I'm targeting the 2nd career set b/c I think there's that commonality but as always any perspective is great.
I never thought I'd be thinking this way. I thought I knew this is what I wanted. The more I do my job at LTC the more I see it's not for me. I have serious issues with the "pills I'm pushing" I knew I would, I didn't think it would surface this soon. I have other issues as well but it's pointless to go into all of them. I thought the "place" would be enough, it's not. But it must be for the near future at least.
I love the "idea" of integrative and CAM therapies, but it seems that's a pipedream. I don't see it much in my area. The alternative health places in my area don't seem to hire RN's just ND's so I have no idea how I could work with them.
I have an idea of going on for a FNP but really wonder how feasible (financially start up of a place etc...) plus do I really want that responsibility on me and how to even go into practice with another physician to do integrative medicine. It seems to ridiculous to plan out honestly.
I love research, and learning things(how and why things work the way they do). But I don't think research in the terms of putting together studies appeals to me in the least (using people as guinea pigs). But I do really love the knowledge of all of this and want to continue my education if I could find a schedule that's doable. Just what to do with it?
I'm reading about insurance company nursing and the research part involved in that sounds interesting, but how do I really know? I don't like hospital politics so would I feel the same about insurance or do you have more control esp if you get a master's in that?
What do you do when you know you don't like where you are, but have no idea where to go from there?
I really don't want hospital nursing when I get down to it, but must I in order to move on to insurance, NP, or whatever?
I've read even if you think you've made a mistake in nursing, stick it out there's many avenues, sure how do you figure it out?
I never thought I'd miss the simplicity of my old job. I didn't like feeling beaten down, but at least I had normal hours, saw my family (I really miss not seeing my son, my H tries to stay up and chat but it's getting old). I thought my life would be normal after school, I feel even more unsure now of everything...anyone else?
I am a second degree new RN also. I have 9 months of experience on a ortho/neuro floor and am disenchanted with nursing. I love the hands on patient care but hate all of the other "stuff" that goes along with it. I don't like the repetetive charting that there is never enough time to do, calling stressed out hospitalists for orders who also do not have enough time, the all time consuming admissions, and the million of other tasks that take you away from the bedside.
I am trying to stick it out for 2 years and than look for some other area of nursing. The stress of hospital care is taking it's toll. It is a shame that it is like this as I really wanted to be a nurse to take care of people. I have found out it is not about the patients but the charting to cover mine and the hospital's a--es.
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I just got in from another long night (which I don't mind staying as it's busy and I like busy and the time flying) and my one resident was once again trynig to pull her g-tube out. I had to give her Xanax to try to calm her (which didn't work anyway) and she eventually tired herself out. Gotta say, made me feel quite lousy about what I'm doing there. I talked to my co-workers who are awesome and they talked to me as they understand too that no one understands why the family is doing this to someone at her age and her injury (stroke brain stem injury) She consistently tries to pull it out simply b/c SHE doesn't want it, would prefer to die (one of the nurses was able to get answers out of her a week ago, mostly she lies in a near vegatative state)...so some patient advocate I am.(family advocate I suppose but it doesn't change my feelings) I'm sick when I think of what I have to do to her. Injections, meds that most certainly do NOT improve her quality of life, they simply make her vital signs read normal, they are doing absolutely nothing to help her regain anything, they're just prolonging the inevitable.
But I get that I have to let these things roll off and not take them personally if I'm to survive however long I'm there.
So, yeah when I have to crush up meds for others, put them in pudding and have the resident look at me like I'm the devil while I try to cajole/console her that it's for the "best" ....like I said I do know long term is not for me. But that's all I know. (No I never stepped into LTC before this job, stupid perhaps but like I said I had visions of elders sitting in wheelchairs A+O (not the dementia) or people more on a med/surg level that would move on (we do have some of those)
My school did a rotation at an Alzheimer unit, and it humbled me (as touched as I was, I knew that was also not the place for me) I wanted so much to call my mom later that week to tell her how much I appreciated her still sharp wit, being able to bowl 2 leagues, self sufficient all at 83.....that day never came as at the end of the week she died suddenly and peacefully. So I respect those that can tackle that population, I know and respect my limitations. I do the best I can in this situation.
To the one who asked why I'm doing this. I felt a calling at a later age. I followed it and things absolutely lined up to show this was my true path. Way too many things to list and in no way coincedences or whatever. I"m a big believer in things that are meant to be will be. I very much enjoy the spiritual talks or any talks I can have w/my residents, problem is, too far and few between...plus no real time w/everything else that's expected. I've said a many times here, I love the "place" as far as LTC it's very good...I just realize LTC and what is done, is not for me. I think (hope) this is just one of the many steps that I have to take that will bring me to where I should be in nursing. I just wish I had the clarity to see it now.
