Anyone entered PICU nursing already a parent?

[lgl525]

I'm deciding between a PICU and mixed adult ICU position. I feel like my heart is in the PICU -- a really incredible environment, the smartest and kindest care providers I have met. I loved it.

I'm worried about not being able to handle it entering already a mother, however. Will it make me paranoid about my own children? Will it break me?

I thought pretty hard about PICU/parenthood before even applying for this position. Reading that so many of the children recover and go home makes me feel as if it is possible to center things on that -- all the lives being saved. Adult ICU is not a happy place. Overall, kids often seem to recover amazingly well.

I already feel extra fortunate for my healthy children after the small amount of time I have spent in the PICU -- there are of course a fair number of children with congenital issues or prematurity that have predisposed them to illness. I think I'm okay there. Its those children who were typically developing then suddenly became this ill, will they leave me constantly devastated/terrified? How do I know without taking this position?

For any who entered already a parent, how was the transition? Do people do ok?

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

Have you been offered these jobs? If not, then don't think on it at this time, may not come about. If you have , list pros and cons and move from there. Good luck!

[lgl525]

Yes, I have. Already listed pros and cons. I know what my heart says -- that isn't the question. :)

My main question was what I can not answer for myself -- if there is a higher rate of emotional devastation amongst nurses who enter as parents or if it tends to work out okay.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

You are the only one who can answer if its right for you. One person will say they can't handle it, another will say its no big deal. Go with your heart. If you don't like it, switch. As far as pros and con's, I meant benefits etc.

[lgl525]

Right, sorry, that's what I meant as pros and cons as well. Its very hard to tell from one tour and a few hrs shadowing how I'd feel every day. My heart loved it -- I'm just nervous.

I suppose ability to switch is another question. Is there going back from peds nursing, should I find PICU not for me?

Thanks.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

I was not only a mom when I started working in the PICU, I was the mom of a PICU graduate. I've only had a couple of situations that were really difficult emotionally. My worst fear for a long time was that I'd walk onto the unit one day and see one of my kids' friends in a bed. Then it happened. And although the child ultimately died, I was able to handle it. After my kids became adults, I started to fear that one day I'd walk onto the unit and see one of their friends next to a bed. Then that happened. I was able to support that family in the same way I support all the other families, and they appreciated having someone they knew and trusted around.

Some PICU nurses will tell you that they often have a hard time with over-identification. They see a child the same age as their own child and become emotional, then unable to continue. But many of the nurses I work with are able to manage their feelings well enough most of the time that it isn't a problem for them. You're right to be nervous. But don't let it become such a bogeyman that you shut yourself off from what might be the best move you've ever made. You won't know if you don't try. And what's the worst that can happen? You find it too hard and you go back to what you were doing before. Best wishes.

[lgl525]

Thank you, so much. You're absolutely right. I feel like this is where my heart is. I appreciate your thoughts.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

...They see a child the same age as their own child and become emotional, then unable to continue. But many of the nurses I work with are able to manage their feelings well enough most of the time that it isn't a problem for them...

Yes! This! I'm not a PICU nurse, but was a psych nurse. To the core. Not disturbed by pretty much most things I see.

Then I went back to school and wound up in clinical rotations on a children's floor and ended up with 1 pt my daughters age and 1 pt my sons age. It really affected me. Because I overly identified. I was able to pull myself together, though. But my eyes watered. I still remember the details of their hx and think of those children.

I think that the fact that you're aware of the potential for counter transference, you'll be effective in your role.

Best wishes!

[lgl525]

Thank you, so much. I think you're right -- those kiddos close to my daughters' ages will be difficult. But I'll get through it and get to go home and feel extra fortunate as I give mine an extra hug.

Thanks again. Appreciate the thoughts and insight from those who have been there!

[SarahNYC]

I'm a mom and a PICU nurse. I didn't think I'd be able to do PICU, but ended up here as a student and I love it. I always wanted peds and feel like I make a difference and a connection with my return patients and their families. It's hard to get into a PICU, so I'd say take the opportunity and you can always switch to adults later.

[bebbercorn]

As a mom who has done plenty of peds, I have collected the saddest of stories. I can tell you it will get to you sometimes. Then again, there are plenty of adults that have gotten me, too. I don't think it has made me any more paranoid but it has changed a little how I handle complaints (like, jump up and down if your belly hurts for appendicitis check). I make sure they are strapped in tightly, and I tell parents to bolt their flat screen TV's. It is hard when you have a loss close to your kids age, but being there for the parents is a reward in itself. There are days when all you can do is hug your kids extra tight and feel grateful for what you have. I vote for following your heart.

[softrbreeze]

For me there certainly was. I had an infant and a toddler when I started PICU nursing- went home crying nearly everyday. I called it quits after 3 months. But everyone is different. It may be your niche. You won't know until you try :)