accepted to nursing school after deciding to finalize divorce

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Specializes in home health.

I dont want to make it a sob story. This has been an ongoing thing. Getting married, years later separate. Get back together. Filed for divorce. Got back together with marriage counseling and now a week ago, husband out of no where cries out finalizing after a grouchy fit of what i was assuming needing a cigarette. He was trying to quit smoking. Theres other issues i wont get into. I think we both have disengaged ourselves from each other. Most of me knows its best to separate. I want nothing materialistic from the marriage, just my babies. But being accepted into nursing school, after putting it off for 5 years to be mom and wife, doesnt seem as...happy? Im excited! And i love my kids for being so patient with me when i may need to focus on school and this will be a great start to a horrible ending, but i cant help but to feel like im the only one going through this. And after valentines day, im pretty convinced i am haha. I know im not but i feel alone. I felt it would be better to vent here than facebook, and i dont have friends physically to call, somehow getting married weaved out all my friends. Thank you though for reading if you did :) i just had to get it out somehow.

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It'll all work out soon!

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Specializes in ICU.

My divorce was final about 2 weeks ago. It was an extremely difficult decision for I also have an 8 year old son who had a very difficult time in the beginning. He is currently in couseling and it has help him bunches. I decided to go back to school and get a divorce all in the same day. My ex wouldn't let me have a job or go to school so when I decided I wanted to finish what I had started 15 years earlier I knew I would be getting a divorce. I just take it day by day. Even though it is final, it was a difficult road and I still cry somedays because I get overwhelmed. Just do what is best for you and your kids and know you will be happier in the end.

Even though I have my down days, I am truly the happiest I have been in a long time. I now have a wonderful boyfriend who is very supportive of my going to school and is just supportive of me in general which makes things a lot easier. I have great friends who have been there for me. My son is what keeps me going. He is very proud of me going to school. He is so excited for mommy to be a nurse!!

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Voice of experience here: Easier to go through life, including parenting small children and doing nursing school, without him. You will find this out as the weeks and months pass.

And as my grown children and current much-beloved husband of 26 years can tell you, you just never know what joys may lie down the road.

{{AngPartridge}}

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Specializes in ICU.

I also wanted to add this, I did not have friends for the longest time. I moved from PA to IN back in 1997 and I got married in 99. I lived in Indy for a year before getting transferred up to the city where I live now. I worked tons of hours and never had time to make friends. My ex was very antisocial and we never had friends. When my son was 3, I enrolled him in swimming lessons and met some other moms there. Then he got into preschool and made some friends there. When he was 4, I enrolled him in judo because he was in his ninja phase and really wanted to a martial art. I had no idea what judo was, but it was offered at the YMCA where he was taking his swimming lessons, so I enrolled him. Best decision I ever made!!! We are truly like a family. They are my best friends in the world. I have met so many people through there. Now that my son is 8 and competes on a regular basis I have gotten very close with many of them. The kids whether they are 16 or 6 are all there for each other. They all attend each other's birthday parties and hang out with each other. Those kids taught my son how add and tie his shoes. It is really a great group of people.

I was really giving up on making friends here until I got my involved in activities. You will meet people who are at the same stage of life as you. Having kids, getting married, getting divorced. Just put yourself out there. And if you ever need to talk you can pm me. I know what you are going through and can hopefully help.

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^^^^^ YES

It is so easy to feel isolated, and, if you're having a hard time just keeping one foot in front of the other and managing the household, to become isolated. The answer is to leverage the resources you have :), in this case, your children are actually your greatest resources. The Y, the Boys and Girls clubs, Scouts/Campfire/etc., municipal children's activities ... all can be had at small or no cost, and they won't do you a bit of harm either. :)

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You will meet so many wonderful friends in nursing school. As time goes by it will get much easier and you will realize how much more you will have. Good luck with nursing school I'm waiting to hear if I got in. You are not alone. Hang in there.

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Specializes in home health.

Thank yall :) not exactly a situation i enjoy seeing others in but thank yall for sharing your experiences. I wasnt allowed to work or have friends. And anytime i tried it caused problems. I definitely came down to the decision of either having a husband or nursing school and guess which one i chose. Haha. Its not funny. If i could paint a "perfect" picture, my husband would be in it...total narcissist though. Some days i think im ok and then there are days i wonder the what ifs....anyway, im rambling. Thank yall. The responses meant the world to me.

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My first husband was a narcissist--been there, done that to death. But what a shock to his system it will be when yours discovers that for you it's really not all about him! Enjoy the moment when it comes (and it will give you years of laughter afterwards)!

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Specializes in home health.

Brenda17, i honestly cant wait to meet others in nursing school and hope im not too weird after going so long not being around adults haha, i havent had a girlfriend to hang out with in 5-6 years, i went to a story time to meet other moms and my son knocked over a chalk board on himself, clumsy kid oh my goodness, and everyone just stared...i took the kids to park instead, but best of luck. I hope you get in. Its a great feeling!

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Specializes in home health.

Thank you GrnTea.You could probably be more accurate in how my day would go than people that personally know us. Its horrible of me to feel this way, but i cant wait to show him it really isnt ALL about him. I think thats the hard part of gathering my emotions on this, i want to feel good about leaving, this man i have loved for so many years isnt the man i married..actually looking back, he is, but i didnt see it being a nightmare. And that would be great if theres any laughter coming from it later ;)

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Oh, lord, my husband and I laugh about it all the time, all these years later. One of the classics: Ex was preparing for business trip and threw this in my face. "Did you ever notice that I am not sorry to go away on business trips?" And I replied, "Did you ever notice I'm not sorry to see you go?" He was dumfounded. He had not, in fact, noticed that I was not sorry to see him go. :roflmao:

Narcissists make you crazy, but they are the crazy ones. I had a fair amount of pretty good therapy time but once I made that connection (and as they say in the therapy biz, there's nothing like feeling better to make you feel better :) ) I never, ever went back to feeling like a black hole of emotion and numbness. Once that's gone, life becomes much, much richer. As it should be.

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