Vent...lying families

  1. I guess I just need an ear and a little support. I've been doing PDN since I started nursing. I'm very comfortable with the work I do and I really love my job most of the time. I understand that I must have thick skin and that I can't please everyone. But no matter what, I give the best I can in the situation that is given to me.

    Last week I worked at a home and got a complaint from the agency that was BS. I talked to the mom the next day and apologized for any misunderstanding. I explained that she could communicate with me any time that she wanted me to do or not do something. She complained that I didn't bathe the kid quick enough one day for an appt that she never told me about. She also complained to the agency saying I didn't jump in. But this is a new case with a mom that is devastated over the diagnosis of her child. She seemed like a hands on parent and so I backed off when she jumped in to do care so I wouldn't offend her or make her feel as if I were taking over.

    The next shift after the complaint and talking to the parent I was on eggshells making sure that I was extra cautious and communicated everything. I was also orienting a nurse to the case that day that was a witness to the entire day. The nurse actually commented that day that she would like to request me to orient her to other cases because she felt I did a better and more thorough job than the other nurse on the case. The day went fine and there were no issues that day that I ever ran in to. The family had made some racial comments that were hurtful from day 1 of working on that case but I chose to ignore those.

    I got a call the next day after that shift telling me that the parent didn't want me back. I asked why and the agency told me they would talk to me later. I asked the next day for feedback so I could make things right or make changes to improve the care I give. Again, I was told that they were too busy to talk about it. So I got a call the other day telling me I had to go in to the office to talk with them in person. I knew that meant a write up. I was stressed because the day had gone well and I knew I had done nothing wrong or different from any other case. At the same time I had just received a card in the mail from the agency thanking me for my work on another case. (A family sent an e-mail telling the agency that I'm their favorite nurse and how happy they are with me)

    I went to the office to talk with them and they had written me up. The family made up lies about me and told the agency. Instead of saying it wasn't working out or that it was personality, the mom felt the need to make up lies. The lies weren't simple lies like the nurse didn't do her job. The lies were out there!! I told the agency that a nurse was orienting with me and asked them if they were call her to verify that the family lied about me. They said they would look in to it, but continued to write me up anyway. The write up was written before ever talking to me or asking for what happened on the case. I really think it was a race issue by the family and possibly just not a personality match. I wouldn't have been upset if the family had let me go over personality. I didn't like the case either.But the lies were very unneccesary and hurtful.

    I'm aggravated and upset that my job is on the line (I'm on probationary status) because of a liar. I'm upset (even though I know how the agencies are) that the agency didn't bother to hear me out or verify the truth with the other nurse that was with me that day. And the agency never took in to consideration that another family had written to them about how happy they are with me. The mom admitted to me that she had a long criminal history including child abuse. I even told the agency about that. How could they believe a criminal like that? I brush off quite a bit, but this one has me so angry...I guess it really hit a nerve. Plus the way the agency handles this gives the parents more power to damage nurses and makes some of these cases miserable.
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    About SDALPN

    Joined: Apr '07; Posts: 1,041; Likes: 1,413
    Peds Nurse; from CU
    Specialty: Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU


  3. by   KATRN78
    This is horrible! Did you sign the write up? you don't deserve this treatment
  4. by   nursel56
    I am so sorry that happened to you --- but it all boils down to one thing, the agency you are presently working for.

    It's tough enough sometimes being out in the field by ourselves, the least you can expect is a fair hearing should some feedback make it to the office. They should at least hear you out if they can't bring themselves to actually have your back.

    I would seriously look into another agency. I couldn't work for someone who didn't trust my word. So far, they always have. There have been a few "you could've handled that better" discussions for sure, that's how we grow and learn. But not putting down in writing uncorroborated statements about things they did not witness.
  5. by   HisTreasure
    I am so sorry that happened. Something similar occurred a few years back when a family reported that I had come to their home no less than 3 times smelling of marijuana. I was like "really? Why would they allow a 'drugged' nurse to care for their very medically fragile child while they slept? Who does that? Can we drug test me RIGHT NOW?!" The agency declined, and thankfully I wasn't written up but it still hurts and I still wonder sometimes if they believed the lies. It hurts. It injures our ego and our reputation. Unfortunately, liars are everywhere and sometimes we work in their homes.
  6. by   PerfectlyPlump
    I wish your agency was a lot more supportive, since you have been performing so well in the past.
  7. by   SDALPN
    So things got worse. The scheduler decided to take me off of my regularly scheduled case and move me to another case for the day that is just too far. I told her it was too far and that the traffic in that area at that time of day could mean 1.5-2 hours of driving (more so because of traffic). I have only worked the other case once and there were some things that were confusing because of the lack of organization. Orders and the careplan were all over the place in boxes the last time I worked. So after I worked the last time, I requested orientation to the case. They never sent me back over there to orient to the case. Plus the first day I worked there, they had me training someone on a case that I had never even worked!! On top of that, the family has a history of giving the kid food (against orders) and the nurses have found the food in the trach. I'm not putting myself in that kind of situation. Well the scheduler decided to tell me she was going to use the refusal to go to that case against me. She told me the only other nurse she had to work the case wasn't trained. I told her I wasn't trained either. So she told me she was letting the other nurse work my regularly scheduled shift and that I wasn't getting a shift (or the hours I need for f/t status for benefits). I don't know what the schedulers problem is, but threatening me isn't making me want to work with her or bend over backwards for her. She definitely needs some management skills!! I requested to talk with the Director, but she wasn't available. So I will talk with her Mon and go up the chain from there. I want to request an investigation into the lies that were told that day. I talked with a nurse and therapist that was around the day that the parent made the complaint and they said nothing happened that day either. But now I feel like its just a witch hunt anyway.
  8. by   KATRN78
    What exactly was the complaint?

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