I've been reading through so many threads similar to this one in an attempt to cope better with my job. I'm a new grad (5 months) on an ortho/med surg unit. We take 6 patients at night, which always proves to be a challenge. But for the most part, I've been able to manage care fairly well.
For the most part, I really like my facility, coworkers, and nurse manager. But I've been feeling miserable about work for awhile now. I've made every effort to keep coming back to work and learning as much as I can, but it's starting to affect me so much more even at home.
I know the first year is the toughest and I've accepted that. But I also know when I've fully committed to something and I have truly given this job my all.
I love nursing. I love making a difference for my patients. But this jobs is making me incredibly anxious, even sitting at home on an off day thinking about work (which I also know I shouldn't do).
My stomach is always tied in knots, my appetite has diminished, I don't enjoy hanging out with friends as much as I used to because I'm always thinking about how awful my next shift will be. I'm always worried I'll mess up something or lose my license somehow (this is a recurring fear in my mind).
I've been looking for a new job and applying for some areas that I've always loved when I was in school and when I was a CNA. I haven't had a call back, but I'm hoping I will get one soon.
I just can't keep doing this job. I cry going to work and coming home from work. I was in tears at work because I apparently didn't adequately perform a prepare a patient for a procedure (this was also a very difficult patient and family). One of my coworkers wrapped an arm around me and took me to the report room to tell me that I was fine. She was glad to see I cared about my patients and that it would take me far.
I care so much about my patients and I like my coworkers, but I'm seriously miserable. I almost quit on the spot after another rough night a few days ago, but I don't want to ruin my career. I thought I could hang on for a year (hospital transfer policy), but I know that I won't be able to, if it's affecting my personal life away from work this much.
I apologize for the long post, but I've been keeping it all bottled inside and I just had to vent. I'm open to any suggestions.
Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.
I could have written your post a few months ago. I left that job after 7 months, despite the warnings from all that I should stick it out for a year or risk ruining my nursing career. However, I left AFTER I secured a new job. I learned a lot from my months as a floor nurse, not the least of which was that I never want to do it again. I went on to a different kind of nursing and am doing better and can actually have a life that isn't filled with dread and anxiety. It is important to note, however, that there is a learning curve to every job and being new has its difficulties. There will be anxieties and worries. It's important to take care of yourself emotionally and that can mean different things to different people. So, whatever you decide to do, make caring for yourself a priority. Nursing can be very tough on the emotions and self-esteem, so find the ways that work for you to combat that.
Specializes in Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation.
Hey lubdubnursing! I wrote a very similar post to yours a few weeks ago on this exact forum thread. I know almost exactly what you are going through, but hang it there! I've asked countless of new and experienced nurses and fellow friends and they say that this anxiety we get as new grads will eventually go away after about a year experience. Some have even mentioned that it is kind of good to have anxiety (though not as much as we do since we are new grads haha) since it keeps us on our toes and our eyes peeled for our patients.
Any who, I too am a new grad, 5 months into a pretty critical DOU unit. Fortunately, our nurse-patient ratio is capped at 1:4 here in California. A few shifts on my own after precepting, I started to think about if floor nursing is something I really should have started on first. My anxiety level was super high because I would get super nervous when there was a change in patient condition or even when a couple AM labs were "low" and I had to contact the doctor. I started to think about looking into non-floor nursing jobs right after I started on my own, but at the same time, I'm bound to a new-grad contract for 2 years. Contacting the doctor late at night/early morning and a change in patient condition are my TOP anxiety-causing situations that I totally despise.
Despite all this, my anxiety has started to go away ever so slightly as each shift passes by. As of now, I still get anxiety during changes in patient conditions, but who doesn't? I too have amazing coworkers and a very caring manager and director which makes all the difference. Charge nurses know there are new grads and are always willing to help or give advice, as well as other fellow nurses. Keep in mind that you are doing what you can for your patient, make sure you are being safe, cover yourself in charting, and always, always ask for a 2nd opinion from a second nurse. I've also learned how to talk to doctors, when it is an appropriate time to call them at night, and what to expect from them in terms of orders. This, I learned from talking to fellow nurses and from chewed out experiences when I was training lol. But experience is experience right?
In the end, when I look back at my past weeks of work, it's experience that we need to obtain as new grads. Anxiety will never go away and it's something we new grads have to cope with and use to our advantage. For example, just last night my patient's Hgb was 4.5, I had to contact the doctor right away and get her to emergency surgury at 0700 right at shift change. You bet I had major anxiety and you bet I was hypertensive and sweating balls (excuse my language lol). My charge nurse was up-to-date and so was the on-coming day shift RN (thankfully she has the patient yesterday so she knew). Both of them told me that everything will be okay and that I did really good and just to catch up on charting and head out and they would take care from here on. OR doc had already come in and I spoke him and he the patient. Everything was put in and the patient taken down asap. I stayed late because I had to cover myself in charting. I know what you're going through, stick with it!
Set some goals and de-stressing strategies. I still have thoughts about doing a non-floor nursing job, but my short term goal right now is to get at least 1 year of experience first before thinking of anything else. To help me cope with all this stress/anxiety, I find solace in working out 3-4 times a week. I catch up on sleep on my days off. I also go to Starbucks, get a cup of joe, and read my bible to help me relax. I used to get some nasty anxiety the during the day before I came into to work at night. I usually would get 3 hour nap in prior to going to work that night; however, ever since I started on my own, I would lay in bed thinking about what patients I would get and all these what ifs. I've started to calm down a bit as the weeks progressed. I've learned to sort of mind dump about work and not think about it until I actually come on. I mean I still do think about these what ifs before coming into work, but my anxiety level has lowered quite a bit. Keep calm, chive on! Literally. Hang in there, you are not the only new grad out there having these issues!
I'm trying to adapt new coping strategies and I've been doing more fun things outside of work! I'm also applying to start my MSN this summer, so I'm trying to look toward the future!
Girrrrlll I am with you! I'm in the same boat. I love my manager and my crew but the acuity of the patients as of late has me dreading coming to work every day. I am thankful that I have a job and grateful that I found my way into a residency program, but I am just not a fan of med/surg. Now, I say that with a hitch: I actually love my post-op patients. It's the medical patients that I simply do not enjoy.
I am very lucky in that I spoke with my manager multiple times and was upfront and honest with her that my heart was in another field of nursing and that my intent was to get to that particular area as soon as I could. Fortunately, because I have been able to make good connections in my residency program and be honest with my manager, I've been given the opportunity to move to that specialty this July, just shy of my year on the floor. Perhaps this might be a good avenue for you? Have you tried speaking to your manager about your interest in another unit? If you have a good manager, they are all about growing you as a nurse. There is nothing wrong with having a goal or dream.
It's helping me incredibly to have a light at the end of this tunnel. And I know that this experience will be useful for me when I do make my way over to my new unit.
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I could have written your post a few months ago. I left that job after 7 months, despite the warnings from all that I should stick it out for a year or risk ruining my nursing career. However, I left AFTER I secured a new job. I learned a lot from my months as a floor nurse, not the least of which was that I never want to do it again. I went on to a different kind of nursing and am doing better and can actually have a life that isn't filled with dread and anxiety. It is important to note, however, that there is a learning curve to every job and being new has its difficulties. There will be anxieties and worries. It's important to take care of yourself emotionally and that can mean different things to different people. So, whatever you decide to do, make caring for yourself a priority. Nursing can be very tough on the emotions and self-esteem, so find the ways that work for you to combat that.