Am I sabotaging my future????

TLC RN · Mar 21, 2005

Thank you for your support...it is what is needed most! As for the med issue.... I do not perceive myself as weak if I am on medication but I am a firm believer that meds are only the temporary solution anyhow, to be combined with counseling and lifestyle changes. The nurse that told me I should not go to nursing school is at my PCP's office. I simply wanted to know if there was anyone they could recommend me to, like a psychiatrist and like any good nurse she asked what was going on. As I explained about how I had finally waited out the list and I was starting school full time at the same exact time my husband was having to leave, and we had to end our lease leaving me with no other option than to go back to my parents...well I got emotional and started crying. She had the nerve to tell me not only was I sick and crazy, but I should NEVER be a nurse, and I need to be checked into a psychiatric hospital! I was LIVID to say the least! It was the most rediculous thing I have ever heard and it put such a bad taste in my mouth that I just can't force myself to go there! There is just such a stigmatism and stereotype of someone who is depressed. I am the FARTHEST thing from suicidal!!!!!!!!!!!! But that's what you get treated like sometimes....and I come from a small small town, there aren't much more options. So I decided to tough it out! May not be the best option, and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, but when I do overcome an obstacle all on my own, it makes me profoundly stronger!

That is just horrible what she said & I feel bad she said that too you. She is the one with a major problem!

I can see how one can say meds are only a temporary solution. But keep in mind they may help right now. I used them at one point that was very difficult for me. I was also in therapy at the time. What the meds did for me was lift me out of the deep depressive mood and with the therapy I was able to get to a point that I was not so down. I eventually went off the meds and have not needed to go to therapy. I never thought the meds would work, but they really helped to lift the fog so I could focus on the issues to really address the depression.

Can you go to the PCP and talk to the provider him/herself and not the nurse about your issues? Or try a counseling center/health center at school? You gotta take care of yourself :) & please know we are all here to support you!

PS - I thought the same thing about toughing it out and in hindsight, I realized that even thought I used the meds, I was still the one working on my problems. The other thing about the meds is they allowed me to do so much more in solving my problems. It was like I could deal with stuff much more efficiently. Looking back, it would have probably taken me 3-4 years to accomplish what I did without meds but on the meds in only took a year and a half.

Lawnurse · Mar 21, 2005

taking a break from my paper to throw in my 2 cents. :)

Meds are sometimes a temporary solution, but not always. For me they are a long-term solution. I have had years of therapy and currently my psychiatrist is in agreement with me that talk therapy is not a worthwhile use of my time. Unlike some people dealing with depression, I do not have aggravating factors in my life - behavioral changes are not what I need. My family and significant other are supportive, and I have a good job waiting for me after I graduate.

However, I frequently feel depressed despite all the good things in my life - that is what makes it clinical depression instead of a true reaction to my life situation.

I've been taking meds - different meds at different times - for almost 7 years now. When I miss a dose, I can feel the difference a few days later, even after I've forgetten that I missed a dose. With lexapro, I was able to feel the exact moment that the drug started working 3 days after I first took it (and what a great moment).

For me simple brain chemistry is what keeps me in the realm of depression instead of the realm of the non-depressed people. I can't will my brain chemistry to change anymore than I can will my heart to stop or my blood to reverse directions in my circulatory system.

Its likely I will take meds for depression in some form for the rest of my life. The only problem I have with this is that I will need to forgo or change my meds during pregnancy and breastfeeding (still many years off in my case). I am very greatful that modern medicine allows me to join the realm of the non-depressed (for most of the time). Depression truly is a disease. Insulin and betablockers are temporary solutions to diabetes or heart trouble - and for me, antidepressants aren't just a temporary solution to depression.

p.s. It would be great one day if I actually stop needing the meds. They are expensive and do have side effects. However, given my personal history with the disease, I don't imagine this will happen.

Okay! back to the paper.... :uhoh21: