I feel weird

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

history: my son was delivered in at my home on October 16, 1999 with a lay midwife. I set my sites on becoming a midwife right then and there, my son was bf, not vaxxed, no vit-k, not circumcised, and raised vegetarian. I did not tear.

I started nursing school when Hunter was a year old with the hopes that " well it's hard to get into lay midwifery and build clientelle. maybe I should try L/D and get paid well as a nurse and build experience............... then get out of nursing, build clientelle, and become a lay midwife.

When I did my clinicals in L/D, i cried everyday. Epidurals, catheters,fetal monitors, etc...... This is NOT how I envision birth. It made me sad. ( birth is a natural part of a womans life)

I started nursing school to BE A MIDWIFE!!!!!! now as a new grad i have decided to work in the ED and part time in a psych unit. because working L/D would be awful to me. ( i.e nobody checked my lochia, nobody palpated my fundus)

nursing school has definitely changed me, yet, i've studied all the L/D stuff, and if i ever have another child, I will have the baby at home. I am just mad/frusterated at myself that I thought that nursing would make me a good lay midwife.......and it really won't.

Bottom line, i went to nursing school to learn about birth/intrapartum etc. and the conventional aspect of it really does not appeal to me.

Here I go, as a new grad starting in the ED, when all I really wanna do is be a homebirthing midwife................

I feel weird and frustrated at this point. Yes, i will have a good job that I can support my son and I on. Yes I have a degree, but NO, i want to be a homebirthing midwife. yet nursing school failed me regarding labor and delivery. They taught breast is best woo hoo, but think that vegan moms need more nutrition.

I'm lost. I'm starting a job as an ER nurse, but I really wanna assist moms to deliver in their own homes.

any help, advice encouraging words would be a plus. i still have that "dream" of assisting moms at home, but i really honestly don't know if it will happen..........

just wanted to say that as the mama of 3, 2 born at home and the 1st in hospital w/ a cnmw....i understand. It seems we have similar philosphies on birth and parenting, ie: vacs, vit-k, BF etc. i have a friend who had her daughter at home a few months ago. she's an l&d nurse and she cites the same issues as you. at the same time she can help the mom understand that she does have choices and she can advocate for them in a hospital setting. ps: whenever a woman comes in with a birth plan that says no meds, jacuzzi for pain, walking, no continuous monitoring etc. the other nurses gratefully hand them to her.....k

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

What works for you doesn't necessarily work for everyone else. That understanding comes the longer you are a nurse. A midwife once told me that pushing her opinion on someone made her as bad as a prejudiced person doing the same, but that she hadn't realized that until some time under her belt. Some people want all the bells and whistles. Some people need them. Some people don't want all that. Some people are thankful for it. It is not up to you as the midwife or layperson to withold or push things at people. It IS your job or role to support the patients in what works for them...When you figure that out from your heart and with appropriate clinical practice under YOUR belt, you will have a well achieved, well paved road to midwifery....Good luck...

Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

Many larger hospitals do use midwives...I had one when I delivered...I also have my regular OB, but I was ready to go before she could get there and a wonderful midwife helped me along.

Get experience under your belt and then go for it! I have personally seen some home deliveries gone bad, and it isn't pretty, that is for sure, but one of the girls I work with helped deliver her grandchildren at home. Each to their own! :)

So, being at home in my bed, all I'd be thinking about was the mess. In MY bed. Blood, amniotic fluid, urine, BM, etc. It would be a distraction to me. :D

steph:)

THis freaks me out as well! when i watch "a baby story" on TLC (or used to anyway) I always wonder who is going to clean and disinfect and It would stress me out knowing i was creating a huge mess. I liked being at the hosptial where the mess "magically disappeared". :rotfl:

I work in the special care nursery and I don't think that a home birth is a great idea. Like most, I think at any point a woman with no risk factors can give birth to a baby in secondary apnea. :uhoh21: Meaning something more than stimulation needs to be done in order to get it breathing. So....since there are people wanting home births why not give them the complete package....a midwife to take care of the mother, her labor, her delivery...give her all the things she requests to be done and have team member number 2 be an actual pediatric provider....for the baby. The baby seems to be forgotten here. What is best for the baby as well as the mother? I don't believe for one second that a nonmedical person knows exactly the risks involved for the baby. I have been with families where they would be standing over the warmer of a 1 minute old baby smiling and asking why can't mom hold the baby????? While I am bagging the baby with the bag mask.....they have no idea that without resuscitation this baby would be dead. This proves to me that they are very uninformed about the transitioning a baby goes through when the cord is cut. I have read many birth plans written by moms and truthfully I am wondering where they came up with "the plan". Does someone provide them with scientific evidence to support what they want and don't want???? I am aware of the erythromycin eye drops being delayed so mom and baby can look at each other but I am still having trouble finding out why a mom wouldn't want vitamin K given to her baby. What is the reason they don't want it given?:uhoh21: If there was help for the baby as well as the mother I would feel much better about a home birth but still not an advocate for it. Too many complications unforseen can happen to both.

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