Tired all the time!!!

Nurse Allison · Mar 25, 2007

I understand how you feel. I have a 5 and an 8 year old at home. My husband travels ALL the time (weeks at a time) So I'm single mom trying to do everything. I feel the best studying time I get in is "at school after class". I find a quiet place to hide and study/do notes then. There is no way I can get studying done with the children constant nagging and needing something every 5 minutes. By the time I get them to bed, I'm exhausted and just need to sleep. We have a science study center but find when I go in there, it turns into a chat session. I'm best working alone, in complete silence. My duaghter's in school while I'm at school and my parents watch my five year old. Luckily he'll be in kindergarten in the fall full time!!!

morte, LPN, LVN · Mar 26, 2007

Ok...my life is quite busy!!
I am a mom to an 18 month old and a wife to a man who doesn't seem to want to do more than he has to. I work all day and 2 nights a week I got to school, but when I get home, my daughter is still up and I take over from there. On the nights that I don't have school, I pick her up from my sisters and take care of her all night. By the time she goes to bed (which is usually around 8:30), I am so tired and I have no energy to do ANYTHING! I know I should be, but I just can't do it! And I yawn from about noon on...I just feel so.....blah!!
Does anyone have any tips on how to get my energy up? I know if I feel this when when I am in the Nursing classes, I'll never make it!! I do usually get enough sleep every night, but not sure it's sound, so maybe that is an issue. Just so tired of being so tired!!
Thanks,
Lori

have you been eval'ed for depression?

lisabeth · Mar 26, 2007

What kind of response is that? :confused: Have you walked in her shoes? I think she is very discouraged, not depressed.

have you been eval'ed for depression?

morte, LPN, LVN · Mar 26, 2007

What kind of response is that? Have you walked in her shoes? I think she is very discouraged, not depressed.

i am sorry that YOU took that as insulting.....read her post critically with a clinical eye....she gets "enough" sleep but is questioning the quality....has a full time job school parttime ....and a partner who doesnt appear to be contributing to the extent she desires....possibly=anger, possibly=depression

MB37 · Mar 26, 2007

My husband and I are very seriously considering hiring a maid service. I figure if I quit my job, I could go to nursing school and keep the house clean, but I make more in a week than a maid costs, and maybe if we can have someone come by just every couple of weeks...then I'll have a lot more peace of mind instead of constantly feeling guilty about the house being a wreck. Oh, and I wouldn't try pills either. I actually did when I was single, working on my first degree, working full time, and had to maintain a 3.5 to keep my scholarship. I popped diet pills to stay awake. I almost never ate, and I had to have a drink/take a sleeping pill to get in any real sleep when I had the time. I wouldn't recommend it, not exactly the healthiest way to go about things.

lisabeth · Mar 26, 2007

I really kind of think it is more shear exhaustion than anything else. Probably lightening her load some would help tremendously.

i am sorry that YOU took that as insulting.....read her post critically with a clinical eye....she gets "enough" sleep but is questioning the quality....has a full time job school parttime ....and a partner who doesnt appear to be contributing to the extent she desires....possibly=anger, possibly=depression

LMRN10 · Mar 27, 2007

Thanks everyone for your responses!!

I can't and don't nap through the day as I have a full-time job. I do try to study on the weekends when my daughter is napping, but I feel like when I'm really getting into it, she's waking up. Just don't feel like I can focus...so, I'll just need to set up some library time or time at school to focus on my studying while my husband stays at home with her for a few hours.

As far as depression, it does actually run in my family, but I have been tested for it in the past and I am not depressed. I have been before and I know how it feels to be depressed, but that's not it. I am definitely just exhausted by the end of the day.

I am going to try to turn over a new leaf...I am going to start eating healthier and I am doing this thing at work that basically forces us to work out, so that is a plus!! I'm praying once I start doing that, I will feel much different and that will allow me to WANT to continue in that path!!! And I am going to also buy some vitamins and try to remember to take that every day (I have a tendency to forget!!)

Thanks again everyone for your suggestions!!!

DTCC PreRN · Mar 27, 2007

:twocents:

I read the thread and feel like I need to add something here. No amount of diet or exercise is going to fix the lack of support you have at home. I have to ask if you and your husband discussed, in detail, your desire to become a nurse and the commitment it would take from the entire family.

I'm in a similar situation - 13 year old daughter who participates in band/piano/sports that she has to be ushered to and fro - not to mention the homework she sometimes needs help with. I also have a husband.

When I decided to go back to school to become a nurse I had a heart-to-heart with my husband and showed him my program of study. We worked out a plan where I would attend classes two nights a week and one day a weekend I would join a classmate for a study group. During the week I may not have an opportunity to begin my homework/studying until 9/10pm. (As a wife and mother I cook dinner at home M/W/F). This is my way of thanking them for being so flexible.

In addition to a full-time job, full-time mother and wife, I've now added school to the equation. This impacts my family drastically.

