A little over a year...

Quit being so hard on yourself. It takes a year to two years to feel completely comfortable. I know most of us are our own worst critics, but we have to keep that in check. You worry about being professionally disgraced, what makes you feel that way? What mistakes have you made that cause you to feel this way?

It could be you're getting the more difficult assignments which, in the long run, will make you a better nurse. Pay attention to what's going on around you. And you'll see what I mean. Every night I go in to work there are nurses who are camped out at the nurses station. I stay on the hallways with my computer because that's where my patient's are. As I'm there, their patient's are sound asleep while mine are crawling out of the bed. Their patients' IV pumps are also sounding off but because the nurses are at the desk 'chillin', they are too far away to hear them. So little things like that will make ou appear disorganized and constantly running but you're only doing your job and part of their's, too if you go in and reset their IV pumps while the others are sucking up to the charges and managers. Live and learn and pay attention to what's going on while you're busting it with your patients. This seems to be acceptable behavior at a lot of places and I have 27 years in nursing under my belt. It's not fair but this WILL make you the better nurse and improve your skills where you can go on to a better working environment. But just so you know, it might be the same elsewhere, just different faces.

Now, on the other hand, if you're just not feeling that you are where you need to be, talk to your manager and ask for help and/or suggestions. After all. You are still considered to be a new nurse with lots to be learned that could not be taught in rising school.

Good luck to you!

Thank you both. I'm trying to quit being so hard, but there are times it just seems impossible to appease all of these standards we're supposed to live up to.

Nrsang, the reason I feel that way is that I've been written up in the last 3 months for an error on blood transfusion paperwork, and now it seems I may be written up again soon for a dissatisfied patient who gave us a low satisfaction score. Granted, the blood write up was my first, and I'm usually so careful that it took me over a year to be written up for the first time.

But I am starting to feel like maybe my caution (which leads me to be slow) is why others see me as mismanaging my time.

And Lyndaa, your words are very true- I often find myself answering my co-workers call lights, helping PCAs, and setting pumps. Perhaps I should focus on that.

Since writing that post, tonight will be my first night back. The dreaded meeting with my (really super awesome- I'm blessed to have her) manager is tomorrow after my shift to discuss the angry patient.