HMarie: I actually was fortunate in my program we got to do a HH rotation through our community semester. I did enjoy that, and it's on my "possibilities" list too, however honestly it dropped down a little in consideration after that unfortunate thread here of the nurse that lost her friend to violence in HH.
Roser: You're absolutely correct. I think being older does "spoil" us somewhat to know what is or isn't doable rather quickly. And I have short tolerance as I realize how short and precious life really is. Can you say what area of nursing you are in now?
ChangeofPace: Thank you for expressing better than I could at this weary hour! I would have never believed that's what it comes down to in LTC but I'm seeing it first hand.
elprup: Thank you for that link. That helps considerably. It seems you google different nursing areas, and it just becomes one maze after another instead of a concise list. So it's so hard to figure out what you even want to try next. And I'm definately hospital gun shy being I didn't have bad feelings about LTC and was surprised and I already feel I won't want the hospital atmosphere.
I agree, I need to priortize what's important to me. I agree at some point, I do need to get back to "bankers hours" as that's where I'm most comfortable. Course at that time, my son is 17 and this is likely his last year home...so I think of all that time I missed with him to try to "better our lives" and follow a calling and I don't know, I can't say I totally regret it, but it's knocked me back a little more than I anticipated.
To those starting your journey in nursing school, I wish you the best. I mean that. We were told too, to keep it written somewhere "why" you went into nursing. That hasn't left me, but you have to understand sometimes no matter how idealistic you want the world to be, the reality of nursing and what goes on in the "real world" is vastly different than classroom, clinicals, text book. And I suppose that reality will have me making adjustments to find my way of where I fit in.
I do have the heart and compassion I guess that's what's killing me in so many aspects. I have the highly analytical nature instead of just letting things roll, I guess that's why it's so frustrating to not know. Again, many thanks...I appreciate seeing the support, especially after tonight.:redbeathe
We are not pill pushers!!!! We are so much more than that..why nurses put themselves down!! It is one thing to dislike your job but to put yourself down is a different game.As a matter of fact we are not pill pushers,we run the show,yes it us...maybe we are doing this in disguise but we are still doing that..who spends majority of the time with patients,who completely asseses the patient,who reports critical changes in the patient's condition,who talks with all the lab people,pharmacy people,who makes sure orders are carried out,who makes sure patient is educated and ready to be discharged,who comforts the patient and the family as well,come on were are hardworking and smart individuals not just pill pushers as some call it.
We are not pill pushers!!!! We are so much more than that..why nurses put themselves down!! It is one thing to dislike your job but to put yourself down is a different game.As a matter of fact we are not pill pushers,we run the show,yes it us...maybe we are doing this in disguise but we are still doing that..who spends majority of the time with patients,who completely asseses the patient,who reports critical changes in the patient's condition,who talks with all the lab people,pharmacy people,who makes sure orders are carried out,who makes sure patient is educated and ready to be discharged,who comforts the patient and the family as well,come on were are hardworking and smart individuals not just pill pushers as some call it.
Do you have experience in LTC or just acute? Because I did not feel I was as much a "pill pusher" when I did my 200 hours in a cardiac step down. I wasn't having to crush them up only to have the resident spit them back. If they were that sick, they had an IV far different experience than watching someone shudder and cough b/c they themselves can't stand the stuff.
I don't say it out of disrepect I say it as a fact that a HUGE component of my work is pushing a cart and popping out pills from a card. I'd say probably 1/2 my time is spent doing this in 2 time rounds. Unlike a hospital where you have the 8 or so that need meds that hardly take any time at all in comparison. It's admitted that many of the resident's doctors haven't even looked (and ignore rqsts) at to see if meds can be changed/eliminated since they've been there, some for many years.
It's 100 pct correct the person on this thread that said many of the meds are simply there to counteract what another med is doing and this is good for the resident how? The pharmaceutical companies have zero interest in curing or truly "helping" anyone, their bottom line is $$$ and the way they insure that is by making sure that the resident NEEDS to stay on the med.
You'll never, ever convince me that there's not a huge pharmaceutical push b/c of the money. Sorry but I worked for a company that supplied travel to one of the biggest pharmaceuticals in the world. Perhaps I know too much, what I do know disgusts me, again not a disrespect...a fact.
