Am I supposed to hate my first nursing job??

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I am a new nurse currently about 4 months into my first RN hospital job in an ICU step down unit and I HATE it. I get sick to my stomach going in and honestly would rather work in another unit. I am tied to my unit by my RN residency and the idea of a year or longer in the unit is killing me slowly. I reread my contract and it looks like I could be stuck in my unit until I obtain my BSN which is going to be a little over 2 years from now....and I dont think I can make it. My mom who is a nurse told me eveyone HATES their first nursing job and its just part of it....I have an interview at a different network doing something I think I will like better but if I leave I will have to pay back $4000....I dont know what to do. I know there is a learning curve and its something all new nurse have to adjust to but I just dont know if it is normal to hate what you do and not want to do it?? HELP!

I agree with everyone that the serious anxiety with a first acute care nursing job is pretty common and maybe even normal. I won't tell you what I think you should do but I'll tell you what I wish I had done for myself.

I wish that I had stepped up self care into overdrive.

Things like exercise and really good eating habits, a 30" massage every week or two....things like that.

I wish I had consciously had a meditation/relaxation practice. I wish I had carried on a positive self talk practice while going to work and a debrief after work. Even if it was listening to a motivational speaker on tape kind of thing. I felt new, awkward, anxious, alone.....and I wasn't really in touch with that being normal, not knowing it would pass, wasn't practicing acknowledgement of the positive achievements etc.

I would do those things if I was a new grad again. :)

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.

I think it is natural to be nervous and/or unsure at first- the first year or longer....and your unit is a tough one, so especially so. I sort of liked my first job...but it was tough. In your case, if you have to make it through two years, it doesn't sound like you would make it. Consider all your options and make the one you are most comfortable with.

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Hey there. It's only been four months. You're feeling stressed physically and mentally and that's normal! My nursing professor had said that our first job will not be our favorite lol. I didn't like my first job either but I left after a year and I love my secon one. Stick it out for at least a year, if you can. You will grow more comfortable, things will get easier

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Specializes in Utilization Review.

I don't think you're "supposed" to, but I know I do. I reached my year mark at my job and though I love the people I work with, the job itself is just not what I want to do. But a lot of nurse have to start out somewhere, for most of us, it's not our ideal position or ideal hours, but it pays the student loans. If acuity is what is making you anxious, maybe try a medical-surgical floor. That's what I'm on now, and while it's not what I want to do, some days I get all AOx3 independent patients which can be a blessing (or a curse if they're up at the nurses station bugging me for discharge papers every five minutes).

I hope you find what works for you!

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I am so sorry you are hating your first nursing job! I hope it doesn't discourage you from pursuing your BSN. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but honestly a few friends of mine who just got their first jobs are loving it.

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Specializes in GENERAL.

OP, have you ever noticed that when you are candid about what you describe as having to deal with the insecurities you genuinely feel working the ICU, responders take it as an opportunity to talk about themselves and in doing so often take license to not validate your misgivings and feelings about working

with often times very sick people.

There is not one conscienious nurse yet who doesn't or didn't feel at one point "am I prepared to or qualified for the task at hand." To have feelings of inadequacy is normal. You will learn. It takes time. Seek out mentors to guide you. But self-awareness regarding your weaknesses and strengths is what will make you a good practitioner. Those that don't possess self-reflection hardly ever develop the clinical sort of 6th sense many good nurses have to develop to know when something is not right with their patient. Stick with it. Your desire to be excellent in caring for patients tells me you're the right person for the job and profession.

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Really great advice for all of us!

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So what do you hate about it?

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I'm sorry this is happening to you. I just retired after 37 yrs . I floated to every department but it wasn't until 12 yrs in that I "found" my home in the ER. Sounds like you have a staffing issue with the work load. Please try to find a way to cope and I know you will end up having a long career

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I completely understand. I was in the exact same boat just a year ago. I've been an RN for two years now, but right after I graduated I was accepted into a 2 year CVICU residency program. I was ecstatic! It was my dream. Well, I quickly learned why our hospital had the residency program.... To help keep them staffed with the high turnover rate. They were pumping out 6 new interns every 3 months. I'm sorry but as a new nurse you are NOT ready to care for that acuity level with 12 weeks of training. Yet here I was... Doing it everyday. Responding to codes weekly. I hated going to work. I was worried sick about something happening or me missing something obvious.

I too had a contract, but rather than breaking it, my hospital allowed me to transfer within to a different dept. Best choice I ever made. I transferred to ED, which has its own challenges, but I love it. My short 1 year experience gave me enough common sense on Stemi's, Code Blues, but my job is also mixed with abdominal pains, falls, etc. A great mix and not always high acuity.

I suggest trying to transfer within your hospital if that's an option. I also agree that it naturally gets easier over the first and second year. The other thing is you gotta find the type of nursing you love. I hated CVICU. And I love my new dept & job.

It does infuriorate me that these hospitals use new nurses as interns & offer residencies to take care of the sickest patients. I used to wonder if family members had any idea of my inexperience. I couldn't even put an IV in! I had no business taking care of those people. Our unit was primarily staffed with new RN's. The charge nurses were the experienced ones. Sad. Good luck!

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Specializes in NICU.

I hated my first nursing job as well and only managed to stay about 8 months. I had a sign on bonus I had to pay back but I did it in monthly installments so it wasn't bad.

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I don't know if you are supposed to hate your first nursing job, but I can tell you that I hated mine! I felt as if I had wasted my time and money going through the pain of nursing school. I worked on a telemetry unit that also acted as an Icu step down as well. I can tell you that I would consider the 4K a student loan and move out of there! Find your niche! I started working in the ER and am now a flight nurse and cannot imagine doing anything else! Hang in there...just somewhere else 😉

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