Medical retirement - inactive too soon

Nurses Retired

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I was so pleased to find a Retired/Inactive Nurses forum here.

I reached a point with stage iv breast cancer that prevented my responsibly caring for patients, but was fortunate enough to work for a flexible agency and I was allowed to work with students and interns by meeting with them at my home and using secure VPN computer technology so I could sign off on their charts, etc.

Inevitably, the disease reached a point where I was no longer reliable enough to do that. It feels so bad. I understand why the clinical director asked me to take medical retirement. It was the only reasonable and responsible decision, but it still just hurts.

I am fortunate enough to have a second, non-nursing skill set so I can still support myself, but it just hurts.

Aside from the hurt, I miss my practice. I loved working with people who have chronic psychiatric conditions, and I loved (most of!) my colleagues. I miss it so much.

I'd love to hear from other retirees about how you deal with this, if you experience it, too. Thank you so much.

Specializes in Psychiatry.

My dear VivaLasViejas,

I vividly recall your detailed narration of your trials and tribulations living with a component of mental-health issue (I shun and avoid using the terminology "mental-illness" since mental-health is a continuum) in not-so-distant past.

I quote you, I try not to feel too sorry for myself. That is the perfect attitude to have. You did not choose to have "severe stress led to a nasty mixed-manic episode that nearly landed me in the hospital". For whatever reasons (be it chemical imbalance, genetic predisposition, or some bizarre inexplicable reason), it just happened. Your elan to continue to be a nurse and contribute to nursing is commendable. I respectfully disagree with you when you say, "I'm not the same nurse I once was". Although I do not know you personally, trust me when I say that you are the same nurse that you used to be, except a little bruised and a little hurt. I am confident that you will bounce back and enjoy the same confidence, respect, and position that you once prided yourself on. Hang in there vieja. :yes:

Specializes in Psychiatry.

Dear cancermom (I am addressing you so despite myself),

I found your terminology "lurker" quite amusing (I would have called myself "a peeping Tom). :)

Camaraderie aside, my heart goes out to you due to your experiences and a trying situation.

It is heartening to know that you have a tremendous support system. That in itself is a blessing. It is hard for nurses to switch roles (I know it from my personal experience) but sometimes we have no say in which role we would rather play. I am glad that you had saved up 450 hours (that is over 11 weeks of paid-leave?) although you had not envisaged to avail yourself of them in this way.

You will be in my prayers.

My best to you.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I was so pleased to find a Retired/Inactive Nurses forum here.

I reached a point with stage iv breast cancer that prevented my responsibly caring for patients, but was fortunate enough to work for a flexible agency and I was allowed to work with students and interns by meeting with them at my home and using secure VPN computer technology so I could sign off on their charts, etc.

Inevitably, the disease reached a point where I was no longer reliable enough to do that. It feels so bad. I understand why the clinical director asked me to take medical retirement. It was the only reasonable and responsible decision, but it still just hurts.

I am fortunate enough to have a second, non-nursing skill set so I can still support myself, but it just hurts.

Aside from the hurt, I miss my practice. I loved working with people who have chronic psychiatric conditions, and I loved (most of!) my colleagues. I miss it so much.

I'd love to hear from other retirees about how you deal with this, if you experience it, too. Thank you so much.

I had to leave nursing due to a cancer diagnosis as well (not breast). It has been very difficult. I have disability income, but I'd rather work. I get some income writing articles for a nursing website, but it's not the same as working with patients. (I worked in outpatient oncology.)

You're right, it does hurt. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I don't. In my case, I won't be able to go back to nursing. I had 26y, and that was it. So much of what you miss is what I am dealing with.

​I wish you the best with your health.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Mental Health.

I am so touched by everyone's kindness. Thank you all!

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