The most ridiculous birth plans you've had the pleasure of reading - page 4

I don't know when I became so jaded- I had a birth plan with my son...every single thing went the opposite of what we had wanted (induction, ITN with subsequent pukefest and finally stat section for non reassuring heart rate and... Read More

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    Far to often the patients have NEVER discussed their birth plan wishes with their provider. When they get to the hospital their plan entails things that our hospital does not even offer- water birth, walking around (we dont have cordless monitors), birth balls. I ask- have you talked about this with your OB? ...NO, never. Their OB could have easily told them that our hospital isn't the place where their wildest birth dreams would come true. Maybe a birth center or home birth or another hospital would better suit them- since most of them had perfectly normal, wonderful, healthy pregnancies.
    Technicolourhobo likes this.

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  2. 1
    Quote from allene24
    our hospital does not even offer- water birth, walking around (we dont have cordless monitors), birth balls
    I'm a student and taking OB next semester, so I only have personal experience to go on here. Your hospital really doesn't allow a laboring mother to walk around or to use a birthing ball?!? I understand that there may be exceptions, but to not allow it at all? Is this normal for other hospitals? I spend almost my whole labor (and a good portion if my pregnancy, I even took it to work with me) the first time around (second was breech) on my birthing ball and highly recommend them! I was also a high risk pregnancy with a perinatologist.... Just curious!
    sharpeimom likes this.
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    dariah...are you really serious that you would force Vit K and eye gtts on a patient with explicit parental denial? Have to borrow one of my mom's sayings "you try that, you gone to be pullin back a nub", refering to what would be left of your hand/arm.!
    toucheturtle and sharpeimom like this.
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    I wouldn't be forcing it, but New York State law would. If a parent vehemently denies, the protocol is to call child services. :-/ We have to give it within an hour of birth, so I can delay it, but I can't skip it.
    Technicolourhobo likes this.
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    Quote from dariah
    I wouldn't be forcing it, but New York State law would. If a parent vehemently denies, the protocol is to call child services. :-/ We have to give it within an hour of birth, so I can delay it, but I can't skip it.
    Are you serious? That's awful!! I've rarely had parents decline newborn meds but if they do they have to sign an AMA waiver after talking to the doctor caring for the baby. There's certainly no CPS involvement. What a waste of resources!
    HisKids37 likes this.
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    Yep, totally serious.

    "....both these interventions are required in New York State by both the sanitary code and the hospital code (Sections 12.2 and 405.21(e)(4)(v)(b), 10 NYCRR). Neither regulation exempts infants whose parents object to the practice. Since these treatments are mandated by state regulation, informed consent is unnecessary, and hospitals and individual providers cannot be sued for administering them. Conversely, a provider’s failure to administer these treatments could result in a citation. A parent’s refusal of these treatments can be reported to Child Protective Services"

    My only real problem with birth plans is that many things just aren't feasible at my hospital.

    Back on topic....
    ...the other day I saw a line in a birth plan that stated "I would like to be reminded to remove my clothing before delivery." *head scratch*
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    Laparoscopic C-Section! Best one so far! buahahahahaha!!!!
  8. 2
    Quote from adoRNo2015
    Laparoscopic C-Section! Best one so far! buahahahahaha!!!!
    Yikes. I think that's called a D&E.
    aspiringnurse1122 and sharpeimom like this.
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    D&E is a dilation and extraction when a spontaneous abortion doesn't allow for all the product to be expelled from the body. I'm sure whoever came up with a laparoscopic c-section was tripping on something.
    sharpeimom likes this.
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    Quote from adoRNo2015
    D&E is a dilation and extraction when a spontaneous abortion doesn't allow for all the product to be expelled from the body. I'm sure whoever came up with a laparoscopic c-section was tripping on something.
    Yes, I know what a D&E is. I was making an off-color joke.


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