I'm incredibly stressed and I am going to use this forum as a therapy session.
I'm a 6 year RN, now in Home Health/Hospice. Been here 3 months after a year of bad career decisions with 5 months off due to termination from a management job and a QA job I had to take, which was far and wasn't working, so I applied for my current job and got it.
I used to work ICU and loved it, but long story short, when I had to go back full time, which happened when my husband I separated when our daughter was 6 months old, I hung on for over 2 years, but couldn't anymore due to lack of help and childcare,w hich when I took that stupid management job.
Anways, I was warned I was hired that many people had quite before me due to paperwork. But it was the best fit at the time for my daughter's schedule. Actually a new person quit 2 weeks in. They joke no one makes it barely past 6 months. Well, I have been going insane the past 2 weeks. I am literally waking up way before my daughter to do paperwork, get my daughter ready for camp, bring her, go to the office, make a million phone calls, do a little more paperwork, get on the road, see patients then do paperwork way after hours. I am literally always working. Always. It's me and my supervisor and the boss in the hospice/palliative section. They are killing me with admissions, and I take on the patients no one else wants anymore as the "new girl" my territories are all over.
My apartment is a mess, I am a mess, my patience with my daughter is short, and I have been told I'm not looking well. Not to mention I am battling 2 bulging discs I can even treat and am just making worse and is causing me intense pain. I have had to give up exercise which is my outlet. Oh, and I eat like crap because its always on the go, or I simply do not even have time to do that.
I'm so burnt. I've been crying. I am 32 and feel 60. I want my health back, a life without constant struggle and some ******* help. And yes, this extends beyond my nursing career. But it seriously feel like one of the hardest professions and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I have a lot of stress other areas in my life, that this much in my career is the tip of the iceberg.
But what else am to do? I have to work, and this is my career and source of income. Sometimes I wish I would have been engineers like my friends. They make over 6 figures and barely work. I run my mind and body into the ground for just enough to pay my bills and a few extras.
Sure, I sound ungrateful, I am happy to have income. But crap, it's killing me.
Thanks for letting me let out this long whiny vent. I swear I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Let it out sister!! :hug: It seems like you need a job that's a better fit. I agree with the advice from the other posters! I can tell you're a hard worker and I know you'll find something that works out for you and your family.
Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.
Well let me give you a little bit of hope. It can all be done and done well if you stay in control of the situation. I have raised my daughter all by myself and still doing it. It is essential that you stay in control of your schedule and select employment that allows you also to take care of her. Do you have help? Does your ex have her half the time? What is your schedule like with her? Next your job....one of my jobs is infusion home health..you do get much faster at the paper work. I can whip through it now so fast..I don't even think about it now. The work get easier too. Have you ever though about working one part time and one per diem job. Then you can get your benefits from the part time and the per diem you can add hours as you can and as it suits you. That is how I have made it all work.
SwansonRN
465 Posts
Let it out sister!! :hug: It seems like you need a job that's a better fit. I agree with the advice from the other posters! I can tell you're a hard worker and I know you'll find something that works out for you and your family.