Please help me with my new Customer-er...I mean Pt

NurseShelly · Apr 23, 2007

Let me get this straight......she's pushing 50 and her mother is speaking for her??
I don't think there is anything you can do except laugh. I know I am.

That's exactly what I was thinking. But seriously, I hate taking care of someone who AO X 3, a legal adult, and someone else is doing all the talking for them. That just irks me.

purple1953reading · Apr 23, 2007

I had the same age patient and it was her 4th child and she was a instructor of nursing at the Univ. The first time she rang was to complain that there was no LIVER on her tray. SHE had a baby, and needed it, and was to have it on every tray. Then she rang and asked for a paper cup. I casually inquired if she wanted ice in it, and she said" ARE YOU IGNORANT? I need it to pee in, I can't possibley sit down to pee.!!" WHAT? We tried to keep her in privacy so she would not influence any of the sane moms.

scizzerin · Apr 23, 2007

Crappy attitudes come in all shapes, sizes and departments. I had my daughter @ 30 wks, and would have LOVED to make it to 37 wks!

pepperann35 · Apr 23, 2007

Yeah, I wouldn't stereotype regarding age - it is like saying all nurses eat their young and you know we've done away with that old wives' tale;) . . .she has probably always been a bit of a prima donna.
I was surprised to read that patients are supposed to measure and empty their own urine . .. wow, how do you know they are being honest?
We do that for them where I work.
(old mom here -43- for the 4th baby) ;)
steph

I think that is just great!

crissrn27, RN · Apr 23, 2007

OK guys, you don't like the stereotypes being brought to the forefront by some posters, so don't stereotype the teen moms either, OK? I don't think any 14 y/o is "selfish" for having a baby and wanting to keep it. I think she most likely could have used a lot more parental guidance. And she is a kid. Give her a break. Also, let me say, my favorite pt ever was a 44 y/o G1 IVF mom, she was so "down to earth" and a pleasure to work with. I usually have great older G1's. I get all sorts of ages with the attitude the OP describes....from 13-50. Its not an age group, its a personality disorder:rotfl:

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 23, 2007

I had the same age patient and it was her 4th child and she was a instructor of nursing at the Univ. The first time she rang was to complain that there was no LIVER on her tray. SHE had a baby, and needed it, and was to have it on every tray. Then she rang and asked for a paper cup. I casually inquired if she wanted ice in it, and she said" ARE YOU IGNORANT? I need it to pee in, I can't possibley sit down to pee.!!" WHAT? We tried to keep her in privacy so she would not influence any of the sane moms.

Ok, let me get this straight: a woman with supposedly normal taste buds is requesting liver on every meal tray? AND is angry when it's not automatically there for some bizarre reason? And this "instructor of nursing" believes that she "needs" to eat LIVER?? ROFL....

As for the prima donna syndrome, I can assure you that comes in all ages :)

I'm so NOT an OB nurse, but of course had a rotation in school for that. And will never forget the 20-something with her second child, who was every bit the princess described in the first post! She needed me to hold her baby so she could get her earrings on....and her makeup....and could I keep holding him while visitors were there, so she could "talk without having to watch him"??

Yeah. Life must be wonderful for that first toddler :uhoh21:

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Apr 24, 2007

Princesses come from all walks of life. I do not deal well with them.

I have met 15 year olds with their first baby who knew what they were doing a million times better than a 41yo primip who didn't know a dollar from a donut. I have also seen 15 yo's who shouldn't be taking care of a rock much less a child, and 43 yos who were so happy to have a baby, she didn't care that the baby might not live independently (trisomy 21) and spent the first weeks of her life in intensive care.

But I understand KellNY's frustration at the sense of entitlement "just because I'm me."

BabyRN2Be · Apr 24, 2007

yes, some women have their first babies when they are that old. sometimes it's by choice, but sometimes it's because they tried and tried to have babies when they were a more "appropriate" age, and it just never happened. but it's happened now and they're ecstatic and they're going to enjoy it no matter that the baby's father was a one-night stand from their wild business trip to omaha and they haven't seen him since, no matter that their husband left them for his much-younger assistant years ago and no matter that irritating youngsters find it somehow distasteful to see a middle-aged woman having a child.

how is it irresponsible or selfish? that woman probably had a job with benefits and a living wage, a home, and the financial resources to care for her child. selfish and irresponsible would be having a child at 14 when you have no job, no income and no home but keeping the baby because "it will love me" while you continue partying like the teenager you are and leave the child alone or dump it on your parents.

her attitude sucked, i'll give you that. but i also find the attitude of someone who called a woman "irresponsible and selfish" merely because she was in her forties and having a child somewhat sucky as well.

thank you, thank you ruby for this post.

i really try to let things roll off my back, but i must say that some of these posts have disturbed me a little bit. i know that you all are venting, and that's just fine. but blanket statements are being made about a whole segment of people who are choosing to give birth later in life.

