I graduated in May and started my first job as an RN in July on a busy surgical floor at a local hospital minutes from my home. It was a perfect set up. The nurses I worked with were awesome, the supervisors were supportive and helpful, and as mentioned before, it was minutes from my house. The problem was I was about to be off orientation and I was terrified! I am definitely not cut out to be a floor nurse. The thought of taking care of 5-8 patients all by myself scared me to death!! I felt overwhelmed and worried that I was going to miss something when I no longer had my preceptor to catch me when I fall. The type of fear I was feeling wasn't normal new grad fear. It was clearly my personality and I can't change that. Anyone who has been a floor nurse should know what I mean. You either can do it or you can't. And it's not safe to "wing it." I recognized this was not where I belong as a nurse. I was always running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. So, needless to say, I decided to leave my job. Now I am unemployed and truly worried I have wasted the past 4 years of my life going to school for a career that I am not going to be able to do. My husband and parents think I'm a failure. I'm beginning to believe it also.
I love patient care and would work a lot better in an environment where I could spend more one-on-one time with my patient, but where are jobs like that when you don't have experience? And now I'm worried it will look bad that I quit a job after 3 months, but I truly felt like something bad was going to happen if I didn't get out now. I have applied at 2 dialysis centers, ECT, and considering correctional nursing. But again, all of those positions state experience required. I applied anyway, but not feeling too confident.
If anyone has any sound advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
First, as in any field, the less demanding jobs usually come after some experience is added to the resume. However, one thing you might want to consider is going to a counselor or psychologist to discuss your fears. It sounded like, from your description that anxiety was a big part of why you left your job.
You could possibly find that with some good counseling, and good experience, you feel more natural out on the floor. We all have a different tolerance for uncertainty, and there truly is a great deal of uncertainty in nursing. But with successful time, and training oneself to de-escalate, one might gain enough confidence to make it through an orientation period, and actually gain some very important confidence in dealing with patients on a daily basis.
All the best to you with whatever direction you chose.
I feel like I wrote this! I thought I had landed my dream job on a surgical trauma floor a few months after graduating. I quickly realized that it wasn't for me and floor nursing was probably not my thing. I had a 9 week orientation and decided not to continue at the end of it. I was so worried I would never find a job and no one would want me because i quit. I found a job in a locked psych hospital and worked there for 10 months even though it was scary and dangerous. About a month ago, I accepted a job in a primary care office and I really love it! I think this is the type of nursing for me. I still do "nurse things" but my stress level has decreased a lot and I finally feel like I can take a breath. Look into office jobs or even a flu clinic since it is flu season and there are tons around! good luck :) you aren't alone with feeling overwhelmed!! I understand what you mean by not a normal new grad nervousness, I had it too.
i second this!
I just went through all of that earlier this month. I even posted here on AN asking for advice on other specialties, and people's experiences with them. Sadly, I only got a few good/useful responses and also some very critical ones. It didn't bother me other than the comments that treated me as though I was some kid who knew nothing about how the world works. I'm a grown man who knows what works and what doesn't, floor nursing just simply doesn't, for me, right now at this point. So I sat down and made a realistic list of possible specialties, being honest with myself about my own strengths, weaknesses and wants.
For me, my strongest areas in school were community and mental health as I was never a clinical all-star, but I had exceptional communication skills. I applied to several mental health and community health locations. Not to toot my own horn, but I generally interview well, and I received multiple offers. I ultimately chose a mental health facility that actually paid me a little bit more than my hospital job (where I was for only 3 months).
might this new job be stressful? Probably, but not all stress is equal and some stresses seem to be less and/or a lot more manageable to some than others. You just have to find what you are better geared for.
Lastly, don't let this experience bring you down or make you question your ability as a nurse. I did the same thing. That just might not have been your forte at that given point in time, or at all, but that's okay. There is so much more to nursing than the architype nursing role. We ALL care for patients/clients in different ways at various levels.
PM me if you would like to talk further or want some additional advice on resumes or interviews or something.
Thank you to all that have taken the time to post. I have read some negativity, but for the most part, everyone has been helpful in trying to give their advice based on the experiences they have had in nursing. I appreciate that! I want to clarify why I quit my job without a job lined up. I quit because I was still on orientation and knew I wasn't going to stay. It made me feel guilty knowing how that works. They don't only pay me, they pay two nurses for the same job. My conscious got in the way. I agree with those who posted that home health is not a good option. My assessment skills are not on that level. I also feel that LTC may not be the place for me because of the one-on-one care I strive to be able to give to my patients. ICU on the other hand, I have considered. I have also considered hospice. I have a few interviews over the next week. Hopefully God will place me where I need to be. Thank you to those who have been supportive!
Wow, the more I read, the more your story sounds EXACTLY like mine.
Specializes in L&D; GI; Fam Med; Home H; Case mgmt.