Help your husband understand that this isn't play time for you. He needs to understand the classes you're taking and the amount of time it will take each week to study/do homework. Additionally, you can not expect him to have dad duty the majority of the time. He may become resentful. It doesn't sound like he fully understands what you expect of him. Sometimes you have to spell it out.

After showing my husband my plan and setting expectations up front, we don't have any conflicts. After I finish my pre-reqs I intend to quit work and concentrate on school full-time. I would never be able to do it without the support of my husband and daughter. I owe it all to setting their expectations up front.

I hope this helps and I truly hope that you can find that magical balance. It's it horrible to feel so stressed out.

LMRN10 · Mar 28, 2007

I read the thread and feel like I need to add something here. No amount of diet or exercise is going to fix the lack of support you have at home. I have to ask if you and your husband discussed, in detail, your desire to become a nurse and the commitment it would take from the entire family.

I'm in a similar situation - 13 year old daughter who participates in band/piano/sports that she has to be ushered to and fro - not to mention the homework she sometimes needs help with. I also have a husband.

When I decided to go back to school to become a nurse I had a heart-to-heart with my husband and showed him my program of study. We worked out a plan where I would attend classes two nights a week and one day a weekend I would join a classmate for a study group. During the week I may not have an opportunity to begin my homework/studying until 9/10pm. (As a wife and mother I cook dinner at home M/W/F). This is my way of thanking them for being so flexible.

In addition to a full-time job, full-time mother and wife, I've now added school to the equation. This impacts my family drastically.

Help your husband understand that this isn't play time for you. He needs to understand the classes you're taking and the amount of time it will take each week to study/do homework. Additionally, you can not expect him to have dad duty the majority of the time. He may become resentful. It doesn't sound like he fully understands what you expect of him. Sometimes you have to spell it out.

After showing my husband my plan and setting expectations up front, we don't have any conflicts. After I finish my pre-reqs I intend to quit work and concentrate on school full-time. I would never be able to do it without the support of my husband and daughter. I owe it all to setting their expectations up front.

I hope this helps and I truly hope that you can find that magical balance. It's it horrible to feel so stressed out.

At this point, I certainly don't expect him to have daddy duty all the time, but then again, I have been the sole caretaker of my daughter when we are at home up until the present. I was able to take numerous online courses after her birth and this is my first semester actually back at school since she was born. So, yes, I have been caring for her 100% of the time, even while taking online courses. So, personally, I don't feel I am asking too much by expecting him to suck it up and be an almost full-time dad when I begin the program. I am not talking about right now while I am in my last pre-req, but when the Nursing program begins. I remind him time and time again how hectic it IS going to be when I begin my Nursing classes. We have certainly discussed this time and time again and he doesn't want me to stop pursuing my dream because we had a child. I don't think that he truly realizes how much time I will actually be away. BUT, he does realize how this will change US as a family, both during and after I get my degree. Sacrafices will have to be made, but it will be worth it.

My husband and I will be fine through the schooling...we have been through much worse, trust me!! That's why I was saying in order to get studying in, I may need to just stay back at school after class and do it there...that way there are no interruptions!

As far as exercise and eating healthy not helping with that...I know that, but I think it will help ME feel better and help ME get the energy back that I need. That is part of the battle I think and once I start doing that, it will help!! I do have a lot on my plate, but I make it work...for now (but tired in the process due to many things I think)!! I'm more concerned about when the Nursing program begins, but we will adjust. And I will make that work as well...somehow!

If I had to take a day on the weekend to study and my husband were home and not working, he would certainly let me go to the library if I really needed to get studying done, but not without complaining - that is my biggest issue with him!!! So, because of that, I hate asking!!

He has a hard time giving up "his" time (but it's ok that all of my time has been given up since my daughter was born). It is slowly changing and he is slowly adapting, but not as quickly as me...granted I am her mother though, so I have had that instinct from the beginning!

Also, I do have my family and I am positive they will help when necessary. I just hate to ask them...I feel like my husband and I should be able to balance this on our own. Something I am going to have to get over!!!

Thanks all for your input!!! I really do appreciate it. It actually feels good to actually talk about this!!!!

Wondergirl0905 · Mar 30, 2007

Anyone who goes to school, plus works AND has children deserves more credit than anyone could ever give. I work full-time during the day, am in school two nights a week - no kids yet - and I'm even exhausted lately. I couldn't begin to imagine how much harded it would be with an addition to our family - so hats off to you!!! Hopefully your husband will come around, but unfortunately women are often expected to do everything all the time and deal with it.

How is your nutrition? I think one reason I'm so tired lately might be an iron deficiency. I'm vegetarian so I'm not getting what I need, even with multi-vitamin supplements. Blood test next month to find out for sure.

Good luck!

LPNCieBan · Mar 31, 2007

I always feel tired all the time to and I know it's because I'm not eating the way I'm suppose to. I will start to eat healthier and get in shape for my health and school.