Can you believe this? 13yo and mom both pregnant - page 3

Had a patient come in last night who was contracting and is 13 yrs old and her mom is pregnant too! :uhoh21:... Read More

  1. by   seanymph
    My original labor pt. (13 yr old) came back last night and delivered. Mom is 27yrs old and delivering in next couple of months and grandma is 42yrs. Pt. last night ended up seizuring and had to be put on Mag. Sulfate. and given 10mg Valium. Long night.
  2. by   Dayray
    Quote from mother/babyRN
    DayRay, if I get a pt whose parent , spouse or significant other "won't" let a patient have pain med, I simply remind them that it is up to the patient, and try to ask her what she wants when they are out of the room, and then tell her to make me the bad person and let her know I will do what she wants me to do....Especially since she is an emancipated minor....Parents no longer in charge...
    Sadly in my state 3 years ago they changed the law and minors are no longer imancipated when they get pregnant. We must have parental consent =(

    They also have to inform parents about any famly planing counciling and of prenatal care/ abortions.

    Very sad =(
  3. by   Dayray
    Quote from mother/babyRN
    Kids are EQUALLY culpable...They make the choice to have sex......Sorry, parents are NOT to blame...Parents and kids together should be involved in the info but ultimately, it is the kid who makes the choice...And I can say that as a single mom in the past......
    I'll agree to disagree on this issue.

    It's a philosophical question I know, as kids do have free will and can make decisions on their own.

    I however have a really hard time holding children responsible for such big mistakes. If you consider that "we are who we are " because of the sum of our experiences then parents carry a heavy burden as they are responsible for those experiences until the child is 18. Now when a child reaches adulthood and if they received the proper love and instruction and assuming their are no biological problems preventing it then they can be held accountable for their actions but I don't believe that children have the maturity to be held responsible for what they do. Things like teen pregnancy or juvenile delinquency are a sign of emotional disturbance that has it's roots in home life.

    Now of course you could get really philosophical and say that the parents are the way they are because of the way the were raised but of course you would have to stop somewhere and lay responsibility. I chose to lay that responsibility on the parents as they are the only ones who have the power to shape their children's perceptions and hopefully prepare them to be responsible happy, emotionally whole adults.

    I take full responsibility for my children as I see them acting out only what I have taught or shown them both good and bad. Sure they all have their own personalities and they all express them selves as individuals but they still have learned right and wrong, from me and my wife. When they do wrong I discipline them to teach them right from wrong and not to punish them as they are not responsible for what they have done, I am. Someday they will be grown up and they will have to be responsible. I only hope that by then they have learned enough to make good decisions. Until then I have to take the rap for it.

    Like I said I'll agree to disagree, I don't mind discussing this subject (in fact I like it) but I ask you please to see it as only that and not a personal attack as I don't fault you for thinking differently from me.
  4. by   skislalom
    not justifying anything here, but remember that the grandparents-to-be usually have a few months to adjust to the fact that thier barely teen is making them a grandparent, the shock, disappointment and a myriad of other emotions are usually dealt with by then and the fact that they are able to enjoy the arrival despite how it all came to be-doesn't mean they approve of the situation as a whole. I can't even begin to fathom becoming a great-grandma in my FORTIES!! sheesh that is just wrong...LOL

    I have 3 daughters (and a son) and it scares the bejeeeezus out of me that they are approaching the teen years. My mom and I grew up together really and I vowed to wait until I was 25 to have a child...I was 26 when I had my first and there was nuthin but joy about her arrival.

    just my .02

    ~T
  5. by   donmomofnine
    Quote from stevielynn
    On the flip side . . . . I have a friend who was married at 20 and got preggers a couple of years later. At the same time her mom, who thought she was going through menopause found out she was preggers too. They both had boys who attended the same schools and graduated together. One was the uncle and one was the nephew.

    That is alot better take and the mom and daughter being pregnant at the same time story. :chuckle

    steph
    My daughter and I were pregnant at the same time. She was twenty and very excited about starting a family, and I had planned my last pregnancy! My daughter and granddaughter are both the same age. How many grandmothers can say that they nursed their grandchild? It was the only way my daughter could leave the baby those first few months and spend time alone with her husband!
  6. by   jwk
    Quote from mother/babyRN
    Kids are EQUALLY culpable...They make the choice to have sex......Sorry, parents are NOT to blame...Parents and kids together should be involved in the info but ultimately, it is the kid who makes the choice...And I can say that as a single mom in the past......
    I have personally done anesthesia for a C/S for a 12 year old who became pregnant at 11. During my OB rotation, we had a 10 year old deliver.

