Anyone have an "unsupportive mate"?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

Published

Not tryin to ruffle any feathers... but does anyone have NO support? Am I overstepping? Tell me. My husband calls me fat (I'm 5'5" and 156 pounds with 5 kids)- says college is easy- he calls me names- he says if you can't afford the tuition/product/supplies that come with nursing- you shouldn't be in it... just tired girls... and need some POSITIVITY because he will not get me down. Gotta work til 3:00 am and be in class at 10:00am ( 1-1/2 hour public transportation to class). Haven't slept in 31 hours- be my light at the end of the tunnel... Please?

opradiva, 1st of all let me take this opportunity to apologize. I was frustrated, tired and since I pretty much keep everything in to avoid confrontation, every now and then my demons tend to excape. I am truly touched by everyone on this board that has shared their stories and insights with me. After getting 5 hours of sleep, and waking up to all the support offered here, I feel soooo much better. My 5 kids (ages 17, 16, 14, 12, and 9) do help some around the house, although they do tend to be a little lazy :) and they love the fact that I'm in college. They miss me some as I'm either always at school, work or studying, but I always tell them "just 2 more years".

Hey destined...don't mention it! I'm glad you have your children around you giving you support. Becoming a nurse is hard, especially if you've been out of the loop for some time. We all need to vent at times. I just want you to be happy:smilecoffeecup: . Keep working hard, don't give up, and believe in yourself. You're gonna make it!!!

:Melody: opradiva

Up Vote Up Vote ×
He can'e even help out by packing his own lunch or getting his coffee ready for the morning or even washing his own thermos. It gets maddening.

hmmm... he can't even help out by packing HIS OWN lunch?

honey.

don't pack his lunch.

don't get his coffee ready for the morning.

don't wash his thermos.

he is a big boy now and he will either go hungry at noon and drink from a stale ol' thermos or he will figure it out without your guidance.

Now go back to studying...:clown:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My hubby has made the comment that if I ever get into nursing school, and graduate, I will leave him. He also thinks nursing school is a piece of cake.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
hmmm... he can't even help out by packing HIS OWN lunch?

honey.

don't pack his lunch.

don't get his coffee ready for the morning.

don't wash his thermos.

he is a big boy now and he will either go hungry at noon and drink from a stale ol' thermos or he will figure it out without your guidance.

Now go back to studying...:clown:

I'll second that! :smokin:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care.

Yes, and I divorced him one month after graduating. It was the best move I ever did. His lack of support only made me more determined to graduate. His constant put downs were his obvious jealously over my success.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Accepted...Master's Entry Program, 2008!.

Yes I have been through that (and yes, men have their share of troubles). I divorced her 3 years ago.

No, it wasn't easy financially or otherwise. But staying in that wasn't worth my sanity or anything else in the world. That's the exact reason it's taken 7 years to pursue nursing.

Now I'm starting over with a new woman that is the exact inverse of the other one. She's at my side with 100% support.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

You need to dump this looser by the sounds of things. Verbal abuse only leads to physical abuse, which can obviously lead to serious injury!

swtooth

Up Vote Up Vote ×
hmmm... he can't even help out by packing HIS OWN lunch?

honey.

don't pack his lunch.

don't get his coffee ready for the morning.

don't wash his thermos.

he is a big boy now and he will either go hungry at noon and drink from a stale ol' thermos or he will figure it out without your guidance.

Now go back to studying...:clown:

How true, how true! I guess my Mom washed over onto me. She always had my step-dad's lunch packed, dinner made, laundry done. I do the same thing (not so much dinner all the time), but the difference is, I work and go to school and she was a stay at home Mom and wife. Don't get me wrong, she probably worked harder then than I do now. Staying home and raising kids 24/7 is NOT my idea of easy! But for some reason I feel I'm not doing my "job" if I don't get it ALL done. Crazy, I know, but there it is. I try to reason with myself, I tell myself the same things as you said, but down deep that's how I feel. I guess that's why I get pi**ed, the internal conflict, lol.......

Up Vote Up Vote ×

By the way, when I came home tonight, he had his lunc packed, thermos washed, and coffee ready for the morning. lol....... I bet he read my post, I did accidentally for get and leave it minimized on the computer.:roll

Up Vote Up Vote ×
i know i deserve better. already been to counseling and got all the handouts. so i'm not "putting up" with anything. but there is a monetary involvement for some of us. it's not so easy to just "pick up and move" because you're unhappy. i'm moving in 2 months on my own with no money, so i think i love myself a little bit. i was just trying to get a support system on here for those that weren't luckier than most to have a dh (dear hubby).

you will always have support on here from all of us!!!!! don't ever forget that! it sounds like your husband is the insecure one in this relationship and that probably can explain a lot for his actions. you sound like you have your head on right, but staying with someone who treats you the way he does isn't healthy for you! i'm glad to hear that you are moving out on your own soon, and i wish you the best of luck with that! i'm sure you probably already know this......things will be tough at times, but it will so be worth it in the long run. to be on your own, away from the verbal abuse will only give you more energy mentally, emotionally, and physically. keep us posted on your journey!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you all! And hairtocare- I'm so happy that hubby has improved for the moment. Hope he keeps it up :yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Thank you all! And hairtocare- I'm so happy that hubby has improved for the moment. Hope he keeps it up :yeah:

Thanks girl! I was shocked. But, hey, stranger things have happened. You keep us posted, and if you need some encouragement, you just yell!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment