A "dating female students in your class" post

Lovely_RN, MSN · Dec 19, 2007

I'm a woman but I just had to respond to this.

I'm an older (32) married woman and I had a young guy in my study group (22). He was one of three males in our class, the other two were taken, and he was also cute. So you can imagine the amount of attention he was getting from the female students in the class.

He enjoyed the attention immensely but it proved to be very distracting. He left the study group because another lady in the class said that we were cliquish and he didn't want to offend her (because he was interested in her).

Anyway to make a long story short he went from a high B to a low C and barely managed to graduate once he woke up and pulled his head out of his butt.

Nursing school is tough skip the drama and date outside of school.

SteveNNP, MSN, NP · Dec 19, 2007

I had a huge crush on a girl in my class for almost 4 years, but was afraid to ask her out, because I thought it would be weird if we ever broke up, seeing as how we spent 5 days a week in class together, and had a lot of the same friends. I finally got up the courage to ask her out, and 3 weeks in, she broke up with me. Needless to say, my fears were confirmed, and it was extremely weird until graduation. However, I believe you CAN have a relationship with a classmate, as long as you can maintain focus, and remain friends if and when you break up.

Jedi of Zen · Dec 19, 2007

I had a huge crush on a girl in my class for almost 4 years, but was afraid to ask her out, because I thought it would be weird if we ever broke up, seeing as how we spent 5 days a week in class together, and had a lot of the same friends. I finally got up the courage to ask her out, and 3 weeks in, she broke up with me. Needless to say, my fears were confirmed, and it was extremely weird until graduation. However, I believe you CAN have a relationship with a classmate, as long as you can maintain focus, and remain friends if and when you break up.

The girl that I described in my post and I did sort of "break up" after things began to happen, because we realized that it just wasn't going to work, for several reasons. She is working full-time and raising a child on her own; I in turn also work, and I plan on moving out of state after I'm done with school. So all of those factors together just makes it too hard to realistically maintain a relationship. However, we are still good friends and even sit close to each other in class every day.

But then another girl and I kind of started flirting with each other at a later point in time, and then because of that things got weird with the friendship between myself and the first girl...and yeah. It got pretty high-schoolish I suppose.

bobaganoosh · Dec 20, 2007

I thank god that I am happily married and a couple of girls in my class know it and we are all going to make a great study group because they know I have no interest in them besides proffessionaly and they have no interest in me personally because of my marriage.

it does seem to keep the girls away when they see my wifes portrait tattoo'd on my leg too

GilbertDaddy · Dec 22, 2007

I was thinking about this a lot. At first I always joked about getting that kind of attention. I'm a younger guy, keep in shape, and all that.

But then I realized that in all honesty, I'll likely be taking mostly part time or online classes due to my hectic schedule. It could be a good year before I even see another face aside from exam time lol.

But I do agree about the drama issue. With wanting to go past the BSN and hopefully into CRNA-land one day, GPA is of the utmost importance. Being a single father of 2 means I'm already busy after work - study time is already at a minimum.

I'm sure I'll love the attention because working and parenting alone is tough and it means I can never get out and have a social life (I don't trust babysitters). But I'll have to make sure to cut it off at the minor ego boost. Too much of my future lies on the line

If it's understood that I have no time or interest in relationships, I imagine I might let something slide, but that's a slippery slope.

I joke about my situation being like a man trapped on a desert island somewhere with a dozen beautiful women and I've got a winning lottery ticket at home waiting for me. Yes the girls would be distracting and tempting, but women don't share men very well (the term "catfight" came to be for a reason), and as pretty as they were.. I'd want that lottery payout much more.

In other words - short term vs long term goals. I do love a pretty woman, but a lifestyle of relaxation and recreation is my goal. To allow myself to get sidetracked would only be a disservice to myself and an insult to my kids for the time they sacrificed with their dad so that he could go to school in the first place

Noryn · Dec 22, 2007

It depends, typically if you put younger people together they are going to get together. My friend in nursing school made an attempt to date 2 girls--it didnt really go far but at the same time didnt distract him.

I probably came close to dating some of the girls--I was 21 at the time but all of us were commuters that came from a widespread area. I lived more than 2 hours away from some of the girls. Also when you are younger, you have more drama to deal with.

