I have a few weeks till the end of my orientation. I am a freshly graduated nurse who is working on the ICU. I really like my unit and finds the staff really helpful and really to help me learn new things. The past few weeks have been pretty bad especially last week. It was the busiest week for me and the unit in general especially with everything picking back up. I had a few transfers and keep getting new admissions. I made some mistakes or did not catch on to certain things, so my preceptor had to correct me. I learn from them and know better now. My confidence was slowly being built and I thought I was doing okay. I do forget to do certain things, but I am honest about it when my preceptor ask. I knew that I had things to work on, but didn't know it was that bad.
I had my first meeting in regards to my orientation and it went really bad. They were saying that they felt I might not be the best fit for the unit and I really need to prove myself. They said that I seem unsure when I am talking to doctors and seem like I don't know anything about my patients. I have horrible time with rounds and talking to doctors in general. I am a pretty shy person who, which as my username implies, lacks confidence in general with myself due to years of just being talked down to all my life by everyone even my loved ones. When I am questioned, I blank out even when I know my material. I am trying to improve myself as best as I can and trying to review my material. They say I lack critical thinking and don't understand why the other new orienteers are doing better and why I am struggling. (the other orienteers have experience either as a nurse or a PCT on the unit). I have a heavy accent as well as English is not my first language. I was told to learn how to talk especially with my pronunciation with the drugs.
I am trying really hard now to review and to somehow build more confidence in myself in the next few days that I am off. I am writing different words down, looking up their pronunciation and repeating them to myself. I plan to come even earlier than I have been to look up patients' charts. However, I would admit the meeting really made me lost the little confidence that was slowly being built. I feel so overwhelmed and don't want to lose my job. I really love nursing and the patients in general, so I want to be able to improve myself as best as I can to show that I really do want to be here and be able to perform at the level they want me to. I could really use some advice on what I can do to improve myself and tips. Thank you.
That is great! I hope you continue to improve and excel. Remember, you are NEVER alone in a hospital. Your responsibility will be greater, yes, but learn who your real resources are. And when you are able, help out in return - that goes a long way toward building a solid team. Best of luck!!
Hi, just an update for all you guys for commented and showed me your kindness and support! The end of my orientation just came about and I was offered to stay in my position! My manager and educator met up with me today on my last day of orientation and told me that I really improved my game and really showed that I can handle being on the ICU. They told me though I did struggle, I really brought it to their attention that I can do this and it was not a mistake to bring me into the unit. I am scared of starting my first week by myself next week, but this really help me gain a tiny bit more confidence that they said all that. I thank you for all your support and comments and wanted to update you guys! Thank you!
I'm really glad to hear that! I still think they handled your orientation and communication about your progress extremely poorly. If they're going to hire new grads into the ICU, they need to have better support for you in place, and the comments they made about your accent are offensive at best. Keep your chin up and keep proving them wrong.
Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
Congrats! Also they're lucky you didn't complain to HR about being criticized for your accent and told to "learn how to talk"... clear example of discrimination =/
Lunah, MSN, RN
14 Articles; 13,773 Posts
That is great! I hope you continue to improve and excel. Remember, you are NEVER alone in a hospital. Your responsibility will be greater, yes, but learn who your real resources are. And when you are able, help out in return - that goes a long way toward building a solid team. Best of luck!!