annoying 'friends' in nsg school

chicagoing, ADN, RN · Feb 18, 2011

I am in my last semester of LPN school. I have a friend, that i love dearly, but I am sick of. Last semester, she barely passed. During lecture she sits beside me, texting the whole time, and nudging me asking me to repeat what the instructor just said..which throws me off. We live pretty far away from campus and we commute together, and she is SO slow. I am usually stuck at school an extra hour or two because there's 'stuff she needs to get done.' I don't know how to tell her I don't want to carpool with her anymore. In clinical she is a mess too..she flirts with anything that has a pulse. She doesn't understand the ABC's or prioritizing pt care..no matter how many times I've explained it to her. When she talks to pts, she kind of demeans them..like she makes a joke out of them without realizing it. I've tried to be a good friend and help her out, but I'm done. Whenever she messes up or fails a test, she blames it on the instructors, and sits around and complains instead of doing something about messing up. I feel like I have grown so much over the past few semesters, into a nurse, but she hasn't. help..?

1. She texts instead of paying attention to lecture

2. She needs a summary of the material because she is busy doing #1

3. She takes hours to get "stuff" done when it's time to go home

4. She flirts with anything that has a pulse

5. She doesn't understand the ABCs or prioritizing pt care (probably because she is busy doing #1 and #4)

6. She demeans pts

7. She won't accept responsibility for her own actions (plays the blame game when she doesn't get the exam grade she wants)

Ok, so I gather you and she are not true friends, but why even be acquainted with her? :confused:

What are her redeeming qualities?

And if she's going down, do you want to go down with her?

If I were in your shoes, I'd be (not brutally) honest with her. Tell her it's not working out for you...that you need to be able to stay focused so you can achieve your own goals. Perhaps the two of you can still carpool, but if she is always lollygagging, then maybe you'll just have to go solo.

PghRN30 · Feb 19, 2011

1. txting is her own loss...she misses material and that is probably at least part of why she barely passed last semester. Next time before class starts make a point to tell her "DO NOT ask me questions during class, I am busy paying attention, and you distract me." That she distracts herself to begin with is not your problem. If she trys to after that, just flat out ignore her....do not respond, do not even look at her. She will eventually get the point. If she gets too annoying/distracting before getting the point, move to sit elsewhere where she can not sit by you if it is possible (even if you have to occupy the seat next to you with your bag/books/coat).

2. If you are going to continue to carpool, give her a deadline by when you HAVE to leave by. If she is the one driving and can not respect that, then drive yourself. If you are the one driving, give her the deadline, and then when that time comes tell her "I am leaving NOW, you can come, or find another ride"(though if you alternate and do that, I would plan on driving myself to not get ditched at school out of spite on her driving days)

The rest of the things, don't affect you, so are not your battles to fight. The only other thing that would be worth speaking up about is her being demeaning to patients, because they don't deserve that. But her attitude in general, flirting, diverting blame for her own failures(as well as the attitude toward patients), will not take her far. Even if she passes through to graduate from the program, and passes the boards, coworkers/supervisors will not tolerate or respect that kind of behavior at work.

She will have to grow up sooner or later, but you cant force her to. You can only change yourself and set your boundries. She sounds like someone that you do need to set up boundries with so she does not negatively affect you......You don't need to be distracted during class....set that boundry.....your time is not less valuable then hers...set that boundry.

Nicole74 · Feb 19, 2011

Try telling her that you have to leave by a certain time and you are considering driving because of it. When she asks me to repeat what the instructor said, I probably tell her she needs to stop texting.

She doesn't sound very focused, I'm surprised she is still there.

Good Luck to you.

Stcroix, ASN, PhD, RN · Feb 19, 2011

OP- You've stated your own case- cut the cord and get on with your life.

Tyler77 · Feb 19, 2011

Your "friend" is so not going to make it as a nurse.

lidleanjel · Feb 19, 2011

you see this all the time. you just have to set your own proirities and keep them. dont give in too be nice especially since it wont benefit you. if anything. be brutely honest. they might get mad at you but you have your goals and they are interfering they are not helping you.

i have completely removed myself from numerous fellow students due to these issues, and the most amuzing thing to me is they just dont get it. and sorry but I dont feel sorry for their poor test scores or when they fail out of the class. we are suppose to be adults, not junior highers with lots of drama.

good luck!