So I'm just a few days shy of my one-year anniversary. I can't possibly write everything here that I have learned in the past year, or explain just how much my life has changed because of nursing.
In my first year, I wanted to quit my job, and looked for a new one at least every other week. But then the next time I went in, I would have a good night, or a good learning experience and decide to stay. Now, even though I have bad nights, I am staying because I really truly love taking care of my patients, and I love my coworkers.
I can't count how many patients I've had pass away on my shift, and even more who would pass away just a few hours after I left. (I work geriatrics and we get a lot of hospice and comfort care patients) I've recently realized how much it changes you to work so closely with life and death.
In the past year I've started nursing, moved out on my own, gotten married, gone on several vacations and weekend trips, and just bought a new car. These are all things that I truly believe would have NEVER happened if it wasn't for nursing.
I don't want to type forever, but I just want to let all the new grads know that it DOES get better. Some days REALLY suck. But even when you hate the nursing, think of what nursing is doing in your personal life too, because sometimes that helps you get through the bad spots, and eventually you'll learn to love the job, too, not just the benefits.
Reading all of your posts brought back fond (not!!) memories. Memories of fear and dread. Wondering if I would have to give report to that one mean nurse (FYI -- every unit has one). Knowing I would get the worst assignments, get talked about behind my back, get eyerolling from the experienced nurses when I asked for help. But I needed experience so I was determined to stick it out.
It's hard to get experience. You have to show up every day and slog through the muck, and it's hard because a lot of days, it seems like no one gave you any hip boots.
It helped me to vent and to process all that emotion and information by journalling.
As soon as I was sure that I knew what I was doing, I got out. By then, it was their loss.
I'm now on a unit that is the best. I help them, they help me, and surprise, surprise, we all get along.
I'm positive that all of you are better nurses than I was, in the beginning. If I could do it, so can you. Use this time to get experienced. Then you can make good choices about where to go with your career.
Best wishes to you all.
Thank you so much, Angie! That's exactly how I feel, and what I will do. I'll be leaving that floor as soon as I get a little bit more experience. After this, I'm done. Thanks for the advice. :)
Thanks for that input! I'm about 10 months into nursing, 7 months into my current role and I do feel things get better every day. There will always be BAD days but there are good ones too and GREAT ones and those in between. Either way nursing is like life, you think you are prepared and something comes at ya, but you just roll with it and experience the good, the bad and the in between.
if you're a new grad, and "on your own" after only a month, i would say your facility has a sub-standard orientation program, and that, not your ability, is to blame. ignore those looks of scorn. most new nurses aren't on their own until 3 or more months. i wonder if your manager would be open to more time for you with a preceptor?
:igtsyt: I am in 7 months, too, and I will be quitting. I will NOT leave nursing, only bedside nursing. I certainly feel better about my own skills after 7 months, and that's why I now have the courage to get out of this job. I really don't think it necessarily "gets better" for everyone; I am certainly glad for those who experience that. But even the most senior nurses at my place---2 of them work nights and they have been my God-sent support as I pound out my charting at 2 a.m. (and I work evenings!)---are often overwhelmed and frustrated by the sheer dysfunction of the system. And while I know there are better hospital situations out there, I am not surprised that 25-30% of all new grads leave their first jobs within a year. I never thought I'd be one of them, but I deserve better than this; I am a conscientious nurse and totally patient-centered, but the way I am forced to practice is digging a hole in my soul. Yes, there are many skills I don't yet have, but I am solid in all the basics and some of the advanced ones. My guess is that there are others out there who need the same courage I have developed in order to change their jobs, and who really are much better at nursing than the present mess in healthcare allows them to believe. And this is coming from a big-time scaredy-cat! So trust yourselves and do what you need to do in order to be the nurse that you are called to be. I am DONE enabling the chaos and danger; my patients deserve so much more than we are allowed to give them, so I am moving on. Nurses are the spinal column of healthcare and we need to do work that empowers us to act that way. We are not just "warm bodies" filling in the hospital grid...Not this new nurse, anyway. So take courage and don't give up on this wonderful work; just change the context in which you do it. Finding a new job might not be easy (for me it isn't, either), but your survival in nursing just might depend on it. Open your eyes and your mind to all the possibilities beyone the bedside---there are tons!
Prayers and support for everyone who is struggling like I am...:redbeathe
MMARN, BSN, RN
914 Posts
Thank you so much, Angie! That's exactly how I feel, and what I will do. I'll be leaving that floor as soon as I get a little bit more experience. After this, I'm done. Thanks for the advice. :)