I've read some comments but there are so many, I can't read them all. Instead I'll just say this: I could have written this post. I went to nursing school at the age of 42, after being a stay-home mom for 17 years. I sailed through nursing school, graduating with honors. Clinicals were sometimes scary, but mostly I got through fine. I landed a job offer in Labor & Delivery 6 weeks before graduation. I was thrilled. I passed NCLEX with 75 questions on my first try and I was done. I oriented on days (but was hired for nights). My first patient had a post-partum hemorrhage and it was horrific. Of course my preceptor and others took over and did what needed to be done, but I was blown out of the water. I kept at it, but I stopped sleeping. I was terrified on the floor. My coworkers were NOT supportive or kind. I would get in trouble for spending 20 minutes with a new mother teaching her to breastfeed. I would hesitate to give meds because I was paralyzed that I was going to OD someone. I was miserable and riddled with anxiety anyway, but then I started on nights. My preceptor told me I'd probably do better on nights because it was usually less busy (or at least, didn't have doctors and family members everywhere). It was okay, not horrible, and I think I would have eventually gotten it, but I was still not sleeping. I would come home after 13 hours and take a bath and try to sleep, only to "nap" for maybe an hour or two, then would be wide awake. I would freak out because I knew I had to be back at work at 7pm and I was completely exhausted. I was coming up on 90 days, and I knew there was no way I could keep doing this. I begged our nurse manager to find a position on days for me, but she said there was no way. I thought about transferring to days on another floor, but honestly, I felt like a miserable failure and I had fallen into despair. I had lost 25 lbs in 6 weeks and I was paralyzed with anxiety. Very unlike me, I made the decision to walk away. I have never felt more desperate or useless in my life. After a couple of weeks of thinking I had wasted years of my life, and then digging myself out of the pit, I started looking for work. I prayed a lot. Over the next few months, this is how it went: I did flu shot clinics for several weeks, then I took several PRN jobs in GP's and Pediatrician's offices and did that for several months, then I got a job as a recovery nurse in an endo office (they had a separate endo clinic) which was perfect for me, because the risks were very low, and then, after a few months of that, I was hired as a staffing supervisor at a home health agency. I got that job because I was told my intelligence and excellent communication skills were more important than my experience. I taught orientation to CNAs, I wrote policy (which took a lot of Board of Nursing research), I wrote plans of care for CNA-level patients, I did supervisory visits to CNA level patients, I interacted with pcp's and other health care team members for our clients, etc. I did that job for 2 years, and then for many reasons I won't go into now, I had to leave that job to home school my youngest son for a year. Once our school year was over, I thought I would never find another good job again, but within a week, I was hired as an RN Case Manager for a Case Management agency. I oversee the Case Mgmt for disabled children on a Medicaid Waiver program. It is a dream job. I work from home, I set my own schedule, I see my patients every 90 days in their home, I do all the annual work to keep them on the program, I make contact with their PTs, OTs, Speech therapists, DME companies, etc. I have been blessed beyond measure, but I believe God led me to nursing for another reason. I volunteer my nursing services at a free clinic on weekends, and I have been trained in obstetric ultrasonography and I volunteer in a pro-life pregnancy center a couple of days a month. Saving the lives of unborn babies has been the joy of my life. I guess I'm writing this to tell you that you are not alone, and you are NOT a failure. When you say "floor nursing is not for me" I know exactly what you mean, and I relate 100%. I am not stupid, and I am not a quitter. I knew I was in the wrong place almost immediately, and when it became clear it was not working for me at all, I had to walk away. I wouldn't advise everyone to just quit. In fact, there are many times I've regretted not pushing through the pain and fear and doing what I had to do to make it work. But at the end of the day, I found what I am good at and what is a blessing to me, and you will too. Don't give up.
Great, stick with it. Next thing you know the years will start passing buy. My daughter is getting ready to start college in January for Nursing, I told her it's tough and takes a lot out of you at first. Hang in there.
Lots of great advice here, and there are sooooo many postings that I admit to not having read all of them, but feel compelled to give my 50c worth. An often overlooked area that is fantastic for new grads is the Operating Room. Yes, you read that right, the OR! Most big hospital systems will have an OR grad intern program that trains you over a period of about 6 months, and then hires you on as an OR RN. It is ALWAYS 1:1 in the OR, and the grad intern never works alone until training is complete, and in some OR's RN's are two to a room in the more challenging cases. Some hospital systems require a pound of flesh in repayment, with a two year commitment after training, and others not. Look into your local hospital and see what GN programs they offer for the OR. You might just find your niche right there behind the red line :-) Either way I wish you good luck, and God's guidance in your search.
Come to public health! A lot of people think public health and home health are the same, but they're most definitely not. I started as a new grad right away in public health and have never regretted it.
