OP babies=more pain?

[ChristyE]

Since I am not a nurse, I ask you to forgive my intrusion onto your board, but this is not something I feel like I can discuss with my OB or anyone. No one seems to understand.

A month ago, I gave birth to my fourth child. My last two babies have been born straight OP (the third baby with an epidural, the fourth with no medication).

Even though I did deliver my second child without medication, I can't seem to get over the memories of the pain I felt with these last two births.

In my third birth, I had an epidural and yet I still experienced excruciating pain in my bottom (no one knew baby was OP yet). I kept telling the nurse that I was hurting more than I ever did with my natural second birth, and all she did was keep treating me like I was weak of character, saying things like "an epidural doesn't always take away ALL the pain" and "an epidural doesn't help with the nerves in that area".

Once I was complete, the nurse had me push and then began to chide me for pushing ineffectively (even though I had pushed two babies out before with no problem!). After thirty minutes, she brought in another nurse and they started discussing the possibility of an OP presentation. Fortunately my OB came in at that time and said, "Leave her alone. An OP baby needs to come down on its own." Twenty minutes later, the baby did just that and was quickly born. When the baby emerged straight OP, everyone in the room went, "Ah ha! No wonder you were hurting so badly!" I felt like hitting all of them.

With this last birth, the baby was born 45 minutes from the time I arrived at the hospital, leaving no time for an epidural. The nurses laughed at me among themselves when I refused IV drugs (I just don't like feeling dopey.). During one contraction, my husband couldn't hold my hand because he was phoning his parents and I reached for the nurse for support. She wouldn't hold my hand--she recoiled as if I had leprosy--and only allowed me hold on to her jacket. I was hurting desperately, and they again made me feel like I just wasn't handling it well.

When my daughter was then born (to everyone's surprise) straight OP, everyone got that same look on their face, almost like, "Oh. I guess she really was hurting."

During both of these labors, I felt like I kept good control of myself physically and emotionally. In other words, it was clear that I was hurting, but I didn't climb the walls and I wasn't what I consider whiny or "difficult".

I suppose my questions are:

1) Are OP babies especially painful?

2) Why didn't the nurses support me? Why did they make me feel like I was making a big deal out of nothing?

Thanks so much for your help. Maybe I just needed to vent about this. I know that childbirth is supposed to be painful. I wasn't looking for some "romantic" childbirth experience--just some compassion and help through the pain.

I don't know why I can't seem to get over this.

Sincerely,

Christy

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

But some docs really DO know their stuff, and the doc mentioned really contributed to a safe and easier birth. That doesn't mean that the nurses didn't know their stuff- they got a tip from a fellow professional and used it.

Complimenting one profession does not mean that I was demeaning another.

I think it's a dead issue now anyway. No more posts about it from me.

[sbic56, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by canoehead

But some docs really DO know their stuff, and the doc mentioned really contributed to a safe and easier birth. That doesn't mean that the nurses didn't know their stuff- they got a tip from a fellow professional and used it.

Complimenting one profession does not mean that I was demeaning another.

I think it's a dead issue now anyway. No more posts about it from me.

No more posts necessary. You said it all, canoehead, and said it best. I see the docs as part of the team; together with them, we hopefully give mom the best birth experience possible.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Why on Earth does this have to be a doctor- versus- nurse thing? I see nurses who are brilliantly-gifted in difficult situations and resolving them. I see others with fewer personal resources to draw on who are not so great in this department. It JUST COULD BE this nurse caring for the OP was in the latter group. SHAME. But it's out there. They need our help and education, and if they don't belong, then maybe there is another place better-suited. We all know labor/delivery nursing is not for everyone. Further...

We all have learning to do......the curve is steep for some of us (myself included here). I learned a HELL of a lot from DOCTORS---- who where I work, rarely "undermine" what we "oh -so- brilliant- superior" nurses do.....they have given me many tips and tricks to improve my techniques and practice. So have midwives. And LORD bless the nurses who have been patient and taken time to teach me, too.

But the MOST I HAVE EVER LEARNED was from PATIENTS AND FAMILIES THEMSELVES...they are our greatest teachers--- IF WE LISTEN and don't get all territorial and defensive about it (you KNOW nurses who do this!)---- I ask them what would work....what they need from me. And I do my best to comply. THIS is where I learned the FINEST arts of labor support ...the subtlest things I can do that enhance or detract from their joy/happiness....I do learn from THEM, just LISTENING and WATCHING.

Can we remember: We are a team, the patients, nurses, support people and doctors. Let's don't undermine anyone here.......let's just strive to learn from each other.

And the original poster of this thread, THANK YOU for sharing with us your intimate thoughts and feelings here. I always take these comments as reminders of just how IMPORTANT our influence is on the success and joy of the birth experience. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME WHAT I DO IS SO IMPORTANT AND INFLUENTIAL----that the words I say, the actions I do, DO make an impression and difference. SOMETIMES I forget HOW much they do. I thank you for this!:kiss

[SmilingBluEyes]

and OBNURSESHELLY, in the most respectful way, I invite you to review TOS...you violated them.....take such comments to PM please. THank you canoehead, for not sinking to the insult level. I appreciate it myself. This was meant to be a helping thread, NOT A DEBATE!

[PegRNBSN]

That was a beautiful post. We need to help, teach and encourage each other. I have seen nurses excludeing doctors from information so they could handle the labor the way they wanted to with some disasterous results. We need to recognize all of our strengths and areas of expertise and create a team caring for the mom and her family. Adversarial relationships help no one and can hurt everyone involved.

[purplemania, BSN, RN]

Besides the emotional side of your experience you cite that the pain memory is lingering. Your symptoms sound like post-traumatic stress. I had similar complaints when my son was born (30 years ago!!) and had nightmares, etc. for a year or two afterwards. A nurse cued me into PTS symptoms being like what I experienced. I researched that and got professional help, which really DID help. You are not crazy and you did not expect too much and your pain was real. I hope you feel better soon.