Advice needed for coping with death

suzanne4, RN · May 8, 2005

This is something that we all have to deal with at one time or another..Depending on the type of unit, it can be more times than we care to even think about.

Can't say that it will ever get easier......we are quite caring to begin with, this is why we went into the profession, or at least I hope so.....

Is there someone at your facility that you can speak with?

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 8, 2005

It's just like anything else.......you'll get better at dealing with patient deaths with time and experience.

In order to answer your question better, I'd need to know a few specifics, e.g., what part of the process makes you uncomfortable? Is it the actual death, or handling the body and preparing it for transfer to the morgue? I know the postmortem 'cleanup' isn't particularly pleasant, but it helps to think of it as the last kindness you can perform for the patient and to do as good a job as possible. If you're a spiritual person and you need comfort when a patient dies, by all means feel free to pray for him, his family, even yourself (athough you'd probably want to do this in private).

In any case, you'll want to remember that the patient is still a human being, and to handle his body with as much care and respect as if he were still alive.

Hope this helps a bit. :)

Liddle Noodnik · May 8, 2005

I'm a nursing student currently working as an aid in a hospital. Often while I work, patients die. The problem is that I'm a bit uncomfortable handling the body. Me and a nurse have to wrap the body and I have to go to the morgue, which isn't easy for me. Can anyone give me advices on how to handle the situation in a better way?

One thing I do, as I am preparing the body, I am kind of praying at the same time - safe journey, peace to his/her loved ones. I treat the person with the same respect as if they were alive - gentle, compassionate care.

If it's a patient that I knew, I remember conversations and their concerns. I picture their body young and strong - having served them well.

It is the ultimate trust for someone to leave their body behind if you think of it. No one would know if it was harmed. So I am very respectful of that trust.

It will get easier. Meanwhile talking as you are will really help you get thru whatever the uncomfortable feeling is. Take care, and I imagine every person goes through what you are going through.

talaxandra · May 8, 2005

I think there's something sacred about deathwork - apart from family, there's nobody else who will interact with the patient as a person. Funeral directors, for example, refer to the deceased with depersonalise and inanimate phrases ("the box", "the body").

I believe that being involved with peri- and post mortem care is one of the priviledges of my job, the last service I can perform for those in my care.

That said, I appreciate that the same is not true for all of my colleagues, and I know that some actively dislike it. I think, as is so often the case, Marla's right - can you isolate what aspect/s of deathwork disturb you?