If anyone has any sound advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
When I started nursing, twenty years ago, I was in a similar boat. On an Onc/med floor, with a great preceptor and supportive staff. It was the ideal situation for me to grow, "team nursing" with eight patients per RN and CNA. I stayed for five years. The first year or two were incredibly nerve racking. I worried constantly, I could not go to sleep at night because I would worry I had done something wrong or forgotten something. I would call the floor sometimes after I left to make sure I had not forgotten something. I heard pumps and call bells in my sleep. I asked questions constantly. I dragged my co workers over to look at something, to check something. Even the first death I had.....I could not be sure he was dead! I called another staff nurse in to check him and she took one look and said, "Oh yeah, he's dead." I made mistakes. Nothing life threatening, no med errors, but I made poor choices at times based on my lack of clinical experience. But I got better.
By the third year I was orienting new grads. I started teaching chemo classes. By the fourth year I got my OCN. I sat on multiple committees and taught new systems to my fellow co workers. I gained a reputation for being exceptional with palliative care for patients and families. By the end of my fifth year the floor had gone through many changes and a severe staffing shortage pushed me out. I was tired of travelers and registry making twice what I was making while I did their chemo and took care of the issues related to an Oncology floor that they were not trained in, as well as taking the most acute cancer patients as my own.
I switched to home care. I had a couple of weeks orientation and was then out on my own. Boy I was grateful for those five years of seeing all kinds of patients and learning from all kinds of professionals, RT, PT, MDs, RNs. In the hospital I had back up. In the home I had me. The first open I had was having a massive stroke when I entered her home and was confused and refusing to go to the ER. I did not know for sure she was having a stroke but I knew for sure she needed to go to the hospital. Despite her protests I called an ambulance who also expressed reluctance to take her and started arguing with me. I managed to use a complaint of chest pain she had mentioned in her confusion to basically force them to take her. The ER doc called my boss later that day and said she would have died had I not known to push for that transport, and being in a hospital for five years taught me my instincts, taught me to believe in them, and taught me to not be afraid to push.
Those instincts of mine saved many lives over the past fifteen years. I am not bragging, that is true for any good home care nurse, you will save lives with your decisions and often they are your decisions alone. Home Care is easier in many ways than being in the hospital, but you need to know what you are doing, and need excellent time management just as in the hospital. I feel the same about Hospice. There is an art to bringing a"good death", emotionally and physically to the patient and the family, and palliative care in the hospital is the best place to learn about that.
IMO, the reality of the first years of nursing in acute care is that they suck majorily. You will be nervous, anxious, sleepless, and miserable. The only thing that makes them bearable is having good back up support and you had that with your job. Whether you stay and learn to relax into the job or choose to transfer somewhere else in a couple of years, you will never replace that acute care experience. Twenty years later I still remember those patients, those scenarios, I am still a better nurse for it. I think we have a climate now in our society where any level of anxiety is considered unacceptable. It is up to an individual to decide how much they can deal with, but working as any kind of new medical professional in acute care is going to cause a tremendous amount of it, that is the price you pay to gain experience and instinct. Learning to work and make good decisions when you are anxious or afraid is another major benefit to this, it is something that will stay with you the rest of your career. I don't think you gave this job a chance, but that is just MO.
I come from a pediatric respiratory background and was offered a job on an adult pulmonary step-down floor immediately after graduation. I lasted 6 months, and the 3 months I was on my own was awful and made me question my decision to switch careers. I did not have supportive management, our unit educator who was helpful was out on leave, and my co-worker were----not nice. If I stayed late to help with an unstable patient, it was the wrong decision. If I turned over an unstable patient at shift change, it was the wrong decision. If I asked for help, the charge nurse would say 'any idiot should know the answer to that question' or 'how long have you been a nurse again?'
I had done patient care for 10 years as a Peds RT so I knew it was the environment, but I couldn't transfer. The hospital's policy was 6 months with manager approval and one year without, and my mananger would never approve a transfer as the unit was incredibly short staffed and they were looking for 'anyone with a pulse' to work there. So I quit. Which even in the bad situation I hated to do.
I had another job waiting for me. Was it something I ever thought I'd like. No way. I work in physical rehab--which is a lot like med surg with its post-op ortho, stroke, post CABG, and wound care, but without monitors or physicians there 24/7. I swear my assessment skills have improved tremendously, as well as time management. Its amazing what a supportive environment will do for one's confidence. At present I've been a RN for 10 months, and I like my job. I don't want to stay in this environment forever, but it has been quite the learning experience.