After your first year, your time management gets better. My second year I had a part time job, girlfriend and did as well as anyone in my class.

paulwalkman · Dec 22, 2007

hey,

i just graduated a 2nd degree program and i explained to my current girlfriend, whom i met after graduation, why i hadn’t dated in almost 2 years. we had a small class, less than 20. granted i loved the ratio of women to men and many of the women were attractive, dating one of them just didn’t seems smart. we had several different clinical rotations and the group members changed. if i dated anyone of the girls and it didn’t go well things would be a mess. there is gossip no matter where you are and what you are doing, but i have to be able to count on any one of my fellow classmates to “have my back” and assist me at any given time. if there was gossip about a relationship i would not feel comfortable when i need a classmate’s help.

nurz2be · Dec 22, 2007

Female here just wanted to drop my 5 cents here. On our first day of class our nursing program director had ALL nursing students come to a meeting. There are 5 classes of 24 at my school. Her first statement was a Welcome to nursing school statement. Her very next statement, she was a full bird colonel in the army and it SHOWS, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you are not presently seeing, dating, or married to anyone present in this room, DO NOT make it happen. (About 80 or so jaws hit the floor). She followed up by saying, "Relationships are hard, nursing school is harder, broken relationships and hearts are NOT the place for nursing school students. The quickest way besides bad grades to lose out on nursing school is to find yourself in a relationship with someone in this room, only to have them 'jealous you are in a study group with so and so, spending more time studying than with your new friend, all to have it blow up in your face the night before an exam. DON'T be a statistic, it happens far too often." She steps away from the podium and we all just sat there frozen. About 3-4 minutes passed before anyone approached the podium, I assume they were letting that sink in.

I can tell you that we had 2 in our class not heed that warning and they broke up, as will happen, she flunked out due to being depressed, he is trying to date yet another girl and not focusing on his studies.

Just what happens. You are young and you have PLENTY of time AFTER nursing school to find someone. Who knows, maybe you'll find a cute female doc or nurse at the facility you work at after school to be with.

flightnurse2b, LPN · Dec 23, 2007

agreed! another female nursing student here.....

there is a guy in my class, who although a smart guy, is on my last nerve by being the class casanova. first semester, he dated 4 girls in my class, 2 at the same time. needless to say, there were so many cat fights that 3 of the 4 girls flunked out because they were too busy whining and fighitng over this guy than paying any attention to class. sometimes they wouldnt even come because they couldnt stand to be around him. the other one still follows him around like a lost puppy and she is so ate up about how mean he is to her that shes riding the line, too. now we are in our 5th semester, and he has a new girlfriend who he sits next to in GI/GU and is in hot water with her already for flirting with another girl in his clinical group. i just want to slap him. not only does all this drama distract him and his flavor of the month, but everyone in his classes and clinical group is distracted with all their drama!! im really sick of it. he will call me occasionally and ask for notes, and my answer is a big fat no.... pay attention in class. most of my classmates are very focused on becoming nurses and dont appreciate feeling like we are in the middle of a bad laguna beach rerun.

i understand men have needs and that going through the stresses of nursing school and having to be surrounded by estrogen overload have to be hard.... but as a girl, im telling you that we are mean, and catty, and if you start a relationship in nursing school and it doesnt work out.. remember we have to see you for 5 days a week for 3 more years...prepare to be miserable.

nursing school is hard enough without extra bs. if you arent in a relationship, dont get in one! i hardly ever get to see my boyfriend, thank god he is also a nurse and understands how much pressure im under. you have plenty of time to meet a nice girl when you get your license :)

GilbertDaddy · Dec 23, 2007

Wow, that sounds crazy! I like my "only man on a beach full of women" metaphor even better now :)

You get started with one of those girls and it's like dominos.. I imagine the stress on the female side is harder, but even the wanted distractions from a guy's point of view could be harmful.

Do you two ladies find that it's the younger girls that get in trouble the most or is it pretty spread out?

For me it's RN first, girls second. No offense to present company, but no woman's hot enough to make up for having to drop out of a program that is as hard to get into as nursing...

nurz2be · Dec 23, 2007

Wow, that sounds crazy! I like my "only man on a beach full of women" metaphor even better now :)
Do you two ladies find that it's the younger girls that get in trouble the most or is it pretty spread out?
.

YES! I am 35 and have been married almost 17 years of that 35. I notice that the younguns' between 20-25 are the "throat cutters." This age group seems to be more emotional and more apt to let air out of someones tires so they won't make it to clinicals, yes that happened a few weeks ago. It is the whole if I can't have him no one in the class will mentality and the pot gets so stirred they cannot see they are screwing up their nursing career for what? Now, I have seen some pretty lame older ladies act 15 when it comes to being jealous but these younger girls fight with their claws out. The guy I mentioned above, his latest "victim", girl numb 3 or 4 had her nursing books mysteriously disappear during lunch break, mind you our books cost us almost 800 for this semester, only to have the janitor come with a rolling trash can with the bag inside and some foreign sticky, wet, nasty, stuff dumped in mass amounts onto those books. All hell broke loose. Of course now the WHOLE class is in on the drama that is unfolding, takes almost 2 hours from class trying to figure out who dun it. We women can be the most loving, kind, wonderful people, but we can be the most vindictive, nasty, mean, bad for business people you ever wanna be on the bad side of.

BEST advice, date someone OUTSIDE your class. Leave the drama for the soap operas on TV.