Advice please

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I occasionally work with a male client that has had inappropriate behavior in the past. The issue was addressed and has stopped but it was discovered my last time there that they are watching Media while I (and possibly others) are there. I discovered this because they were on their personal computer and it wouldn't allow them to turn off the sound while watching a video. I, personally find this very uncomfortable and wonder what advice other female nurses may have in regards to this situation. How and what have you done to deal with these and other situations in your own jobs?

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I would be uncomfortable too, also concerned with he being sexually stimulated while you are in the home. I would probably speak to him, be honest about it, and state your case. Take it from there... I don't have personal experience with this, but am outspoken and open minded, that's my two cents worth! Good luck.

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This exact thing happened to a friend and she wasn't sure how to handle it. Her supervisor called the patient and told him the TV and computer were to be turned off during the nurse and aide visits and he was to behave appropriately at all times. My friend was told to pack up and leave if they turned on the TV or computer while she was there.

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Admittedly I'm a dude, so I can't totally relate. But it seems to me if they aren't touching YOU inappropriately, then it is none of your business. I mean, you are seeing SICK people right? Maybe they are just a jerk and act like this all the time. maybe they have mental issue that causes them to make poor decisions including not taking their insulin and watching Media in polite company. Maybe they are confused r/t hyperglycemia and don't realize they left their computer on when you came in. I see little old ladies that treat me like their high school sweet heart all the time. It would make me uncomfortable if i thought it had ANYTHING to do with me.

Our job as nurses is not to judge. But you do have some assessment data here. some people treat Media like and alcoholic treat ETOH. So maybe you can Dx inappropriate coping; impaired adjustment; Fear; dysfunctional greiving; Rape-trauma syndrome; chronc-low self esteem; spiritual distress; impaired decision making.

I do not mean to minimize your discomfort, but nursing is not always comfortable. It really bothers me when i see nurses separate a person's physical well being from that of their social or mental well being. ESPECIALY in home health. we should be treating people holistically.

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Admittedly I'm a dude, so I can't totally relate. But it seems to me if they aren't touching YOU inappropriately, then it is none of your business. I mean, you are seeing SICK people right? Maybe they are just a jerk and act like this all the time. maybe they have mental issue that causes them to make poor decisions including not taking their insulin and watching Media in polite company. Maybe they are confused r/t hyperglycemia and don't realize they left their computer on when you came in. I see little old ladies that treat me like their high school sweet heart all the time. It would make me uncomfortable if i thought it had ANYTHING to do with me.

Our job as nurses is not to judge. But you do have some assessment data here. some people treat Media like and alcoholic treat ETOH. So maybe you can Dx inappropriate coping; impaired adjustment; Fear; dysfunctional greiving; Rape-trauma syndrome; chronc-low self esteem; spiritual distress; impaired decision making.

I do not mean to minimize your discomfort, but nursing is not always comfortable. It really bothers me when i see nurses separate a person's physical well being from that of their social or mental well being. ESPECIALY in home health. we should be treating people holistically.

However, there is no reason in the world that Media needs to be playing while a nurse or aide are visiting. You can definitely call it impaired judgement which obviously says its not appropriate. Being too hot in someone's house is an accepted uncomfortableness (iPad thinks that is a word) but Media is not. Nurses have the right to be safe.

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Specializes in Oncology, Med-Surg.

Personally, i have just ignored it. Disabled, sick people have limited options and limited venues for entertainment.

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I would refuse to see this patient. I do not have to go where I feel unsafe. The end.

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I am not sure i understand. Why is this a safety issue? Also, What sort of visit is this? Are you doing a 12 hour shift or is it just a quick assessment and teaching?

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I am not sure i understand. Why is this a safety issue? Also, What sort of visit is this? Are you doing a 12 hour shift or is it just a quick assessment and teaching?

Very observant of you. Visit or shift? And even if either, ignore it, perhaps? It is his house (hers). Interesting concept all around, though. I've been in such nasty and unholy circumstances that even a television would indicate a certain level of higher society- no matter what was on it.

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I go to the home for a shift (8 hours), and although this person has nursing, the nurses aren't there 24 hours a day. They are completely alert and oriented and there has been other inappropriate behavior in the past, like I mentioned above, that my supervisor has had to address (not just with me, but with many nurses). I don't believe it is a safety issue, I just feel incredibly uncomfortable being in this kind of situation. If they were confused I would dismiss it. I have had uncomfortable and inappropriate things happen with patients who are confused, and in that situation I can easily dismiss it. I would also like to add that inappropriate behavior doesn't stop at just touching a person. We, as nurses, do have to deal with uncomfortable situations at times, but there is a line to be drawn. I worked at one facility when I first started as a nurse where they had male aids bathe a client because of their inappropriate behavior (and this person wasn't even completely oriented).

I decided to contact my supervisor and notify them of what happened. They felt it was inappropriate while nurses were present as well.

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well, this reminds me of my brief stay at a nursing home when a patient who was paying ~$350/day to stay there was peeing in his sink. No UTI, so this was sterile, if distasteful procedure. Many of my co-workers were disgusted and screamed "this has to stop!" But to be honest, I had only STOPPED peeing in the sink at home recently because my fiance had moved in with me. It just made more sense to me to save water and toilet paper and not have bend over to wipe up the seat when i missed all the time. I didn't think it was any damn business of ours to tell this guy to... what? sit down and get up every time he peed? bend over to wipe the seat? maybe eye sight is an issue for him, maybe fine muscle control it aiming. as a 20 something who would rather pee in the sink i TOTALLY understood an 80 something wanting to do the same. AND he was paying a lot more rent for the privilige.

From the way you tell your story, it sound like you have an adult male who is in a tough spot physically, but is still mentally and sexually active. It also sounds like he was trying to hide it, since you only knew about it from the sound. He has a nurse there for 1/3 of the day. he sleeps 1/3 of the day. who knows what is going on during the other 8 hours but i bet it's tough for him to get his ADL/IADLs done in a timely fashion when he is alone. So when IS he supposed to watch his Media? He isn't a teenager trying to squeeze one off in the bathroom of a crowded house. He is a grown man who is probably used to being independent most of his life and your job is to facilitate his ability to live as normal of a life as he can, which for most adult males means, having private time at least once a day. As for interventions I would suggest: he can totally turn the sound off in three different ways, but a better solution might be to supply him with some head phones - $5 - $20, or i bet you have some free ones that came with your last Ipod. also, if you "happen" to conviently place a garbage can and tissue by the side of his bed along with other garbage to discretly wrap the tissue in, I bet he'd like that. I doubt he is looking to advertise his "dirty" little secret.

Look at it from his perspective: what if your neighbor knocked on your door and complained about you and your partner? It would be pretty embarrassing, and if you had no other option you'd feel pretty powerless, hopeless, and like a bad person. seems to me like having you manager lecture him about good behavior is only increasing stress which will negatively impact patient outcomes.

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LOL. Have you been watching The Daily Show/Colbert Report lately? When they talk about gay marriage they say "the pro marriage people argue da-da-da-da-da, this-and-that, but the anti-mariage have an equally strong argument of 'eww, dudes making out are gross'"

sound familiar?

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