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No. 10
from amber1142
Old Jun 10, 2005, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by newgrad2005
It's not like women don't expect a strange man to see their cootchies at some point during a pregnancy.

Hee, hee. But honestly, I don't expect strange men to see my cootchie during pregnancy!!! I will either have a woman OB or midwife. Just my preference.

Actually, me too.
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No. 11
from imenid37
Old Jun 10, 2005, 08:25 AM

Why don't you PM Dayray? He's an awsome guy who works in L/D who posts here. I know a male L/D nurse. He's a very nice guy. Pt's love him. Good luck. I think there is a place for men to work in OB.
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No. 12
Old Jun 10, 2005, 09:57 AM
Updated Jun 10, 2005 at 09:59 AM by SmilingBluEyes

Originally Posted by booluvstrains
One more thing nurses, I've yet to hear from a current, working, male LD nurse! (I know, saying male LD nurse everytime is a drag and reinforces steriotypes etc., but how else can I ask the question?) Hope some male LD (there I go again) nurse will reply!
T.
where are Dayray and Mark when you need them?

I say go for it (and I am just a female, but want to weigh in).

I have worked with several and was cared for by one who was the best. If this is what you really want, don't let any naysaying stop you.

I know a bit of what I am talking about. Back in the 80s when I joined the military at 18, and wound up in a nearly all-male shop, I got some looks, some sexual innuendo ballyed around me, some whispered, mumbling comments about being "gay" etc. (all of such harassment was strictly against AF policies, but that did not stop them). I let it all roll off my back, kept my nose to the grindstone, worked hard and got my promotions. Eventually, things worked out and I was treated VERY well by most of my male coworkers. They even used to throw me birthday parties in the engine docks.........it was a time I remember with happiness and nostalgia.

Listen---- You know what works for you and you know your character. Let the others find out by demonstrating the best you have to offer and the naysayers be damned. Good luck.
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No. 13
Old Jun 10, 2005, 10:30 AM

I, too deliberately chose female OB docs when I had my kids. But, with my last one, a male resident delivered my daughter. It wasn't weird at all, he was great. I probably wouldn't have minded having a male nurse. That being said, I totally agree about being completely uncomfortable with a male postpartum nurse. I probably would have refused...making me feel guilty and uncomfortable. I think many women expect female nurses to take care of them during this time, and might feel put "on the spot." I know I can refuse, but does the general public know they have that choice?
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No. 14
from SierraN
Old Jun 11, 2005, 11:21 AM

The thing I don't understand is that most of the doctors are male and noone seems to mind them and believe me, they do a lot more invasive stuff in that area then we do! But if it's a nurse, there's a problem. It's annoying as heck to me. We are just trying to do our jobs!!! That being said... It totally depends on where you work. I know here in the South, it wouldn't fly. I don't know if it would be worth the daily explainations..it would get old after a while.
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No. 15
from RNKitty
Old Jun 11, 2005, 11:39 AM

I have known two male L&D nurses at two different facilities. They were both AWESOME nurses, clinically and caringly. The women had no problem with them as nurses because the men went in the room with a professional attitude and did a lot of education and explaining about what was going on and why the interventions needed to be done.

However, and I realize this is illegal, I have known nurse managers who won't hire men for the positions because "it would make the patients uncomfortable". Some have even stated as much to the applicants, which could be contested in court as discrimination.

Good luck to you! Taking some continuing education in high risk L&D, Fetal Monitoring, and Comfort during Labor classes would look great on a resume and show your interest in the profession to a nurse manager.
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No. 16
from rpbear
Old Jun 11, 2005, 05:44 PM

I work with 2 mare l&d nurses, both are awesome! One is a young guy who started as a OR tech on L&D I think he has been there about 8 years or so, the other is 50 something man with a full beard, he started L&D 20 something years ago because of a challenge from another male nurse. The older guy works triage and rarely has a woman refuse his treatment, most actually think he is a doctor. He is quite popular with out pt's because of his great personality, everyone remembers him!

I say if you want to do L&D go for it! It is no different than a woman woking with prosate pt's or urology. I have no problem having a man take care of me in all aspects of my healthcare, if you are a great nurse then you are a great nurse no matter what your gender!