Hi can you tell me what state you are in? I am in South Florida and i literally can't find any graduate jobs and it has become really stressful. So i may have to consider relocating.
Hi can you tell me what state you are in? I am in South Florida and i literally can't find any graduate jobs and it has become really stressful. So i may have to consider relocating.
I have heard the market was tough for new grads in Florida.
It seems there are a lot of openings for new grads in GA. I know it's not that close (depending on where in FL you live), but I guess it would be an easier move than other states much further away. The South is generally lower paying than other states, but the closer to Atlanta you get, the higher the pay (compared to the rest of GA anyway).
I love long term care. You should give it a try. The pace isn't too bad, like someone else said, you are able to get a routine down eventually. There is predictability because you know the residents. It's hard work if you work day or evening shift but as you know their meds and treatments you will be able to manage your work better. I'm able to pick up a lot of overtime working long term care so you can really make $$$ if you put in the hours. The residents are quirky and have much wisdom. Hope you consider it. It's a great specialty for new grads to hone their skills in assessment.
I've read some comments but there are so many, I can't read them all. Instead I'll just say this: I could have written this post. I went to nursing school at the age of 42, after being a stay-home mom for 17 years. I sailed through nursing school, graduating with honors. Clinicals were sometimes scary, but mostly I got through fine. I landed a job offer in Labor & Delivery 6 weeks before graduation. I was thrilled. I passed NCLEX with 75 questions on my first try and I was done. I oriented on days (but was hired for nights). My first patient had a post-partum hemorrhage and it was horrific. Of course my preceptor and others took over and did what needed to be done, but I was blown out of the water. I kept at it, but I stopped sleeping. I was terrified on the floor. My coworkers were NOT supportive or kind. I would get in trouble for spending 20 minutes with a new mother teaching her to breastfeed. I would hesitate to give meds because I was paralyzed that I was going to OD someone. I was miserable and riddled with anxiety anyway, but then I started on nights. My preceptor told me I'd probably do better on nights because it was usually less busy (or at least, didn't have doctors and family members everywhere). It was okay, not horrible, and I think I would have eventually gotten it, but I was still not sleeping. I would come home after 13 hours and take a bath and try to sleep, only to "nap" for maybe an hour or two, then would be wide awake. I would freak out because I knew I had to be back at work at 7pm and I was completely exhausted. I was coming up on 90 days, and I knew there was no way I could keep doing this. I begged our nurse manager to find a position on days for me, but she said there was no way. I thought about transferring to days on another floor, but honestly, I felt like a miserable failure and I had fallen into despair. I had lost 25 lbs in 6 weeks and I was paralyzed with anxiety. Very unlike me, I made the decision to walk away. I have never felt more desperate or useless in my life. After a couple of weeks of thinking I had wasted years of my life, and then digging myself out of the pit, I started looking for work. I prayed a lot. Over the next few months, this is how it went: I did flu shot clinics for several weeks, then I took several PRN jobs in GP's and Pediatrician's offices and did that for several months, then I got a job as a recovery nurse in an endo office (they had a separate endo clinic) which was perfect for me, because the risks were very low, and then, after a few months of that, I was hired as a staffing supervisor at a home health agency. I got that job because I was told my intelligence and excellent communication skills were more important than my experience. I taught orientation to CNAs, I wrote policy (which took a lot of Board of Nursing research), I wrote plans of care for CNA-level patients, I did supervisory visits to CNA level patients, I interacted with pcp's and other health care team members for our clients, etc. I did that job for 2 years, and then for many reasons I won't go into now, I had to leave that job to home school my youngest son for a year. Once our school year was over, I thought I would never find another good job again, but within a week, I was hired as an RN Case Manager for a Case Management agency. I oversee the Case Mgmt for disabled children on a Medicaid Waiver program. It is a dream job. I work from home, I set my own schedule, I see my patients every 90 days in their home, I do all the annual work to keep them on the program, I make contact with their PTs, OTs, Speech therapists, DME companies, etc. I have been blessed beyond measure, but I believe God led me to nursing for another reason. I volunteer my nursing services at a free clinic on weekends, and I have been trained in obstetric ultrasonography and I volunteer in a pro-life pregnancy center a couple of days a month. Saving the lives of unborn babies has been the joy of my life. I guess I'm writing this to tell you that you are not alone, and you are NOT a failure. When you say "floor nursing is not for me" I know exactly what you mean, and I relate 100%. I am not stupid, and I am not a quitter. I knew I was in the wrong place almost immediately, and when it became clear it was not working for me at all, I had to walk away. I wouldn't advise everyone to just quit. In fact, there are many times I've regretted not pushing through the pain and fear and doing what I had to do to make it work. But at the end of the day, I found what I am good at and what is a blessing to me, and you will too. Don't give up.
