A phantom poo

Nurses Humor

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Today I was assisting a pt to transfer himself from the bed to commode. He has wearing tshirt, pad and jocks. Transfer was uneventful, assisted him with his shower, got back to the patient's 5 bed room, went back to the side of the bed looked down, and between my feet was the hugest BA. I swear it wasn't there when we left for the bathroom! None of the roommates :lol2: seemed to notice it was there, I was so shocked!

It kept me laughing all day, Im just thankful I didnt step in it!

Specializes in ER, Neuro, Geriatrics, Psych, Med-surg...

When I worked on a Spinal Injuries Unit we had to do manual bowel evacuations - I still don't know how I did that job!!! - but here's the phantom poo bit: One day after finishing that task I could still smell poo...I checked carefully and didn't have any on my uniform...still the unmistakeable odour of poo.My whole morning went like that - phantom whiffs of poo until I finally sat down to eat lunch and glanced down at my rolled up shirt sleeve to see a blob of poop neatly settled into the folded up sleeve!!!! - And you know I still manged to eat lunch after changing uniforms.

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Specializes in Nursing assistant.
Didnt have a problem with poo til some nice patient grabbed a handfull and started to mould it into a shape ,guess he was a sculpter ,reminded me of close encounters

oooooo! I have this yucky flashback of Demi Moore in Ghost.

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Specializes in med/surg, oncology.

When I was a nursing assistant, I walked in to a resident's room to find her teeth were black and she had a black "chunk of something" by her head, I asked one of the other aides if they had given her anything to eat (a brownie) maybe? No of course not, further inspection revealed it was poo!

Had another confused lady reach into the back of her brief at lunch time and pulled out a turd and sat it next to her plate!

A confused old man had smeared his poo all over the walls and down into the heater! It was winter and the heat was on!

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Specializes in Nursing Home ,Dementia Care,Neurology..

Poo in its normal setting I can deal with but "diggers" oh boy!They hide it under pillows,in drawers,eat it:barf01:its under their nails,in their hair and when you do clean them up they look at you as if you did it!

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When I was a CNA we had a "digger" and her nickname was Goldie, LOL. One day we had been in Goldie's room for the 4th time on our shift. I had noticed earlier that there was a lingering fragrance that seemed to be stronger each time we came to the room. This time, after we cleaned Goldie and changed her linens, we began looking around her room for anything that might not be in the right place. Mind you, Goldie NEVER talked when anyone was in the room, only once you left you would hear her talking. Nothing was under the bed, in the closet, or anywhere. We checked the drawers only to find clothes and a box of chocolates. I asked Goldie if she had any visitors lately. She smiled the biggest, brownest smile you've ever seen and said, "My son brought me chocolates." MY stomach SWIRLED. 36_19_7.gif I gloved up again and opened her drawer, remembering the box of chocolates I had seen. Low and behold..... shiver....... she had made little dobs of poo in each of the places where a chocolate should be...... It still give me shivers....

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Specializes in rehab-med/surg-ICU-ER-cath lab.

My lovely, wonderful, kind, highly educated MIL had Alzheimers. My XH has a very proper WASP family. They were so lucky to be able afford to always care for her at home. She maintained her sweet personality until the very end. But, as the disease progress she would had out little "treats". Poop wraped up in TP with the appearance of twistie ties on each end - very much like a party favor. The family almost had MI over that one.

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My lovely, wonderful, kind, highly educated MIL had Alzheimers. My XH has a very proper WASP family. They were so lucky to be able afford to always care for her at home. She maintained her sweet personality until the very end. But, as the disease progress she would had out little "treats". Poop wraped up in TP with the appearance of twistie ties on each end - very much like a party favor. The family almost had MI over that one.

I guess those would be called Poopsie Rolls?? LOL

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Our floor was shaped like a big L, with the nurses' station in the corner so we could see down both halls. One night, we were doing our charts and all of a sudden got a whiff of the nastiest poo we'd ever smelled. We all set out to find the source, and as we walked down the front hall the smell just got stronger and stronger. I'm not exaggerating on how bad it was--- people were coming out of their rooms, asking if the sewer had backed up.

We tracked it to the very last room, farthest away from the desk. And the door was SHUT. When we opened it, the smell nearly knocked us out. It was a semi-private, but luckily only one patient in there because her husband had just arrived in town to stay with her and we'd blocked the other bed so he could sleep on a cot.

We turned that room upside down. Nothing. Hubby had left the room for a few, but the woman was totally with it--- and showed no signs of even noticing the odor. No reason for her to poo anywhere but the BR. She said she'd not been up, and there was no sign the toilet had been used. I left the room to call maintenance, as I figured maybe there really WAS something wrong with the drains or sewer.

As I was waiting for the operator to page the maintenance on call and answering call lights going off all over complaining of the smell, one of our nurses came running up. She'd located the source of the smell.

It was the patient's husband's FEET. I kid you not. He'd taken off his shoes, and there was thick, crusty, yellow-green something growing on his feet. OMG. That was hands down the worst odor I've ever smelled. Heck, a little bit o'poo is nothing compared to that...

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Specializes in med/surg.

One night I walked into a room and knew right off that someone would be getting cleaned up soon. Sure enough as I turned around I thought to myself "What is that on her bedside table?" As I got closer I realized it was three ball shaped pile of poo. They were of descending size and looked like wet clay shaped into balls. I left the room to get linen and laughed all the way there.

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Specializes in Acute,Subacute,Long-term Care.

ewww gross! :barf01:

this reminds me of many years ago when i worked at a ltcf and a resident there had a colostomy, she would take peices of her stool and either set them up on her bedside table and offer them to you as chocolate ick (luckily i wasn't one of them she did this to lol) or else she would use them for target practice on those walking past her room. poor lady, i'm sure she wasn't aware of what she was doing, but its still gross!

wanda

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