    Kids this age are by and large NOT culpable, and their pregnancies are often the result of abuse and incest. It is rare for these pregnancies to be caused by a couple of 12 year olds having sex, although I'm sure that has happened. It almost always involves an older teen or man. That's why there are laws for statutory rape. Girls under a certain age (defined by law) are deemed incapable of giving consent, regardless of any claim that the act was consensual.
  7. by   rn4booboo
    Who is the daddy? Were they perhaps the same- lots of times on a 13 yo there may be foulplay.
    Just a thought.....
  8. by   mother/babyRN
    Well, of COURSE anyone should assume in that scenario would NOT be culpable just as a rape victim would not BUT in many cases they are, whether YOU agree or not...( and thankfully, usually, those ages you mentioned are not the norm...) But, you have a good point...
  9. by   bigfishsmallpond
    A little off the subject, but i had a 15 year old pt who delivered, and I noticed she had a big splay of roses with a card that said"Love, daddy". Naively, I said,
    "Is this from your daddy, or your baby's daddy?" She replied "Both!" Talk about feeling your stomach come up to your mouth...it was her step-father, but STILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. by   Katnip
    Off topic a bit I guess. I read an article in the paper a couple of years ago about a 26-year-old grandmother. She had been 13 when she gave birth to her daughter and the daughter had just given birth to another girl at age 13. They were quite proud of this. I guess they are aiming for granny to become a great-grandmother at age 38?
  11. by   LNDNurse
    I had a patient the other day who was 16 having her second child. Her mother had adopted the first child and was raising it as her own. This 16 y.o. came in at 33 weeks contracting up a storm so we wanted to admit her on Magnesium. She wanted to leave AMA. The midwife and I were trying to explain to her the consequences to her unborn child but she was hearing nothing of it. We thought we would appeal to her mother to see if she could convince the girl to stay. Her only response: "It is her decision, if she wants to leave she can" I think it was that attitude towards her daughter's actions for the last 16 years that landed this young girl in the situation that she was in.
  12. by   Rhoresmith
    I am a young Grandmother I will be 44 this Saturday and my grandson Nathan will be 3 in October, My daugter graduated in May and had him in October. I was not real happy but we love our Nathan so much. My daughter is a wonderful mother and Nathan is her life but every now and then I think she misses some of the freedom that she could have being 21 (going out etc) and does not get to have. I am proud of her with so many young single mothers that dump there kid on anyone who will take them and go out she hardly ever leaves him to go anywhere but work. She tried to go to my sisters for a weekend and after one night away from him came home missed him to much. We can not control all aspects of our childrens lives, my husband and I are very good parents always very involved in what they do/did, sent them to private Lutheran school and this still happened. She said she will never say she made a mistake because Nathan could never be a mistake because he is so wonderful. SO NEVER THINK IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO YOU BECAUSE IT HAPPENS IN ALL TYPES OF HOUSEHOLDS SO BEFORE YOU JUDGE STOP AND TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU
  13. by   ayndim
    Quote from Rhoresmith
    I am a young Grandmother I will be 44 this Saturday and my grandson Nathan will be 3 in October, My daugter graduated in May and had him in October. I was not real happy but we love our Nathan so much. My daughter is a wonderful mother and Nathan is her life but every now and then I think she misses some of the freedom that she could have being 21 (going out etc) and does not get to have. I am proud of her with so many young single mothers that dump there kid on anyone who will take them and go out she hardly ever leaves him to go anywhere but work. She tried to go to my sisters for a weekend and after one night away from him came home missed him to much. We can not control all aspects of our childrens lives, my husband and I are very good parents always very involved in what they do/did, sent them to private Lutheran school and this still happened. She said she will never say she made a mistake because Nathan could never be a mistake because he is so wonderful. SO NEVER THINK IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO YOU BECAUSE IT HAPPENS IN ALL TYPES OF HOUSEHOLDS SO BEFORE YOU JUDGE STOP AND TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU
    It's not about what got you there that reflects your upbringing the most, it is what you do after. I pray that my dd never ends up pg and unmarried at a young age. We all do but no matter what we want our teenagers to think, sex is great. But if she does I hope I have raised her to take responsibility for her actions. My cousin had a baby at 15 and she is a great mom (he is 8 or 9 now). She graduated high school and probably would have went on to college except she likes being a SAHM and had a bf (not the "father) who was able to let it happen. She started dating again when the he was about 6 months old (not sure if my dd would ever be dating again). She married him (the "father" was a drug addict and a loser) and he has raised him as his own. They now have a 4 year old girl too. Never did she try to pawn her baby off. She is a great mom and wife. And you would never know his dad is not his biolgical "father".

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