I have a lady about to be discharged. She told me she never in her life was on so many pills as what she was put on here. She takes 34 pills a day thorugh us! She wants her cardiologist faxed the med list to see if any can be eliminated. I don't blame her. She's a prime example of being on one pill that counteracts the effects of this one, to stop the effects of another. Then don't get me started on the laxitives, not one or two in some cases 5! but then give them imodium, back to the laxitives. Please....this is not promoting quality of life to me.
And spending quality time with the patient to assess them? Love to, again it doesn't sound like you are speaking about LTC.
I agree with your post. Before I worked in the hospital I worked on a LTC floor for 5 months. My shift consisted of passing meds and doing skin treatments and I felt like a pill pusher too. Very rarely was there an assessment done. Only did an assessment if there was something going awry with one of my peeps. There is not enough time to do assessments on 25 people. I only had to chart on my resident's who needed to be sent out to the hospital or who had ongoing problems.
In the hospital I do not feel like a pill pusher but rather a person who still does not have enough time with my patients. It really bothers me that I feel this way but I am going to have to accept the fact that I do not have enough time to administer to their emotional needs as well as their physical without incurring 2 hrs of OT everynight.
Nursing is not what I thougt it would be at all. Even though I worked as an aide in a hospital before becoming a nurse I still did not realize the extent of the extra "stuff" that takes nurses away from the bedside.
I agree with your post. Before I worked in the hospital I worked on a LTC floor for 5 months. My shift consisted of passing meds and doing skin treatments and I felt like a pill pusher too. Very rarely was there an assessment done. Only did an assessment if there was something going awry with one of my peeps. There is not enough time to do assessments on 25 people. I only had to chart on my resident's who needed to be sent out to the hospital or who had ongoing problems.
In the hospital I do not feel like a pill pusher but rather a person who still does not have enough time with my patients. It really bothers me that I feel this way but I am going to have to accept the fact that I do not have enough time to administer to their emotional needs as well as their physical without incurring 2 hrs of OT everynight.
Nursing is not what I thougt it would be at all. Even though I worked as an aide in a hospital before becoming a nurse I still did not realize the extent of the extra "stuff" that takes nurses away from the bedside.
Oh I hear you there! I have goofy visions of Florence Nightengale and the true pioneer that she was and the difference she made. I wanted that in modern day. No matter how many times I'd read or hear "you'll never have enough quality time, it's all about the paperwork, policies etc..." I thought, "nope, not me....I'll make it different" yeah, that's until you try and you get the gentle reminders of the responsibilites of aides vs nurses and you don't have time for this or that. And if someone falls, well forget it, the mound of paperwork and calls that have to be made, instant overtime. At least I don't get grief about that. I read where some nurses have to go off the clock and chart on their time, I think I'd go ballistic on that.
I remember being taken aback we don't get vitals on everyone. Very hard to read if someone isn't themselves w/o these markers, esp the dementia residents.
Who knows maybe I can be somewhat of a pioneer in my hopes of seeing more integrative medicine being used. There's one doctor in my area that will treat GI disorders for example with not necessarily a pharm med, but maybe trying peppermint 1st. The classmate that I took Chemistry with raved about him and how he's helped her. He can prescribe pharm meds when it's absolutely necessary I realize some are necessary, but antibiotics for one example, are way overprescribed) but he has that alternative bent too. Not sure if he works with any nurses. Shame that there's only one doctor like that here but I guess many people frown on it thinking it's not real to treat people that way. But when you look at really healthy older people, you will generally see a more natural lifestyle and very little if any pharm meds.
Good luck to you on your path, sounds like you've taken steps forward by at least leaving one unhappy environment. I agree any place is going to have problems and issues and dislikes, but I know it shouldn't be this severe.
"I love research, and learning things(how and why things work the way they do). But I don't think research in the terms of putting together studies appeals to me in the least (using people as guinea pigs). But I do really love the knowledge of all of this and want to continue my education if I could find a schedule that's doable. Just what to do with it?"
Not all clinical research makes "guinea pigs" of people in the way you indicate. Although I am not yet a nurse, I have worked in clinical research for several years-- and I love it. it's not just the 8 to 4 or 5 schedule and the nice clothes and less-pressurized environment. I am actually helping people.
If you find a good institution doing legit work, you can really make a diffierence. And you don't necessarily have to design studies- you can implement them. And you won't necessarily be working with untested drugs-- you may be studying health-related behavior patterns, or comparing two proven interventions to see which yields superior results. You may even be evaluating different patient education strategies.
