I had a t-shirt made with all of these quotes from our ortho surgeons. They had no idea how funny it sounded when they said it, but my warped mind thought they were HILARIOUS! Hope you enjoy it!
You know you are an orthopaedic surgical nurse when you hear:
1. "That is one long screw. Think it is too long?" (calcaneal ORIF)
2. "We are one screw away from calling this a victory!" (difficult hardware removal-we had 8 to remove...two hours later, our surgeon yells this out.)
3. "This lady screamed and screamed all night, so we had to nail her." (A surgeon replying to the question of why we had canceled the scheduled gamma nail case.)
4. "You can get me out for lunch when we finish screwing." (a tech not wanting to leave until the implants were in)
5. "There is no way that that giant screw is going to fit into that tiny hole." (a new resident not believing he drilled enough)
6. "Just keep drilling. I will tell you when to stop. But you should be able to feel it." (our attending to the same new resident)
7. "This screwing is making me break a sweat! I thought this was supposed to be easy!" (yep, same resident)
8. "How am I supposed to drill if you don't keep sucking? Suck please!" (an attending who was getting fed up with the med student not paying attention to the field)
9. "A good assistant will always suck for you without having to be asked." (this one just went all over me! It was the same med student, and after a while, the exasperated attending said "you are a med student right? You should get a t-**** that says 'I am a med student. I suck'." I think he may have gotten written up for that one!)
10. "The posterior screw is the most important screw." (attending teaching the resident the finer points of doing a compression screw for a hip fx)
11. "You should really suck down in there before we bang the nail in." (fair warning given to the new resident by the attending to suction out the femoral canal before hammering in the gamma nail or he and the rest of us will be covered with flying blood!)
12. "Suck beans until they get hard." (I think this surgeon just likes to say this. He could just say that he is ready for the bean bag to be suctioned.)
13. "If you aren't strong enough to hold the leg while we drill, you should find another occupation." (attending to a wimpy and complaining med student)
14. "I think we are done screwing. Let's wash and close." (our chief resident announcing the end of the case)
15. "That is one beautiful screw. Save that." (attending admiring his ORIF on the c-arm)
PetiteOpRN
326 Posts
On why he avoids hand surgery:
"I'm just not comfortable with bones I could easily swallow."