Anyone available to talk?:(

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I'm awaiting an evaluation in a few days and then awaiting a contract to be made. I self reported to the board and my states recovery program...narcotic related. I have no idea what to expect. I'm just so lost and so sad. Not allowed to work...who knows when I'll be released. If I get a five year contract, it just seems daunting. The fees for the drug tests? Does anyone know when those start? Right after I get the contract, when I start whatever treatment they recommend, or when I'm released to work? I can't afford that and not work, not to mention treatment. It's all so much to take in. Some days I feel like I can make it, and other days I want to give up. I feel like I change minute to minute. I'm just so so sad..and wish i could take it all back, it wasn't worth it.

I've been in IPN in FL since 2002. Mostly because I never wanted recovery or could not get it. Now I'm up for another contract... See my post two down. I'll never give up but I've been where you are so many times now I make it look easy. My wife is pretty mad.

Your drug screens will start immediately after you finish treatment if it's like IPN. Do not miss one! If you are really an addict get a good sponser, don't be afraid to change if you don't feel good about the first one or three. Work the steps!!!! I finally had a spiritual awakening last year. I'll never drink again and that is a miracle!

Specializes in pediatrics; PICU; NICU.

Bsn10,

First of all, here is a ((((hug)))) for you. I know you can't send PMs yet but I think you can receive them. I'm going to PM my phone number & email address to you. Feel free to call or text me any time (including in the middle of the night). Where you are in this process is a very lonely, scary place & you shouldn't have to be there without support.

Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.

I will PM you as well. *Hug*

Don't give up on yourself

I remember that feeling.. My employer came to me about some concerns and I came clean. I was able to keep my job and self report.

Basically what happened was I had a meeting with the PEER program in Oklahoma. I applied and was accepted. I signed a contract saying I would consent to 24 UDS a year, 16 AA meetings a month, counseling, yadda yadda. I also agreed to cease nursing practice immediately. This is only temporary, after 4 consecutive negative UDS I can return to work with certain stipulations (can't give narcs for a while). On top of that you have to have a substance abuse evaluation that ran me about $600. They ask you a bunch of stupid questions like have you done this before and yadda yadda. After the eval she does some paperwork and determines what immediate services you need which range from X weeks of counseling to inpatient rehab. She told me I was a very low level abuser (or something like that) and would only need 6 weeks of 1 hour counseling sessions before I should be able to return to work. I'm about to apply to have them reinstate me since I've completed all that stuff. Now I just have these god-awful AA meetings and weekly counseling to worry about.

It seems so overwhelming at first but once you start making progress through the program you will start to feel better. Take this time off to try and relax and make a game plan. It's definitely not the end of the world and is 100% possible to make it through this program and survive! It's been about 2 1/2 months since this whole ordeal started for me and I feel so much better than when I was first approached about all this. Please keep your head up and PM me if you have ANY questions

Those "god awful " AA meetings might just change your life if you let them. If you don't like the ones your going to find some others.

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