The best part-- you do get to advocate for you patients and educate them on their condition. Also, a typical study visit may last 30 minutes to an hour or more-- how often do you get to spend that kind of 1-1 time with a patient in other settings?
Finally, many people who volunteer for clinical trials have little or no insurance, and can greatly benefit from the treatment being offered through the study.
It is not totally rosy-- it has downsides like any other job (paperwork and more paperwork); BUT, you may want to talk to other RNs working in research and see if it is for you.
Kittyhawk, I find myself throwing this advice around quite a bit...but it was such a lifesaver to me I want to pass it on. Have you considered school nursing? If you are in a poor, urban district like mine you have limited resources and much, much need. You have to be creative to get the care that kids need. You are generally not pushing tons of pills, although you may have some kids on ADD/ADHD meds and you have to come to terms with your feelings about that (IMO, they are probably overused but on the other hand I have seen them make a huge difference for some kids). In my district, I can't even give Tylenol for a fever without a written permit/MD order and parental permission. So, without a med for every ailment, you have to be creative. I have done guided imagery with some kids, relaxation, even music therapy once (with pretty good results!).
Just a thought. You are clearly such a caring and compassionate nurse. I would hate for nursing to lose you! Just from your posts, I could see you making a difference in many lives once you find your "bliss" in nursing!
Kittyhawk, thank you for sharing your experience. I am just beginning my second career nursing journey and you reminded me of one of the primary reasons that I hope to eventually work in an ICU rather than LTC (I had forgotten). I know you will find something you find more suitable!:redbeathe
Forthebirds: interesting that you bring up combining 2 different health aspects. Before I went the nursing path, I contemplated nutrition as that was very interesting to me. However as you know, we need to know quite a bit as nurses on that so maybe that's something that can be expounded on if I can get involved in something integrative. I never really thought much about doing personal training. I was completely awed by the work the PT's do though at our rehab hospital that we were fortunate enough to have a rotation through.
Stacy: Oops! Wow, Thank you for enlightening me on research. That does indeed sound like that maybe more of a fit for me eventually. I was told also that around here (mid city not like I'm in the podunks) people haven't been able to make a go of going into research that you have to be in a mega city. I find it hard to believe as I know one of the major hospital systems here is always advertising studies they are doing. They are affiliated to a major University here that is somewhat of a front runner in the medical community so I can't believe there aren't research opportunities. Perhaps I need to investigate this myself somehow instead of just accepting word of mouth. Of course the system I'm referring to has a "dark side" reputation as they took over most of the hospitals not necessarily for the better, but maybe research is a different animal through them.
PurpleScrubs: Thank you! The school atmosphere that you're working for sounds very cool! I love the idea you are using imagery, music etc....that must be extremely rewarding. I will consider that as an option. Perhaps working with children in some capacity down the line is also a strong possibility, as you pointed out they are already on way fewer drugs!
It seems though that school nursing, and home health would require several years of experience to draw on to be successful since you're more or less on your own. And then of course research would require several years more of experience, so I guess I still question what to do between then and now to build that bridge?
Does anyone have an opinion if I must still get hospital experience somewhere no matter, just to be a more well rounded candidate to move on, for example to pursue something in school nursing or home health? Or is it possible to just stay in LTC for a little while a year or so, is that enough to move on to one of the forementioned postions? If not, would maybe getting experience in an Urgicare or some type of clinic be enough or must it be a hospital?
....like I said I do know long term is not for me. But that's all I know. (No I never stepped into LTC before this job, stupid perhaps but like I said I had visions of elders sitting in wheelchairs A+O (not the dementia) or people more on a med/surg level that would move on (we do have some of those) 
I would have never believed that's what it comes down to in LTC but I'm seeing it first hand. 
as they took over most of the hospitals not necessarily for the better, but maybe research is a different animal through them.
sistasoul
724 Posts
I am a second degree new RN also. I have 9 months of experience on a ortho/neuro floor and am disenchanted with nursing. I love the hands on patient care but hate all of the other "stuff" that goes along with it. I don't like the repetetive charting that there is never enough time to do, calling stressed out hospitalists for orders who also do not have enough time, the all time consuming admissions, and the million of other tasks that take you away from the bedside.
I am trying to stick it out for 2 years and than look for some other area of nursing. The stress of hospital care is taking it's toll. It is a shame that it is like this as I really wanted to be a nurse to take care of people. I have found out it is not about the patients but the charting to cover mine and the hospital's a--es.