Am I gonna lose my first nursing job?

atlanta · Jul 25, 2005

I am actually asking myself now if nursing is for me. I don't think bedside nursing is for me, if this is the case is there any nursing job out there that I can do without doing bedside?????

Few of my previous classmate started with insurance company.... I think things might be better when you begin to familiar with the jobs for 6 months.

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jul 25, 2005

Oh my.

TIME, TIME, TIME is what you need, and do NOT condemn yourself so soon, please!!!

What you are feeling is no different than what the majority of new nurses feel.. it IS scary.. it IS overwhelming, and a good preceptor is worth his/her weight in gold !

Some ppl get very nervous with someone watching over their shoulder.. these "being watched" nerves can rattle you into not being able to figure out a simple dosage calc.. one that you could so easily perform at any other time.

Please give yourself time... it takes time, practice, experience (comes with TIME) and a pat on your shoulder from YOURSELF every now and then for the progresses you ARE making.

Be kind to yourself.. you WILL get there, and I would press for getting that older "slower" nurse who takes her time and shows you patience in explaining things. Some of us take longer than others to digest things.. for it to "click"

Makes you no smaller a nurse.. we all learn at a different pace.. at least you recognize yours and aren't willing to say "I get it" when you really don't.

Now there's something you can ALREADY give yourself credit for ! See?

You're going to be fine.. hang in there. It'll come. (((HUGS)))

mye614 · Jul 26, 2005

:crying2:

Oh my.
TIME, TIME, TIME is what you need, and do NOT condemn yourself so soon, please!!!
What you are feeling is no different than what the majority of new nurses feel.. it IS scary.. it IS overwhelming, and a good preceptor is worth his/her weight in gold !
Some ppl get very nervous with someone watching over their shoulder.. these "being watched" nerves can rattle you into not being able to figure out a simple dosage calc.. one that you could so easily perform at any other time.
Please give yourself time... it takes time, practice, experience (comes with TIME) and a pat on your shoulder from YOURSELF every now and then for the progresses you ARE making.
Be kind to yourself.. you WILL get there, and I would press for getting that older "slower" nurse who takes her time and shows you patience in explaining things. Some of us take longer than others to digest things.. for it to "click"
Makes you no smaller a nurse.. we all learn at a different pace.. at least you recognize yours and aren't willing to say "I get it" when you really don't.
Now there's something you can ALREADY give yourself credit for ! See?
You're going to be fine.. hang in there. It'll come. (((HUGS)))

Thanks, Jnette!

Reading your reply brought some tears in my eyes. It felt like you were standing right there infront of me. I guess that's what I need right now, someone whoe understands and knows where I'm coming from. I actually have a night scheduled with this older nurse and if things go well I will press that I get my orientation with her. I really become a nervous wreck when someone is watching over my shoulder when I'm doing something. I can't learn that way, I;m the type of person that has to absorb things first, and I'm better at doing things alone without worrying that someone is watching over my shoulders.

Thank you............... :crying2:

psalm, RN · Jul 26, 2005

Thanks, Jnette!
Reading your reply brought some tears in my eyes. It felt like you were standing right there infront of me. I guess that's what I need right now, someone whoe understands and knows where I'm coming from. I actually have a night scheduled with this older nurse and if things go well I will press that I get my orientation with her. I really become a nervous wreck when someone is watching over my shoulder when I'm doing something. I can't learn that way, I;m the type of person that has to absorb things first, and I'm better at doing things alone without worrying that someone is watching over my shoulders.
Thank you...............

...I too, suffer from "performance anxiety", not so much now, but in clinicals and as a new nurse it was awful :uhoh3: Seems like some folks see that as a sign of weakness, having to absorb things first. You sound like you have the makings of a Great nurse. As others have said, give yourself time. In a few months, you will be doing things so automatically.

...most important thing to remember is not to compromise pt. care. I had a pt who needed an NG tube, and I've never inserted one! So I asked an experienced nurse to stay with me, while I did it...which is usually opposite of what I would have done.

...take care,

jackie53

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2005

Please don't be such a harsh critic of yourself after only three days.

You're doing much better than you think. Sit back and take a positive inventory after about three months.

Good luck.

(((Jnette)))) Compassionate advice as always. :)

LydiaNN · Jul 26, 2005

If hospitals were in the habit of dismissing every new nurse who was nervous and needed time to digest things, there'd be no staffing shortage, there'd just be no staff, period.

