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Abusive families

LPN/LVN   (1,006 Views 6 Comments)
by nurseguy213 nurseguy213 (Member) Member

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LPN here, working in a subacute. One of the family members of a resident is there daily. No one likes her because she's rude, like when a custodian passed by and then out of his earshot, but next to me, she called him a Pendejo, for no reason. I was assigned to her family member, while in the room she was talking in Spanish in front of me and a CNA. She was half talking to her, half talking outloud how she does not like me and that I'm lazy. I didn't pay attention, not letting her know I understand every word. My CNA felt bad, she said none of the staff are lazy and we do a good job, the other family members don't complain except for that one crazy one. How do you, my peers here handle this? I shrug it off, but should we? Should I report each instance? Crazy people talking smack just bounces off, but sane people talking smack? Not sure how much I can take talk about me or my co-workers.

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399 Posts; 1,159 Profile Views

Management & social workers should get involved asap to set boundaries.  Because this is subacute, I reckon you may be taking care of this person for months or years.  There should be a long term plan to manage this, and it may need to be care planned.  Yes, each occurrence should somehow be documented, but management should guide  you.

You & the other staff shouldn't have to defend yourselves in this way.

Edited by Golden_RN

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Sour Lemon has 9 years experience.

3 Followers; 4,243 Posts; 30,647 Profile Views

On 2/14/2019 at 11:23 AM, nurseguy213 said:

LPN here, working in a subacute. One of the family members of a resident is there daily. No one likes her because she's rude, like when a custodian passed by and then out of his earshot, but next to me, she called him a Pendejo, for no reason. I was assigned to her family member, while in the room she was talking in Spanish in front of me and a CNA. She was half talking to her, half talking outloud how she does not like me and that I'm lazy. I didn't pay attention, not letting her know I understand every word. My CNA felt bad, she said none of the staff are lazy and we do a good job, the other family members don't complain except for that one crazy one. How do you, my peers here handle this? I shrug it off, but should we? Should I report each instance? Crazy people talking smack just bounces off, but sane people talking smack? Not sure how much I can take talk about me or my co-workers.

Is sounds like she has deep seated issues that aren't going to be resolved by you or anyone else on staff. I would ignore her if her rude behavior was confined to rude and passive comments.
If she became demanding or argumentative, then it might be worth it to me to take some action or request that others take some action.

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19 Posts; 1,653 Profile Views

Thanks for the feedback. I did talk to someone else not involved in nursing, she said to remain professional. I think she told someone else and they politely told the family member because she was suddenly polite the next day.

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69 Posts; 465 Profile Views

Family members can be more of a hassle than the patient themselves. I'm pretty sure most patient's would recover well if some of their family would just leave them alone and let nurses do their jobs. I've seen quite a few patients mood change for the better as soon as a relative walks out of the room and leave. I don't mind them being there but don't be rude in my face every 2 minutes with requests/complaints as if that person is the only one on the unit. 

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Persephone Paige has 15 years experience as a ADN.

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I love the families that think their presence is the only reason their family member is getting any attention. I give the same amount of attention to each patient, if they are sicker they get a little more. Our CNAs are up and down the halls also, all day. Going from one room to the next, in an orderly fashion. If someone falls, or codes obviously the order is interrupted. But, otherwise it's your turn when it's your turn. 

If you've just had your turn, you will get your turn again in 5 patients time. 

This infuriates the family. Their presence doesn't mean that my 5 other patients get ignored because they are there screaming. If they want it faster, or more frequent, they can be of service to their family members and help out.

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