Hi everyone,I'm currently a nursing student in her first semester. Right now, I'm thinking I hate nursing because I didn't know what I got myself into/what nurses really did until I started clinical. I'm on a med/surg floor and even though I know I'm only a student there to learn, I am constantly overwhelmed and can't help it. I've spoken to my instructors and classmates for tips but once I get home, I just want to forget about clinical. To further explain what I don't like, I really don't like how sad it makes me being on the floor. I've never had anyone close to me die before, so I'm terrified of death and seeing patients so sick. I guess it doesn't help that my instructor assigns us the sickest patients so that's all I really see. I'm afraid to try simple things like giving baths and ambulating patients because I'm afraid I'll hurt them or I don't know how even though I was already taught. I seem to forget or don't understand a lot of the simple skills until I try it hands on multiple times. Is there anyone like me who just takes a really long time to get used to/learn things? It seems like my classmates can pick things up quickly whereas I learn by continuous repetition. This doesn't help because nursing school is such a fast environment with not a lot of time to practice with my instructors, so you can imagine how overwhelmed/stupid I constantly feel. Before I decide to throw in the towel because I don't want to waste any more money on tuition, I just wanted to ask for reassurance from nurses with experience that this is normal. Also, I was wondering if you all have ideas of a nursing speciality I may have an interest in so that I have motivation to keep going with my program. Some things about me:
Also another thing I've thought about is going outpatient right out of school. I don't want this to be something I regret because I never had hospital experience. However, have any of you started in outpatient and never felt like you missed out on anything? I also thought about school nursing (once I pay off my student loans of course :)). Thanks so much for taking the time reading this and helping me out!