Someday-C.R.N.A. · Jul 26, 2005

I'm not in nursing yet, but I am in a profession where life and death is very much on the line. I work in a steel mill. (Until I'm done with school).

The deal is this - I have been in my job for a while now. I have trained plenty of people, and watched plenty of people train others.

Being one of the (now) senior trainers in my department, I've learned a few things. One of the most (IMO) important things I've learned is that everybody learns at a different rate, and in a different way. When I train, I try to 'read' the trainee, and customize my training technique as I go along, depending on how things are going. I also try to ask my trainee what is unclear, what I can help further with, etc. I make VERY sure that my trainee knows the basics - safety stuff, etc. and make sure that the trainee is perfectly comfortable asking me ANYTHING. I use my seniority and experience as a buffer for any newcomer who shows some potential. ("Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it").

I know I don't have my "license" on the line when I encounter a newbie...MY LIFE is on the line.

THE POINT TO THE OP.............Please, try to slow your current trainer down a bit. Do the best you can, and be very frank with your trainer. Often, people who have been in the job for a while forget what it's like to be new. That, or they have had to "train" a hundred losers who had no drive, no desire. (That gets real old, real quick - trust me).

Remember that while you may be insecure about your ability as a trainee, your trainer may very well be just as insecure about their ability to train.

Be up front. Be honest. LEARN.

Best of Luck.

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jul 26, 2005

Thanks, Jnette!
Reading your reply brought some tears in my eyes. It felt like you were standing right there infront of me. I guess that's what I need right now, someone whoe understands and knows where I'm coming from. I actually have a night scheduled with this older nurse and if things go well I will press that I get my orientation with her. I really become a nervous wreck when someone is watching over my shoulder when I'm doing something. I can't learn that way, I;m the type of person that has to absorb things first, and I'm better at doing things alone without worrying that someone is watching over my shoulders.
Thank you...............

You are MORE than welcome, mye. :)

I HAD to respond, because I can relate only too well. I, too, am one who has to first digest, then totally ABSORB what I am learning or else it just doesn't "stick", nor do I completely understand it. And if I don't understand it, then I can't retain it. One of the reason I chose distance learning.. I was able to go at my own pace, take all the time I wanted or needed , without being subjected to the eyerolling and criticizm of others. I KNEW when I understood it, and only then would I move on to the next chapter or course.

And I, too, have a serious problem with being "on the spot" when I know others are "expecting" me to "know my stuff". And even though I KNOW it through and through, just having someone wait, or look, or watch under that kind of pressure is enough for me to draw a complete BLANK... and that makes things even far worse.. then I really lock up !!! It is sooooooooooooooo humiliating ! :uhoh21:

I've been a nurse for three years now, and still when I find myself in the med room with my colleagues, and IF I allow myself to even IMAGINE they are "watching" me, I freeze and my mind gets all fuzzy. Odd, the games the mind can play with our emotions.

What's more odd, is that when I am showing some ELSE how to do something, I don't get that feeling at all. I would LOVE to precept.

I don't have "performance anxiety".. God knows I'm a total clown and can get up on a stage in a heartbeat and love every minute of it.. same with public speaking... no problem.. love it.

But when you're new, and your mind whispers these terrifying things in your ear, and you feel you MUST show competence, because you're being "evaluated".. it just throws things into a whole different category. A sickening feeling. :stone

Know that you are NOT alone in this, and that it DOES pass... at least until the NEXT time you're learning something new.. heh.

But as you practice these things, you will gain confidence in yourself, and THAT in itself, is selfmotivating.

Don't let anyone rush you. Do not be satisfied with anything less than full comprehension, for that is the only way you'll retain anything, and it improves your performance as well.

Yes, I certainly would press once agin for the other preceptor, and explain (unapologetically) why. After all, they want you to be a safe and competent nurse, right? Then they should give you what you need to be just that. No shortcuts.

