Adoption

pharmgirl · Jun 25, 2010

I wouldve loved to have something from my birth family. I'm not involved in an open adoption in fact my adoption records are sealed by the state. I have had a few life threatening medical scares and can tell you that I wish I had known if there was some kind of history on my birth family side. Since you will be having an open adoption there will be plenty of time to update medical records as things arise. A lot of times, young women don't have a medical history at birth but later in life develop them, this information tends to be lost for the adoptee. So please make sure to always update medical records, even further years down the road

jkaee · Jun 25, 2010

Wow thanks to all the support!! It reassuring to hear others say how awsome adoption is. Yes, I will be doing an open adoption. I am currently (trying lol) to cross stitch a blanket for the baby, I can't say it is going to be the prettiest thing in the world but I hope it will mean something to the child as he/she gets older. I also plan (if the parents agree) to give the child a box with a letter to the child and pictures of me while pregnant and pictures of my family so the child will know what his/her relatives look like. Do you who have been adopted think you would have liked to have these things??
I have been going to a pregnancy counseling center and talking with an "advocate" about the whole situation since I found out I was pregnant. I have talked it over with her and I think it would be best for me to spend as much time as I can with the baby while in the hospital. I just wasn't sure if the L and D unit would be flexible with the extra people as there would be two sets of families coming to visit. I know from working in a hospital it is a pain to have to be in the middle of family afairs.
Again thank you all for the support it means a lot!

Wow, this sure brings me back....

I gave a baby up for adoption almost 18 years ago. Like you, I wanted to stay with my baby until the very last minute. The hospital staff was more than happy to help me with that. They even went out of their way to make sure I didn't get a roommate (back in the day of semi-private PP rooms). I didn't have an open adoption, in fact, her parents didn't know they were proud parents of a baby girl until after she was born. I always cherished those memories of having that time with her in the hospital. I think that it's a very important step in the whole process.

I also cross-stitched a blanket for my daughter, as well as wrote her a letter for her to read when she got older.

I got occasional pictures of her until she was about 9 months old. I did meet her parents a few weeks after she was born. I signed over my rights when she was about 2 months old. I had just moved away to college.

Let me be completely honest with you....this will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do. I cried every day for 3 months after she was born. I still get emotional when I think back to that time, but I have NEVER regretted my decision. In a few weeks, my records will be open to her, and if she chooses to contact me, that's fine. It will also be fine if she chooses not to.

Please, please PM me if you need someone to talk to who has been through it. It was the best thing I've ever done, but also the hardest, and no one quite understands what it's like to do something like give a baby up for adoption. I'm here for you if you need me! ((hugs))

CEG · Jun 25, 2010

This is a very lucky baby:)

We recently had a situation on our unit where the nurse did not honor the birth mother's wishes in a certain choice. It wasn't because she didn't want to but because she thought she couldn't (long, involved story). We didn't know about it until she was almost ready to leave. She shouldn't have had to speak up, but if she had we could have fixed the problem. So should anyone not honor your wishes in any way, ask to speak with the manager immediately. Despite the fact that this happened on our unit, everyone there has a special place in their heart for helping moms who make this difficult but amazing choice and would go out of their way to be kind. I'm sure most units are the same way. You will remember these moments for the rest of your life so don't hesitate to make them happen in the way you need them to.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Jun 27, 2010

Our place is much like what's already been described. Birth mothers are allowed as little or as much contact with their babies as they'd like, and adoptive families are also involved as much as desired by them and the birth mother if they are there at the time.

That you have put a great deal of thought and care into your decision is obvious, and I can't say enough what a wonderful mother you already are. :redbeathe

I know you are writing a letter, but I want to encourage you, while you are with your baby in the hospital, to tell him whatever it is you want him to know about yourself, how you feel about him/her, or what you want for him. Your voice will be one of the sounds your baby is most familiar with; and, this may sound like I'm out in left field, but I truly believe that whatever loving, nurturing things you say to him will somehow permanently imprint themselves on his soul.

Thank you so much for what you're doing. :redbeathe

rn/writer, RN · Jun 27, 2010

I also believe that your baby's spirit will receive your words and your affection. Unlike our minds which have to grow, our spirits are ageless. Your child will hear your love and acceptance on some level and feel welcomed into life.

Gabby_101, BSN · Jun 29, 2010

Just wanted to thank you all again for all the support!! You all have no idea how much it can mean to a girl!! I will keep all of you in mind who welcomed me to PM you. I'm sure as time goes on I will have more questions and support. Thanks again to all of ya!!!