Slightly amusing call, and tattoos

[TheNewDino]

i've been trying for a while now to get into a cna class and the interviews for long term care facilities that would sponsor me keep changing (which is really annoying :angryfire and a long story). so needless to say i couldn't get work off for the interview that was at seaside on saturday - i'm lucky enough to get the day off for the last interview on thursday at falmouth.

well i get a phone call today from seaside, telling me i wasn't accepted. i was probably the easiest person for the woman on the other line had to break the news to - simply because i didn't get to go to the interview therefore there wasn't even a thought in my mind about the place let alone being accepted there. so i had to laugh. but then it got me thinking now that i've heard the words, "you've not been accepted" i'm afraid i may end up hearing them again after i do have an interview at the other place and how devastating that would be. i've been preparing myself for school this year, leaving my apartment and moving back into my father's (because i know i won't be able to afford school and rent, especially after cutting back on hours to take the classes). i also want to do this before i start school next fall - that is if i'm accepted but at this community trade school, everyone says i'll get in - for nursing/behavioral health. i know i'll be in school for quite a few years (because i can't go full time), and i want to start this whole process as soon as possible and i really really really want to become a cna to work as one while taking classes to get into the environment and start doing something that actually matters.

i never did good in high school (because i didn't care back then), i have a few tattoos (which i will talk about below), not only at the interview will i be wearing a long sleeved shirt but i'll probably also wear them at work, whether it's required or not because i've had a lot of people of all sorts backgrounds but mostly elderly react negatively - even though all my tats are positive and i honestly don't know how to react other than defending myself and my freedom of choice on my own body. a lot of the time i just say "i know i'll get old and saggy and my ink will fade and turn green. my grandfather has tattoos and i see what's happened to them. i'm not worried about it, i've accepted the inevitable when choosing to do this and i think they're beautiful, new or old."

i've also had a history of social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia :chair: , the latter has disappeared completely but i still get panic attacks from time to time around areas and people i don't know. i'm nervous and i wouldn't be surprised if i forget my own name!

eh, needles to say i'm nervous about the interview coming up. wish me luck, i'll need it.

as for the tattoos, if you're interested, and because i love :heartbeat them so much, i'll describe my tatts to you (not in full detail of course, then i'd be telling you my whole life story =p )

1.) black and gray. a heart on my left shoulder with a ribbon that says mom. i got this 3 months after i turned 18. i wish i had drawn it myself but since it was my first and it was a very simple design i used a flash drawing. i call it my "mom tattoo"

2.) a tribal type of design that covers about 90% of my right forearm, all black except for a red bead in the middle. i found the design online my freshman year of high school and always knew i would get it at some point, but didn't know where. i ended up getting this almost as impulse after getting away from an abusive 2 year relationship. i call it my "free tattoo"

3.) this was just for fun, and almost tribute of my style in high school. i used to wear a ton of bracelets, i got up to 98 total from each arm. well after i stopped wearing them (it was quite inconvenient as you could imagine) my arms felt so naked without bracelets (i couldn't wear even one because i worked in a restaurant). so i used a design i used to draw on my wrist all the time when i was bored in study hall. it's a very simplified barbed wire, all black, very slim. i call this my "bracelet"

4.) this one was extremely important to me and took months to design and a few years to get. i had trouble with self injury, which i personally consider an addiction - i'm not sure how the medical world view this. i promised myself, that if i could go a full year without hurting myself in any way, that i would get a very special tattoo. when i finally finished the design it ended up being a drawing of myself in cartoon form (i used to draw comics as journal entries that were quite entertaining, then again most of them you'd have to be there to laugh), and i was stitching my broken heart back together and i had wings. though my drawing abilities are limited, it came out amazing and the only part i didn't do myself (besides the actual tattooing lol) was the shading, and the artist who did that really outdid himself. so of course, this is my favorite tattoo. oh yeah, and it's 9 inches long and 4 inches wide on the side of my right calve. of course, when strangers ask me what the reason for this tattoo is, i just tell them it's my "recovery tattoo" and leave it at that, as too avoid embarrassment and any more bad looks (some scars are still quite visible but it seems the tattoos keep their eyes off them)

soon to be a part of me will be # 5. i'm having a hard time drawing this (ever since that last one, the joy of having one you created yourself is so much more than that of one found, it just makes it that much more personal). it's going to be a giraffe facing forward in front of a full moon, it will have the same silhouette of the girl on my other calve. only problem is i can't draw animals at all, so i may have to go to an artist. anyway, this will be (yet another) tribute to my mother. i'm getting it in october (5 years after she passed). this one is important to me (obviously) and my father and i have been talking of getting a giraffe tattoo ever since my 17th birthday when he wrote me a letter and gave me a giraffe stuffed animal. the letter basically told me how 2 days before she died (she was on a lot of morphine; ps it was cervical cancer) she pointed to the ceiling and said "look a giraffe!" then she look into my father's eyes and said, "whenever you see a giraffe just think of me and know that i love you."

the other 2 tattoos planed (though i do want more after these, i'm not going to rush into anything and i will wait a couple years before i start designing anymore) for next year i will be getting on my shoulders. one will be a simple black dragon that i drew because of my love (ok maybe it's almost an obsession) with them (you should see how many statues and things i have, my rooms a little castle of dragons and gargoyles and knights and wizards...). the other one will go "behind" the mom tattoo (because after all my other tattoos this looks foolish being so small). it will be another drawing of mine, a star with fire that i draw with my signature, it will also have a similar silhouette of the dragon.

wow that was long. alright, so now that i'm tattaly off topic i'll just end this. and if you want i'd love to hear any advice (reply here or just pm me) for interviews as well as stories about your tattoos, if you have them of course! what they are, what they represent, how it affects you at work/school, how other people seem to react to them and how do you respond to them?

~michelle

[TheNewDino]

oh and i almost forgot, somethign else that was amusing. i got in the mail today a piece of cardboard. yes, a piece of cardboard (at least 14"x12") that was sent to me. at first i thought, wtf? maybe someone is playing a trick on me. maybe someone cut the top of a package off and left this for me? it was sent by the american nurses association.

very confused i thought, well, it could be posible there's someting inside the single piece of brown cardboard. so after tearing through a few layers, i did indeed find something. it was two pieces of paper with info about financial aid for nursing education.

paper... two pieces of paper, one of which was folded so it's not like they were trying to keep it flat, sent in a piece of cardboard. *scratches head*

i don't understand it, but it sure made me laugh.

what's wrong with an envelope?

~michelle

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

oh and i almost forgot, somethign else that was amusing. i got in the mail today a piece of cardboard. yes, a piece of cardboard (at least 14"x12") that was sent to me. at first i thought, wtf? maybe someone is playing a trick on me. maybe someone cut the top of a package off and left this for me? it was sent by the american nurses association.

very confused i thought, well, it could be posible there's someting inside the single piece of brown cardboard. so after tearing through a few layers, i did indeed find something. it was two pieces of paper with info about financial aid for nursing education.

paper... two pieces of paper, one of which was folded so it's not like they were trying to keep it flat, sent in a piece of cardboard. *scratches head*

i don't understand it, but it sure made me laugh.

what's wrong with an envelope?

~michelle

:rotfl: i probably would have tossed it thinking it was a prank.

i am sorry about the rejection call, but hey you seem to be very positive and know what you have to do to keep trying elsewhere. :)

about the tats, i have 5 myself. all well hidden that few people know i have them. i too love them, but keep them out of sight in the professinal arena.

good luck.