It's great, because there are a lot of different programs that demand different types of skills. It runs a spectrum from preventive home visiting programs to desk-based case management and epidemiology/surveillance. You learn a lot about working closely with interdisciplinary teams, and get a good understanding of what health resources are available in your area. Plus, great work-life balance! I get nights, weekends, and holidays off, I have time to attend grad school classes because they can work with my schedule, and have a healthy pregnancy right now on top of it.
Edit:
I was wisely advised by my professor and advisor when I was a student wanting to precept in public health - there will be a lot of people who say that you can't be a marketable or complete nurse without "doing your time" on the floor.
They are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. If you know right away that the bedside is not for you, then you are lucky. Trust yourself. You are in no way obligated to do something that will make you burn out quickly in a profession that you worked so hard to enter, if you find another option that better suits you.
Nursing can be quite scary, especially when you are new. I almost quit nursing school several times. I felt as though I never really quite fit in. I see that some have stated how you do have a charge nurse, and others that you may get advice and help from. However, a lot of times when you ask too many questions, and/or help, they see you as being weak, and annoying. I think this is really wrong because as a new nurse, you should never do anything that you do not feel comfortable doing, and you SHOULD ask a TON of questions. I know that I did, but I also had veteran nurses give me a really hard time. I know all of this is no fun, however, it is my opinion that any nurse should have a good foundation before finding a job off of the floor. I worked long term care, rehab, and med/surg for over 10 years before I got lucky finding a job in Occupational Health. I totally love it. I finally have a nursing job that does not make me cringe. I don't even mind working extra if I have to. The stress level is SOOOOOO much less. Unfortunately, so is the pay. Anyway, I never want to go back to floor nursing full time. I do still work for an agency per diem just to keep up with my skills. However, If I had to go back full time, I may do something totally different, and get out of nursing all together. Once you experience alternative nursing jobs out there, you never want to go back. However, getting back to one of my points, I never know what type of health problems I am going to have to deal with in the clinic, so my diverse background really helps me out.
Look for a small endoscopy clinic. I did pre-op, post-op and loved it. You learn to start iv's, consents, put monitoring and charting. It can be fast paced but smaller clinics are more manageable.
The best advice I ever received while I was in nursing school was from one of my preceptors. She told us that after she graduated from nursing school and got her first job she would cry on her way to work and then cry in her car before going into work. This anxiety lasted for the first 9 months of her job! I remember her telling us this so we knew that it was completely normal to have the fear and anxiety of floor nursing, but also that it would end. We would become more confident in our nursing roles. It also gave us some perspective as students as to what could be expected. There IS NOT one nursing role that involves patients that isn't stressful. As a nurse you are caring for patients that need care which means that they are unstable in some way or another. The anxiety and fear is what makes you a good nurse. It's the nurses that think they know it all that are the scary ones.
Home care or private duty would be the worst place for a new grad with anxiety because you are all by yourself. You don't have a team to help you or anyone to ask a question to. LTC is "supposed" to have stable patients, but you have anywhere from 20-30 patients on a day/evening shift and up to 50 on a NOC shift. If one gets sick that's your whole shift and there is no time for 1:1. Psych is a whole other kind of stress with mentally unstable patients who DO become sick actually quite often.
I think you did what you felt you needed to do to keep your sanity, so keep your head high and soldier on. Maybe ask for more help next time, that's a huge life lesson we all need to learn.
So I think you should leave out the short lived experience as a hospital floor nurse on your resume, unless you have the reference on lockdown (which is unlikely). But if you do have a reference from that job, you could say you were having personal family problems at the time that prevented you from focusing on the job as much as you needed to. Then perhaps you could still get a foot in the door elsewhere.
Perhaps you could focus on home health care nursing, working with one patient at a time. Or maybe clinic nursing, where you might be handling more routine and non life-threatening issues. Best of luck.
I can totally identify with what you just said. The entire time I worked at the hospital I felt like the proverbial "running pill pusher." It was basically, "take this and bye." Then we won't even go into the spectra phone that we all had to carry ringing incessantly one time after another. I remember one patient's wife saying, "you can't even take care of him for that phone." Many times what I was being called for could have been handled by others, only they wouldn't answer their phones and it was easier to call me I guess lol. I'm glad I did try floor nursing however, because it definitely showed me what I DON'T want to do!
abailz
2 Posts
Hi Jack.
First, as in any field, the less demanding jobs usually come after some experience is added to the resume. However, one thing you might want to consider is going to a counselor or psychologist to discuss your fears. It sounded like, from your description that anxiety was a big part of why you left your job.
You could possibly find that with some good counseling, and good experience, you feel more natural out on the floor. We all have a different tolerance for uncertainty, and there truly is a great deal of uncertainty in nursing. But with successful time, and training oneself to de-escalate, one might gain enough confidence to make it through an orientation period, and actually gain some very important confidence in dealing with patients on a daily basis.
All the best to you with whatever direction you chose.