Wish you the best, and do keep us posted on your progress, ok? :icon_hug:

mye614 · Jul 26, 2005

Thank you all so much for the great replies. I start work again tomorrow and I will keep in mind what you all have posted here. I need to keep telling myself that " I do not know everything and it's alright to ask questions". I guess my biggest fear is being labeled as "DUMB". I just hope that the hospital I work at be patient with me and guide me to the right direction in improving my confidence and skills. It scares me thinking that I have to be at work again tomorrow. I will take my time and I'd rather work slowly than make mistakes that may create harm to my patients and myself. :icon_hug:

justmanda · Jul 27, 2005

I am very frustrated and I feel really dumb I have been orienting in tele unit for 3 days now and I feel like I am not grasping anything at work. My preceptor is very good, so good that I feel intimidated. But I feel like she's not the right preceptor for me. She's too fast for me and she scares me big time! She's very nice though. There's one older nurse on the floor that I got to observed during one of my nights and I think she's better precepting me. She's slow but thorough and I can see myself in her. I have brought this up to my assistant director but she thinks this older nurse is not the right person to precept me because of her slowness. Last night I got sick at work so they sent me home but I'm so worried that they might think I am not what they;re looking for. The problem is, I'm a new grad with no previous nursing experience but nursing school. I get so scared and nervous at work that my critical thinking is so low ( I can't even do simple doasge calculation...even my preceptor said "ITS NOT A ROCKET SCIENCE TO FIGURE IT OUT"....). The paperwork is overwhelming.........Arghhhhhhhhh :angryfire :uhoh21: I am so lost and confused and scared. I am actually asking myself now if nursing is for me. I don't think bedside nursing is for me, if this is the case is there any nursing job out there that I can do without doing bedside?????

We ALL felt like this when we first became nurses. In fact, I'm sure most of us would be that way again if we went into a new area...like from floor nursing to OR. Unfortunately, it's just what you have to go through before you become independent in your job. When I first became a nurse, I just worked Friday and Saturday nights. I, like you, felt like an incompetent boob. But then I said to myself, "Well, I'm only an incompetent boob two days a week". So, for the majority of my week (even if it was off duty), I lived a productive and competent life. The moral of the story, don't let your anxiety spill over into your personal life or you will spend the better part of your time off worrying about your next shift. You've only been on the floor for 3 days, for goodness sake! It's also hard when you are under a preceptor because you are having to subscribe to her organizational rituals...which may not work for you. When you are on your own, you can manage your time in a way that suits you. Be patient with yourself. You can do it!!!

Stella-Ohio · Jul 27, 2005

I am very frustrated and I feel really dumb I have been orienting in tele unit for 3 days now and I feel like I am not grasping anything at work. My preceptor is very good, so good that I feel intimidated. But I feel like she's not the right preceptor for me. She's too fast for me and she scares me big time! She's very nice though. There's one older nurse on the floor that I got to observed during one of my nights and I think she's better precepting me. She's slow but thorough and I can see myself in her. I have brought this up to my assistant director but she thinks this older nurse is not the right person to precept me because of her slowness. Last night I got sick at work so they sent me home but I'm so worried that they might think I am not what they;re looking for. The problem is, I'm a new grad with no previous nursing experience but nursing school. I get so scared and nervous at work that my critical thinking is so low ( I can't even do simple doasge calculation...even my preceptor said "ITS NOT A ROCKET SCIENCE TO FIGURE IT OUT"....). The paperwork is overwhelming.........Arghhhhhhhhh :angryfire :uhoh21: I am so lost and confused and scared. I am actually asking myself now if nursing is for me. I don't think bedside nursing is for me, if this is the case is there any nursing job out there that I can do without doing bedside?????

I'm certain that this situation has resolved itself and that you could probably contribute to the experience now looking back a few months. I am writing this reply as I am really nervous about orientation even though I am told repeatedly I am doing well. I also figure many new nurses may stumble on this post and gain some insight.

My nursing school was one that thought their position was (and stated it clearly) to flush out students. They tried many ways and succeeded often at flushing out girls who really had a grip on the material and patient care.

I had to remind myself the night before my orientation that this is simply not the goal of the preceptor. She is there to help me adjust to my new position not try and fail me. She has been all of that and more. Yes she will correct anything that she thinks could have been done differently and helps me prioritize etc. It sometimes takes a moment for me to realize that it is my reception of any suggestion that feels critical but in fact she really is using her experience to offer suggestions to me.

Personalities will be what they are. Perhaps a 'like' preceptor is not what is best for some because you already know how to be the way you are, the key is learning a variety of options (ie..... a different type of person as your preceptor) and you will learn other ways of doing/or not doing certain tasks to your likes and abilities. My preceptor and I get along fine at work but will never be 'friends' away from work but that doesn't mean I'm not learning a lot from her.