Are these case management jobs in every state? This is something that i would look into. Thanks for your insightful post.
Yes, there is a nursing shortage where I live. Several of my classmates took jobs with $2500 sign-on bonus. I just accepted a position with a $3500 sign-on bonus. In other parts of my southern state, hospitals are paying $7000 sign-on bonus.
If you are having a problem finding a job, maybe you should consider relocating.
Most of my graduating class had job offers prior to graduation.
What state are you from though? Florida has hardly any vacancy for Grad Rn?
I also can relate!!!! I saw the title of the post and could not wait to open it! I am 6 months into my first nursing job and the stress is so unbelievable. I had no idea it would be this stressful. I am still at my job but wonder if I will ever "acclimate" to this type of nursing. I just feel like if anything this is my "boot camp" job and I need it to launch me into anything else. If I had known it would be this stressful I probably would have chosen a different path. All we can do I keep trying and keep our eyes open for opportunities....good luck in your search.
I live in central Kentucky. Yes, there are lots of nursing jobs here that actually pay sign-on bonuses. Hospitals in the eastern portion of the state are paying the largest bonuses. Hope that is helpful!
Sorry - should have used the quote option - this was a response to an earlier post!
IceDancer
16 Posts
When I started nursing, twenty years ago, I was in a similar boat. On an Onc/med floor, with a great preceptor and supportive staff. It was the ideal situation for me to grow, "team nursing" with eight patients per RN and CNA. I stayed for five years. The first year or two were incredibly nerve racking. I worried constantly, I could not go to sleep at night because I would worry I had done something wrong or forgotten something. I would call the floor sometimes after I left to make sure I had not forgotten something. I heard pumps and call bells in my sleep. I asked questions constantly. I dragged my co workers over to look at something, to check something. Even the first death I had.....I could not be sure he was dead! I called another staff nurse in to check him and she took one look and said, "Oh yeah, he's dead." I made mistakes. Nothing life threatening, no med errors, but I made poor choices at times based on my lack of clinical experience. But I got better.
By the third year I was orienting new grads. I started teaching chemo classes. By the fourth year I got my OCN. I sat on multiple committees and taught new systems to my fellow co workers. I gained a reputation for being exceptional with palliative care for patients and families. By the end of my fifth year the floor had gone through many changes and a severe staffing shortage pushed me out. I was tired of travelers and registry making twice what I was making while I did their chemo and took care of the issues related to an Oncology floor that they were not trained in, as well as taking the most acute cancer patients as my own.
I switched to home care. I had a couple of weeks orientation and was then out on my own. Boy I was grateful for those five years of seeing all kinds of patients and learning from all kinds of professionals, RT, PT, MDs, RNs. In the hospital I had back up. In the home I had me. The first open I had was having a massive stroke when I entered her home and was confused and refusing to go to the ER. I did not know for sure she was having a stroke but I knew for sure she needed to go to the hospital. Despite her protests I called an ambulance who also expressed reluctance to take her and started arguing with me. I managed to use a complaint of chest pain she had mentioned in her confusion to basically force them to take her. The ER doc called my boss later that day and said she would have died had I not known to push for that transport, and being in a hospital for five years taught me my instincts, taught me to believe in them, and taught me to not be afraid to push.
Those instincts of mine saved many lives over the past fifteen years. I am not bragging, that is true for any good home care nurse, you will save lives with your decisions and often they are your decisions alone. Home Care is easier in many ways than being in the hospital, but you need to know what you are doing, and need excellent time management just as in the hospital. I feel the same about Hospice. There is an art to bringing a"good death", emotionally and physically to the patient and the family, and palliative care in the hospital is the best place to learn about that.
IMO, the reality of the first years of nursing in acute care is that they suck majorily. You will be nervous, anxious, sleepless, and miserable. The only thing that makes them bearable is having good back up support and you had that with your job. Whether you stay and learn to relax into the job or choose to transfer somewhere else in a couple of years, you will never replace that acute care experience. Twenty years later I still remember those patients, those scenarios, I am still a better nurse for it. I think we have a climate now in our society where any level of anxiety is considered unacceptable. It is up to an individual to decide how much they can deal with, but working as any kind of new medical professional in acute care is going to cause a tremendous amount of it, that is the price you pay to gain experience and instinct. Learning to work and make good decisions when you are anxious or afraid is another major benefit to this, it is something that will stay with you the rest of your career. I don't think you gave this job a chance, but that is just MO.