RN School and Family Life

[Mommy2010]

Hi everyone. I am so confused on what to do right now it's not even funny. So here it goes!

I have three kids ages 4, 2 and 1. For the most part they are good, but my 1 year old is the most challenging. He is getting ready to walk soon! My 2 year old has vesicoureteral reflux of her kidneys so I am expecting surgery for her sometimes in the future. My 4 year old has strabismus and sees her eye doctor usually every 2-3 months and will be getting another surgery here soon too. So as you can see, our plates are mighty full!

Since 2008, I have wanted to go back to school for nursing (this is when my first was born). My hubby said that I could as long as I worked on top of it. Well at this time, I was working 40 hours a week. So I told him I couldn't if I had to still work. Baby #2 came in 2010 so I wanted to go back again and again opted out because now I had 2 children to care for and I was working around 30 hours a week. Baby #3 came in 2011 (wasn't planned) and wanted to start in Spring 2012, but I was forced to quit my job so now I am a stay at home mom. I am happy to be home because my kids are hardly sick and I get the added bonus of spending time with them.

Now that I am 27 years old and I am not getting younger, so many people have told me different things. I was told to go now while the kids are young that way they don't remember it and then you can enjoy them more when they get older. I have been told another to wait and go when they are older that way you don't have to feel guilty of losing time with them while they are young and you will have better study times.

I am enrolled to go this Fall 2012 but I have at least 4 classes to pass before being on the waiting list. Then I have to be on the list for 1 year and I will be able to do clinicals. I have been told the easiest is to take the clinicals by themselves since they are so difficult!

I know the house will not be the cleanest and the laundry will pile up, but that I can sacrifice. I am more scared if one of the children gets sick and I have to go to class for a few hours. My husband works nights right now but he will be on days hopefully within the next year or so. Last year, our children were so sick from stomach flus and we were hit with 2 respiratory flus and RSV. It was aweful! I cannot imagine surviving this while in school. Now that the kids are not in daycare nor a babysitter, they have been very healthy. I am hoping that the 4 months I have had them has helped build up their immunity a little bit.

I know that our school has a zero tolerance policy on tardiness and absences. I don't think you can miss more than 1 day. Now when I get into clinicals, since the kids will be older, I am hoping it will be better. I am expecting that my pre requisites will take me around 2 years or more. I am very fortunate that my college is only 2 mins from my house and this is the main reason why I felt now is the time to go back. Aside from the fact I have no college degree and I really love helping people. I am not in nursing for the money. If I was, I wouldn't go into it because nurses go through hell and they should deserve a better paycheck. My concern lies on my children. Since I won't spend as much time with them, I feel guilty. Then I don't know how I will get studying time in. I can study after the kids are in bed, but they aren't normally in bed until 9pm at the latest. This gives me only about 2 hours of studying time. Now, my 2 and 1 year olds still take naps so I understand I can study during this time, but it is very rare if they nap at the same time. I can study with my two oldest around because normally they are well behaved. Then another thing I have to worry about is getting my oldest ready for kindergarden. She is starting in 2013 and I want to be sure she is ready. Plus my 2 year old needs to start learning things too. My goal was to get crafts for them and learning tools so that they are learning things. But how do I expect to fix breakfast/lunch/dinner, teach my kids, study, do homework, etc.? My parents can help out on the weekends, but during the week is the help I need. Without me working, my hubby works 6-7 days a week and sometimes it is hard to make the house payment (over $1,000/month). I have tried finding a sitter to come to the house but most of the people way overcharge or they want a Mon-Fri job. I can only give them about 3 days a week if that.

Can someone please give me some insight here? I am confused. Should I just go now and start getting the classes out of the way or should I stay home and wait until my kids are older and hopefully we are out of the woods for surgeries? PLEASE HELP ME!

[Stephalump]

I had my frat kid in high school and went straight to college after I graduated. I continued to have kids as I went through school for another degree and then did nursing prereqs. I have 3 kids (1, 4, and 9) going into nursing school. Basically I'll have been in college for 10 years by the time I graduate with my nursing degree...all with kids.

