what would you do?

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

Sometimes nursing makes us uncomfortable....sometimes things are too close to home and that makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes patients makes us face or own fears and mortality which makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes complete strangers need a hug.......:hug:.

Nursing is a tough job in more ways than one. Recognize that you are human and have flaws, know when you are out of your league and get someone else to help and most of all forgive yourself. The how to deal with things comes with time.....just remember your patients are the same as you and a :hug: goes a long way........:)

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

I acknowledge their fears, without offering any pat cliches such as "It'll be okay", "There's nothing to worry about", etc. I might say something like "I know it's scary, but I'll be with you the whole time", while offering a gentle touch on the shoulder.

Sometimes the person just needs more information about what to expect. I might take a moment to pull up a chair and ask them if they have any questions about the procedure, then answer those questions honestly and concisely, giving a lot of eye contact and using active listening techniques. If it might hurt, I acknowledge that it might hurt, but I also tell them that even though some discomfort is to be expected, we'll do our best to minimize it.

It might be helpful for you to take an interpersonal communication class, if you already haven't. This might give you some tools to deal with situations that make you uncomfortable, and boost your confidence in your own interpersonal skills.

tokmom, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

I pull up a chair (eye level is better than towering over somebody) and asking them why they are crying and what can I do for them them. You have to find out why before you can even begin to help.

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

This comes with time, but even as a new nurse, sometimes all the patient needs is to feel like someone is trying to understand :) You will figure it out-- and asking the person if they're ok isn't silly- it's an opening for the patient to either tell you what they're feeling or keep it bottled up (some people just cope that way). Either way- you did what you knew to do to try and help :)

halkogirl · Aug 14, 2011

The fact that you are willing to seek help here and from others makes me feel like you will be a great nurse. It will come with time. I was the opposite- I cried all of the time with patients and their families. Now that I am in my thirties, I have learned how to manage those situations better. Some of it comes from life experience, some of it comes to observing other people's reaction to similar situations, some if it comes from being a mother and having to be the strong one. You will get there, I promise!! Good luck with school :)

Guest27531 · Aug 14, 2011

Ok, so I was on clinicals and Im studying for my BSN. The thing is I came straight out of highschool and I know that has its pros and cons. Cons being that you dont have the same life experience. When I was on clinicals a patient who was close in age to me was scared and was crying. I didnt know what to do! I know it sounds really silly, like really silly but I just froze and I asked her if she was ok but she was obviously upset because she was scared of a procedure that she would be having. I went and told the RN and the RN handled the situation while I was asked to do something else. I've been able to comfort older people and I do love the caring side of nursing, listening and tlc but I just feel awkward when other people cry, especially if they are around my age. Has this ever happened to you? If not will it be something I might just get used to as I get older? what do you do when a patient cries? cos i really do care and i hate to see someone cry but as i said I feel awkward!! If my friends or family members cry I give them a hug but Im quite a shy person and I dont know my patients like I know my family members and friends.

It doesn't sound at all silly. Your description brings back memories of my basic training and the times that I experienced similar situations. Don't be concerned that you have a character flaw...in fact, what is currently a disadvantage will, likely, turn out to be an advantage when you have more experience.

One of my instructors in my first year told me that I was too "stand-offish" for nursing. She said she had noticed that I didn't really like to get too close to my patients, that I seemed to hold back. It was probably true and perhaps I needed to hear it at the time but I have had letters from patients over the years indicating that they felt closeness and care from me...so, sometimes it's physical and sometimes it's not.

Also, you still have to learn some important interviewing techniques (often during your psych rotations) that will help you say the right things, even when you don't feel like you know what to say. The techniques seem somewhat awkward and forced at first but they work. One of my most difficult assignments was when we were studying Death & Dying and I was assigned to a young mother (about my age). She had advanced bone cancer and they hadn't been able to get her out of the stage of denial. It was very important for the sake of her two children that she help her husband figure out a plan for the children after her death. I went to see her the evening before my clinical with her to do my assessment and I was terrified! I had no idea what to say to her and I was certainly in no position to give her advice. Because our studies were centered around Death & Dying, we had been given certain interviewing techniques to help us talk to the patients. This lovely young woman was nearly catatonic and would not speak to me nor look at me. She remained lying down on her side and looking out the window. I first went around to the side of the bed where I could face her but was quickly scared off when she didn't respond. I started to leave the room but something brought me back (probably the fact that I didn't have enough information for my Care Plan!). I turned around at the door and came back and stood behind her. I spoke to her gently and told her that I had read her chart and that I was very sorry to read her diagnosis and to read that she was in a great deal of pain. I told her that I would return in the morning to give her a bed bath and to wash her hair and that I would try to be very gentle. Then, I remarked that it must be difficult for her and her husband to figure out what would happen in the future. I asked if they had decided how he would manage the household without her. She didn't respond and I quietly left the room, feeling quite a failure. The next morning the instructor took me aside and said that after my visit she began to cry and was able to move to the next stage of grief (bargaining). This allowed the staff to be able to work with her and the father of the children so they could start making realistic plans for their future. It changed everything for them. My instructor was very clear that it was something I said that allowed her to make the break-through. I'll never forget it. I'll also never forget her.

Also, not everyone is meant for all types of nursing. For my part, I had a hard time during my pediatric rotations. I liked the learning part but the clinicals were difficult because I was already a mother and all I wanted to do was "mother" the children. That is very different from being their nurse. Even with all my nursing experience, I would still not feel comfortable in pediatrics. So, you will find the type of nursing that works for both you and your patients. In the meantime, just take the clinicals as they come and do the best with what you are being taught. It sounds like you have good insight and are being thoughtful in your work. That makes a great nurse!