Good Luck!
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No. 17
from JaneyW
Old Jun 11, 2005, 06:12 PM

I intentionally chose a male OB doc. My SIL had had a female who just wasn't very sympathetic to her. I am a major baby and I wanted someone who would pat me on the back with a there, there. Mine did that and I loved him--all three times! I wouldn't have minded a male nurse. I ended up with a student male PP nurse with my first. He was awful and it was a truly bad experience. Maybe that's why I am an L&D/PP nurse now?? I don't think it was his maleness so much as his clulessness combined with my own at that time.
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No. 18
from judy ann
Old Jun 11, 2005, 08:47 PM

I have been in the L&D business for a LONG time. I have worked with and had on my staff a number of "male L&D nurses" First of all, they were all very well qualified, and very much liked by both families and staff. In order for these guys to be successful, they have to really be good, caring and understanding.
When I think of the best nurses I have known, two come to mind. The first guy I had on my staff (I was HN) was sort of a Casper Milquetoast--he was straight but just really not a HE man type. The night shift were very upset when I told them that the new nurse had several years of OB experience, and comes with excellent recommendation. Oh yes, he is a guy! They grudgingly gave him a chance, and found that, not only was he a great addition to our staff, but he knew how to do "stuff" and acted like a brother and came over and unstopped the john, fixed the broken lamp, etc.
The second fella got started in the Air Force in OB. He was really excellent, and made the shift go by so smoothly. His only short-coming was that he was a knock out! Some of the daddies were leary of him, till he gave some care, and then it was fine. He even had moms return for the next child and ask for him. It was an honor to work with both of these guys.

So far as using gender as a deciding factor in picking a doctor. We have all know male docs that were stupid pond scum. I personally have known female OBs that made those guys look good. I choose my physician by ability, professionalism, and how I personally am treated. Gender has a place only if two people are about equal, and you can't make a decision.
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No. 19
from Dayray
Old Jun 13, 2005, 04:11 AM

Hey booluvstrains,

I read your post a few days ago but decided to wait to respond. I've been a "Male L&D Nurse" for going on 3 years I did 1 year post partum before that.

I love my job and that is the reason I have been successful. The first and most valuable thing I'll tell you is that in order to be a good nurse and to maintain your sanity as a male L&D nurse, you have to absolutely love it. I say that because it is hard.

I assume that you must really want to do this because I know how hard it is to come out and say that you want to work L&D as a male nurse. Even though some people will cheer you on some look at you like you have 2 heads and some come right out and tell you off.

First off lets talk about patients. When I first walk in a room many patients don't bat an eye. Some get a surprised and pensive look on their face. You will learn to read their reactions very quickly. Allot of patients don't realize that male L&D nurses are odd so they accept me easily others are hesitant but once they meet me and see that I am kind and capable they are fine. I've had patients tell me that at first they didn’t like the idea of having a male L&D nurse but that after a few minutes they forgot about that and were glad to have me.

I do agree with the poster that said, male L&D nurses need to be really good, caring and understanding. It truthfully shouldn’t matter weather a nurse is male or female but our culture categorizes many of the roles nurses fill as female. Because of this I try to make sure that my patients get the best care. I know that my gender can make people uncomfortable so I go out of my way to make them comfortable. I guess I think that they deserve a little extra because of the initial discomfort my gender might cause.

Most patients will warm up to me very quickly and I get ton's of cards and thank yous. Nurses on the day shift tease me and say they hate to take my patient’s because my patients love me so much. Nurses on my own shift give me the needy patients because I have a knack for making people comfortable. So patient can defiantly accept men’s as L&D nurses.

Very few patients refuse me as their nurse. When they do it is very uncomfortable for me as well as them. I'm not sure I can give good advice on how to deal with this. My way has changed so many times. First I'll say that patients (of course) have the right to refuse anything or anyone regardless of the reasons they have for doing so.

That being said it's not a nice feeling to have someone judge you based on your gender. I used to pretend that it didn’t bother me but the truth is that it does. Thank god it happens rarely because every time it happens, it makes me question weather I should be working L&D.

If you are kind, caring and competent your patient’s will love you. The real challenge for me has been reconciling in my own mind the contrast between the way society says men should act with the way I act.

As a male L&D nurse you will always be different. I get along very well with my coworkers. We are a close group and love working with each other but I am different.

When I get together with other guys I can’t talk about work because they would never understand. I have also noticed that my perception of women has changed so much that I can’t sympathize with other guys when they talk about their wives. I absolutely cannot tolerate jokes about either gender they may seem harmless but they damage peoples perception too much.

Everyone (no matter how forward thinking they are) will at least wonder if you are gay. This to me is funny because I don’t really care. Still sometimes it’s kind of strange when I think about how many people see me that way.

I’m not gay but I think I understand what they must go threw. Being a male L&D nurse is to many people just as counter culture as being gay. You have to be really strong to handle the negative view people may have of you.

I have encountered many nurses that strongly opposed my being an L&D nurse. The only thing that kept me at it was the patient’s. I know I have said it allot already but I truly love caring for my patients. At the beginning of my career I was put threw the ringer by other nurses. The thing that kept me going was that patients would tell me how much I helped them and how much they appreciated it.

For me the decision to go into L&D was a hard one I am still very glad that I made it. Patients are amazing I get so much out of caring for them I would never trade it.

If you have any questions or would just like to talk PM me or just post here. either way I'm happy to talk about this subject and hope that it helps.
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