You just DO it. Is it harder than it would be without kids? I don't have any experience to compare it to, but I'm sure is. However, it's your life and it's your dreams. When obstacles present themselves, you can have a good cry and a long talk with your best friend and then bust through like a bulldozer :)

[klstaley]

Is there a Hybrid program in your area? I have 2 young children (2 & 3) and being in the hybrid program has really helped our family situation. All of my lectures are online in powerpoints, my labs are in the evenings at the school, and clinicals vary from either on the weekend or in the evening during the week. This has helped us tremendously because while I'm at school my husband who works days is at home with the kids.

[Halcyonn]

I suggest reaching out to family and friends to help with situations like that. I have small children, 2 years old and 10 months. I have talked with neighbors about watching the kids and/or picking them up from school when they get sick. You have to plan for contingencies to the best of your ability.

On a slightly related note...

My 10 month old was recently diagnosed with bi-lateral kidney reflux. Have you exhausted prophylactic antibiotics? I'm meeting with a pediatric urologist next month. I am curious as to your experience with the condition.

[OnMyWay23]

I am a firm believer in going after what you know in your heart you want. However, that being said, I also understand some of your struggles. My kids are older than yours...10, 12, and 15 now. But my middle child has vesicoureteral reflux and multi-cystic kidney disease as well and my other 2 have ASD. Nursing is a career I wanted to already be established in. At the time however, with the constant visits to the urologist and nephrologist for my daughter as well as therapy for my boys there was no way I could do it. And that was with support at the time that I could have had watch them or cover their appointments. I just felt that at that time in my life what I needed to concentrate on my kids.

Now, with all that being said, it does not mean you can't do it! Get yourself a back up plan, get a back up to your back and one to that even. Try to schedule your classes to were you have a day you are done early or a day you are off completely. I try to leave myself a day open for all appointments. Are you for certain facing surgery for your daughter? We were blessed in the fact that she stayed infection free and the reflux subsided, so no surgery was necessary. You have to search within yourself to see what is right for you and your situation. No 2 people's situations are exactly the same. But you have to be prepared to have someone else stand in for you on appointments or sick days if you want to go to school now.

Weigh your pros and cons, listen to your heart, talk to your family. After all that, make your decision. Just make sure it is a decision you can stick with and never regret it. Life takes you down paths for a reason! Best of luck to you and you family as well :)

[ArrowRN, BSN, RN]

Just start your prerequsities even if its 1 or 2 classes. I started mine in 2008,got 2 kids, worked fulltime, it took me 4 years to complete (took 1 year off to help wife with newborn),but now I got my AA and finally applied to nursing schools for 2013. Had I waited nothing would have gotten done. Some classes have options for hybrids and just go in for the labs, if you don't mind studying at home, I just mainly studied around 12-3am when everyone else sleeps, wake at 7am for work. It was not easy. I don't know what will happen once i get in nursing school in spring. I will just figure it out when that time comes, but one way or another I plan to be an RN by 2014. Just set small goals,work at it and you will get there too.

[Wrench Party]

Plenty of mothers (and fathers) with young and older children are in my program,

they are making it work. Strategies I have observed:

1) They have made friends with other families in our program, and trade off childcare, especially

if their clinical days and work schedules are opposite of each other. The added benefit is their

children get socialization and playmates.

2) They all have strong support networks. Supportive families, husbands/partners, friends. Quite a few

have rejoined churches of some sort, if only to have the built in support network that provides.

3) Take advantage of the college environment and try to find an early education major or other student

to babysit. Students are the type of person who have weird 4-5 hour gaps in their schedules, 3x a week,

who wouldn't mind picking up some extra cash.

4) Parents are scheduling pros. They always seek out opportunities to maximize studying efficiency

(using mobile apps,carrying flashcards, carving out time to do work).

5) Technology is your friend. Ipads, droids, laptops, make it easy to stay organized and take your

work with you.

[Newme17]

I had my daughter dec 2011 and decided after I had her to become a nurse. I enrolled jan 2012 to take some more pre-reqs. I took bio and human growth and development in the spring. People think I'm absolutely crazy. I'm going to be 32 this month, I work 40 hrs a week and am taking a&p 1 and chemistry right now. My goal is to take a&p 2 and micro biology next spring and hopefully get accepted into the nursing program next fall. Oh, and because my life is not crazy enough my husband and I are debating whether or not to have another baby next summer. Basically what I'm trying to say is, if you want something bad enough you're gonna make it work. I never really cared for school but I've been enjoying every class I'm in. Good luck!