Funny things said by ortho surgeons in the OR

  1. I had a t-shirt made with all of these quotes from our ortho surgeons. They had no idea how funny it sounded when they said it, but my warped mind thought they were HILARIOUS! Hope you enjoy it!

    You know you are an orthopaedic surgical nurse when you hear:

    1. "That is one long screw. Think it is too long?" (calcaneal ORIF)

    2. "We are one screw away from calling this a victory!" (difficult hardware removal-we had 8 to remove...two hours later, our surgeon yells this out.)

    3. "This lady screamed and screamed all night, so we had to nail her." (A surgeon replying to the question of why we had canceled the scheduled gamma nail case.)

    4. "You can get me out for lunch when we finish screwing." (a tech not wanting to leave until the implants were in)

    5. "There is no way that that giant screw is going to fit into that tiny hole." (a new resident not believing he drilled enough)

    6. "Just keep drilling. I will tell you when to stop. But you should be able to feel it." (our attending to the same new resident)

    7. "This screwing is making me break a sweat! I thought this was supposed to be easy!" (yep, same resident)

    8. "How am I supposed to drill if you don't keep sucking? Suck please!" (an attending who was getting fed up with the med student not paying attention to the field)

    9. "A good assistant will always suck for you without having to be asked." (this one just went all over me! It was the same med student, and after a while, the exasperated attending said "you are a med student right? You should get a t-**** that says 'I am a med student. I suck'." I think he may have gotten written up for that one!)

    10. "The posterior screw is the most important screw." (attending teaching the resident the finer points of doing a compression screw for a hip fx)

    11. "You should really suck down in there before we bang the nail in." (fair warning given to the new resident by the attending to suction out the femoral canal before hammering in the gamma nail or he and the rest of us will be covered with flying blood!)

    12. "Suck beans until they get hard." (I think this surgeon just likes to say this. He could just say that he is ready for the bean bag to be suctioned.)

    13. "If you aren't strong enough to hold the leg while we drill, you should find another occupation." (attending to a wimpy and complaining med student)

    14. "I think we are done screwing. Let's wash and close." (our chief resident announcing the end of the case)

    15. "That is one beautiful screw. Save that." (attending admiring his ORIF on the c-arm)
  2. Visit canesdukegirl profile page

    About canesdukegirl, BSN

    Joined: Jul '10; Posts: 2,898; Likes: 7,177
    OR nursing; from US
    Specialty: 14 year(s) of experience in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management


  3. by   goats'r'us
    assigning nicknames
    'you can be Charlie, the sassy civilian instructor. I'll be maverick. Bold, skillful...'

    sorry, this isn't top gun.
  4. by   SandraCVRN
    You need to listen to this......
  5. by   canesdukegirl
    Quote from SandraCVRN
    You need to listen to this......
    One of my docs sent this to me while I was on vacation last week and I laughed till I cried! It is SOOOO true! I do charge every other Monday, and this is kind of the way it goes when a new resident is trying to post a case. VERY funny stuff! Did you see the Anesthesia vs. Neurosurgery clip? Funny!
  6. by   smithd5
    Those videos are too funny! I will be sharing them with my co-workers ASAP!
  7. by   SandraCVRN
    one of the reasons this was so funny that yesterday we had an add-on ankle. train wreck of a history, cabg 2 months ago, abd distended since fall...cleared about 2 minutes before coming down. looks like you know what, wife keeps saying "something is just not right about him"

    anes, hemhaws about going, get just about to the rooms and he says "i feel bad" looked like he was about to code, never did. anes finally grows a pair and cancels case, pt to micu, yada, yada, yada. surgeon ...well, that fx really needs to be fixed...

    i saw he was scheduled again today, no longer in micu but intermediate care. cancelled again today hgb 7.5 ......

    all together now.........there is a fx, i need to fix it...............
  8. by   GadgetRN71
    Lol! Too funny! I also do ortho all the time and all of these things I've heard in form or another. I had one doctor tell a tech that he needed some thing long and stiff. That got a giggle out of me too.

    Oh I just watched the first video,and I was crying I was laughing so hard.
    Last edit by GadgetRN71 on Aug 5, '10
  9. by   mrsilly
    Hey Canes! I know who you are.. can you figure out who I am? I work with you! :-)
  10. by   canesdukegirl
    Hey little sister!
  11. by   Marvie
    *GASP*...............(sucking air into lungs)......I think I hurt myself from laughing!!!!!!
  12. by   mcmike55
    So often something said during surgery can be taken the wrong way, and Ortho seems to be the easiest target!!

    "that's what she says" it the punch line in our OR.
    I swear, during one long day in the ortho room, I bet we said that line 90 times!!

    Some lines that come to mind....

    "You hold it, and I'll put it in" during an IM rod insertion

    "I'm not sure it's big enough" followed by "that's big enough for anyone" again, during an IM rod case

    "Positioning is very important" getting ready for a hip prosthesis case

    Making up a T shirt with these printed on it is brilliant !!!

    This is a posting that could take on a life of it's own!

  13. by   wartthree
    12. "Suck beans until they get hard." (I think this surgeon just likes to say this. He could just say that he is ready for the bean bag to be suctioned.)

    OMG...Cant wait to tell my docs this!!!! Who else finds themselves giggling at our desks sometimes?? I DO!!!!
  14. by   PetiteOpRN
    On why he avoids hand surgery:

    "I'm just not comfortable with bones I could easily swallow."