Anyone else with a spouse that's NOT on board?

My husband does not want me in school - our youngest is still just almost two and he wants me at home with the kids (we also have an almost 7 and almost 5 y.o.). I've stayed at home until part-time school the last 2 years. Last year almost all of my school was online (hence at home), and this year I have been going 2 days/wk. About 1/2-3/4 of the time he watches the kids when I'm there. He does shift work so he is at home in the daytime more often than many people. That's actually one of the other reasons he doesn't want me in school, because we could be doing other things on his many days off, he feels like we're wasting the good part of his job - all the time off. I think it's mainly just that he doesn't want to watch the kids, because he never has. Even before school it was always a struggle if I wanted to go do something. So, I've told him I'd get a sitter, but he doesn't want them with a sitter any more than necessary either so he watches them but doesn't let me forget how miserable he is and how I'm making things so bad. He says the toddler cries all day (although my sitter doesn't have this problem). I think it's an exaggeration and however much is true is just because he sits around and just gets mad because he can't do what he's trying to do something non-kid-oriented, and the toddler is bored. He also doesn't do a single thing with the house - and I don't expect him to clean - BUT I mean he lets the kids COMPLETELY destroy the place like a hurricane went through every day that I'm at school. He also doesn't ever want me to go and do anything else besides school, since *school* is my 'hobby' now. And trying to do an assignment or study (which I'm super anal about my grades...)...is like pulling teeth, he pretty much expects me to do school without doing any work. Most of our friends' husbands *don't* keep their kids very often so it makes it an even harder argument (of course remembering that he doesn't want a sitter/daycare, either).

We also had a hard year relationship-wise for other unrelated reasons, we are hanging in there but it had us on the line for a little while. This year is our 10th anniversary and I don't think most people would imagine that we'd part in a million years (the stuff I was talking about was mostly a secret from everyone). I think he believes that I'll get this degree and leave him (even though I've told him that's not it, and it's not). I think that other stuff is mostly over now, but the school thing is a neverending battle that sometimes seems like it's at critical mass.

Part of the whole thing to me is money and being able to support myself and the kids if anything happened to him (he has a risky job but I don't have to work for us to be financially viable right now). I also just totally love nursing school. But I also know that he is totally miserable and I really feel like this is chipping away at our relationship, which has always been very very close and enviable, a soulmate-best friend type thing. I thought that going part-time would be a good compromise but it not working for him. I don't think I should have to quit, but I don't know if it's worth my marriage. He would probably be ok with me going back later, when all of the kids are in school, but sometimes you know how it goes when you lose that momentum? Plus, I just have to have a little something besides sitting at home with the kids all day, every day. Most the time is ok, but not every living hour. I have been pretty motivated until now, but I just don't know how long I can swim against the current, & the current is getting rougher. I thought I'd just stick to my guns and he'd 'get over it' but it ain't happening & neither one of us thinks we should have to give in. Even if I gave in and postponed school I'm not sure I could do it and not be resentful. What do you do when you just utterly disagree?