accepted to nursing school after deciding to finalize divorce

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I dont want to make it a sob story. This has been an ongoing thing. Getting married, years later separate. Get back together. Filed for divorce. Got back together with marriage counseling and now a week ago, husband out of no where cries out finalizing after a grouchy fit of what i was assuming needing a cigarette. He was trying to quit smoking. Theres other issues i wont get into. I think we both have disengaged ourselves from each other. Most of me knows its best to separate. I want nothing materialistic from the marriage, just my babies. But being accepted into nursing school, after putting it off for 5 years to be mom and wife, doesnt seem as...happy? Im excited! And i love my kids for being so patient with me when i may need to focus on school and this will be a great start to a horrible ending, but i cant help but to feel like im the only one going through this. And after valentines day, im pretty convinced i am haha. I know im not but i feel alone. I felt it would be better to vent here than facebook, and i dont have friends physically to call, somehow getting married weaved out all my friends. Thank you though for reading if you did :) i just had to get it out somehow.

Specializes in home health.

Yes! I have had similar battles, "Have you not noticed id rather be at work" i would say, "ive noticed i would prefer you to be at work, does that count". That was my break. I even slept on the couch. I would try to sleep in the bed and i just wasnt comfortable. Ugh. I hope to find myself at peace like you. I tell others that are single moms or separated, going through divorce, etc., itll be alright, youll be so much happier and i "know" the advice i give isnt misleading, yet i cant do the same for myself when im sitting here by myself, i just wonder off on things in my head. I sure cant wait to start nursing school, now to get through this semester. It has taken a hit with everything being a yo yo. Thank you GrnTea, youve been amazing :)

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Matthew 19:26 inspires me, maybe it will inspire you as well....

Jesus says - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"

Stay strong, keep in faith, God never steers us to a problem or obstacle we can't overcome.

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Specializes in home health.

Thank you DadStudentPerhaps, i just wrote that down to see everyday :smug:

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Specializes in ICU.

I wasn't allowed to have a job or go to school. I slept on the couch almost every night. My ex wanted a maid, not a partner in life. I grew to resent him so much. I dreaded my phone ringing and him coming home from work. It's funny but it's so nice to come home from school and relax. Or clean my house for me. Not for my ex because he expected a spotless house. I just enjoy the little things so much more now. I now have a budding relationship with someone who supports me completely. We started as friends, now it's turning into something more. I'm enjoying dating again. Somewhere down the road I may get into a relationship again, but just having fun being me again. And not focusing my whole life on someone who will never be happy with me.

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Specializes in home health.

Im sorry you went through it too. Same here. Going to school made him lash out over everything that "wasnt getting done" so i totally understand. Im so glad yall responded. Cause of course his family acts like im the bad guy, i always leave. He makes it seem like i leave everytime we argue, what he leaves out is its everyday and usually over the dumbest stuff. Our last argument before he wanted to finalize was the way i made chicken and dumplings..i added vegetables. haha. I took them out (yes i spooned them out) and put them in a separate pot, then got into an argument over messing up too many pots. Why do i feel sad for leaving!!? Im so glad you and GrnTea found happiness. I too wont be looking to get into anything serious for awhile, i amctually terrified of that thought. But thank you as well, yall have been amazing support thus far in a day than ive had in 5 years. :)

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Specializes in home health.

I left out he didnt want the vegetable in the chicken and dumplings, he wanted them separate..ugh...seriously cant wait to start the next chapter of our lives. I just hope the babies dont caught in the middle. I hope they see us as two happy people who arent fighting anymore

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I will know within 2 weeks the wait is a killer. I must say stay strong and I believe if a person wants to be in your life they will support you and be there for you. You should be able to have friends and enjoy adult time. Just from going back to school I find myself meeting people with the same issues. Nursing school is going to be a big part of your family that will help you through. Good luck and let me know how your doing in school.

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Oh AngPartridge3. The dumpling incident could have been written about me. Except it wasn't dumplings, and it was multiple incidents about countless things, but same general theme. Plus, it usually had the added twist of my doing things on purpose to make him angry. Fun times. So, based on my own experience, I can say with utmost certainty that in your future you will be thoroughly enjoying doing many many things any old way you choose and then will be thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet afterward since the ridiculous voice of criticism will be gone. I found the peace and quiet to be by far the most pleasurable thing about leaving my ex. Just something to think about, as a sense of peace is a very valuable thing. (And you can still have that peace with someone down the road, there are kind people out there, I can attest to that too) It may not be an easy road ahead of you, but I can tell from your post that you are strong, and you can do this. Try not to worry too much about finding friends...friends will appear in your life over time as you become involved in school and other activities. I wish you all the best in your new wonderful life.

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Specializes in ICU.

Yes, I know about that too. I accidentally put onion, yes onion, in a dish one time. How could I not know that he hates onions on anything!! I grew up with a mom who put onion in everything for flavoring. So that is how I learned to cook and it was just kinda automatic for me. You know what the funny thing is now? He tells me he misses my cooking the most. Then why did you complain about it?? I will never for the life of me understand.

I wanted my son to be able to see what a real relationship between two people who love each other looks like. My ex never hugged me or kissed me. Ever. He constantly picked and made fun of me to the point where it rubbed off on my son and he would go to practice and start making detrimental comments about women. Other people began to notice. That was a huge tipping point for me. I was so scared that my inaction to fix my own life would make my son's future relationships be awful. Now instead of crying myself to sleep every night my son sees a happy mom. That is what is important. It is important to teach your kids happiness and how to be in a relationship so they don't make the same mistakes we did.

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Minor edit to my above post: Meant to say: he *thought* I was doing things on purpose, not that I was.

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Thank you DadStudentPerhaps i just wrote that down to see everyday :smug:[/quote']

Welcome :)

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Specializes in CVICU.

Hi there, just wanted to extend my sympathies to you. Sounds like you are doing the right thing though, from what you have written. I would like to reiterate what others have said which is you will meet so many friends in nursing school. I'm in my 2nd semester of a 2-year RN program and there's 31 of us. The majority of us are quite close. There's nothing that'll bring people together like staying up till 2am studying for an exam that you have in 6 hours. It just depends on where you go, but there're students of all ages in many programs. I'm 19 and tonight I will be attending a study group with some classmates, ages 26 through 36. We all have a common goal: to become nurses. You'll survive!

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