this concerns me because i will be giving birth this november to my first child. i will be 40 at the time of delivery. i won't go into all the details why we waited to have a family. one of which is because i wanted a wonderful man to spend my life with, so i got married a little later. we wanted to be financially secure so we waited a year or so to get our finances in order. then we really examined our lives to see if we really wanted a baby. this decision was not made overnight, and i don't believe that we are anywhere near the realm of being "irresponsible" and/or "selfish."

although not required at the hospital where we will give birth, i'm planning on rooming in with our little baby so that i can relieve a busy staff member from having to bring my baby to me. my husband will be with me so he, too, can learn infant care. although i've been a birth doula for 9 years, i know that there's something that i can learn from the postpartum nurses. my ears are going to be primed and ready to receive any information they can give me about my new baby.

i really hate to say this, but i'm concerned that the staff might be putting me in a category in which i don't belong. just because i wanted for the right person for marriage, and we waited until we have finances up to date and examined our readiness for a child, i hope that does not put me into a category which doesn't fit our situation, just because i'm 40 and having my first baby.

sorry, this is longer than what i meant it to be. please understand, i don't want to be stepping on anyone's toes here. i just want to say that there are so many valid reasons why people wait until later, and it doesn't make them any less of a mom just because she doesn't fit the normal age range of a primip.

AgentR · Apr 24, 2007

I find that AMA primp inductions usually don't work too well. Usually can't get them into active labor, despite a lot of cervadil/cytotec and pitocin.

A lot of time these moms also have a very hard time dealing with the uncertainties of labor and are a bit...high strung. :)

CRNI-ICU20 · Apr 24, 2007

This woman sounds like a spoiled rotten brat....because she has a mother who still speaks for her at age 50!! There isn't enough couch space in the therapy office for this woman, her mother, and her soon to be born child....ugh.

mammaoftwo · Apr 24, 2007

WOW... Do women really have FIRST babies when they are that OLD?????
I want to say that is just irresponsible and selfish. No wonder their attitudes seem to really suck.

I am 54 and have a 6yr old and an 8 yr old. I have had my children since they were 5 months old and 2 years old. I adopted them, I had to have a total hysterectomy when I was 30. I am now taking pre-reqs for nursing and have a 4.0 grade average. What is wrong with being an older mom????

So what if she wants to have a baby at her age? Maybe she was being a pain in the butt, I will agree with that. But I do not see how she is being selfish and irresponsible.

And I am a single mom!

mstigerlily · Apr 24, 2007

I've had patients of all ages and personalites but I see women like you've described quite often, we have patients like this every day on our floor. My hospital induces and c-sections every day for convenience and for social reasons. In fact, it's so uncommon to have a primip go into labor on her own and deliver and 40 wks, I can't remember the last time I had a patient who fit that description.

If you think you have a hard time dealing with this patient, visit the postpartum nurses that have cared for her 2-4 long days (or nights) in a row after the long labor or c-section she'll probably be getting!

Just got a G1P0 at 37wks, transfer from L&D. Advanced maternal age (she's pushing 50), but no other health or pregnancy issues. She was cervidil'ed yesterday, no progress (shocker at 37wks, huh?), so she's hanging out here for "therapeutic rest", re-evaluate tomorrow.
I knew she was gonna be fun the second she came here...complained that at 0100, the "best" we could get her to eat is turkey with lettuce and tomato on a roll, a banana, juice, milk, crackers and yogurt (I think that's pretty good, no?) requested a private room--sorry, no, we're almost full. Put her in a double room but no roomate right now, so she's by herself.
"This toilet bowl is filthy!"
"No, Ms. G, that's a chip in the plastic, but I'll wipe it down for you if you'd like" and so I wipe it down....
"It's still there! This is really disgusting! Maybe we can page a maid?? Or can't I just have another room. Can't you move someone from the private room into this one?"

I ask her if they taught her how to measure her urine. "No, I'm just going to leave it in the white thing [hat]. You measure it. That's what they did down there [L&D]"
I explained to her very nicely that they only have one patient at a time on L&D while I have 5 right now, and showed her how to do it. 10 min later she buzzed me to empty her hat.
:angryfire
Then her mother who was with her asks "So, sweety, tell the nurse when you want your cervidil so she can make sure you get it" I kinda interrupted and explained that there were limits (recent PO intake) and schedules, etc.
Mom chimes in "Well, she wants it at 6am. Don't you dear? Nurse, can you write that down-SIX AM"
Pt-"Yes, 6am. And please...be a good nurse and make sure the doctors are here at 6am, not 6:15 or 6:30...I want to get this over with. And I need sleep-don't wake me up until the doctor is here with the medicine in his hand."
Lady--if you think you're tired now, wait till you have a baby screaming every 2 hours and no permanent support (single mother by choice).
'Twill be a long night, it will.
Grrrr