babies having babies

TexOkie · Dec 18, 2003

Back to babies having babies, the youngest I think I have seen in the 2+ yrs I have been in L&D had just turned 14 and fob was just 13. FOB was really doing great with caring for the infant and mom started out very well but by discharge she had this totally "lost" look on her face. I witnessed her reaction when reality hit her and she realized that this was a real live baby and totally dependent on her for its care, mom was scared to death. We see many 15-16 yo multips and some of them are wonderful mothers and others we know grandmother will be raising the child. Had a 15 yo this past summer who went into PTL and delivered twins at about 28-29 wks....as far as we know the babies survived but spent a long time in nicu. When we saw the mother after the birth of the babies and ask her about her babies she told us" oh they are doing ok I guess"...she was back to being the young 15 yo who had not been thrust into full time parenthood due to the infants extended stay in the hospital. I often wonder how she is dealing with parenthood now that the babies are home.

I have 3 boys ranging from 11-26 and I have talked very bluntly with them about responsibility if/when they become sexually active....it embarrasses my 11 yr old and when I see the number of

Whew...sorry for going on so long.....: :rolleyes:

allnurses Guide · Dec 18, 2003

Deb . . I'm with you. I've been haunted by that story all day. I was shopping earlier at Safeway and my 2 year old had fallen asleep in the car so I laid him over my shoulder and did my shopping with him asleep. I kept kissing his warm neck and smelling his baby scent and trying to image beating a 2 year old or laying a 2 year old in a tub of water and leaving her for 10 minutes. What absolute terror she must have felt and not understanding why. People kept commenting on how cute he looked asleep on my shoulder and I wanted to tell them the story about the two year old girl whose life was cut short by idiots.

The mom was 19, so she could have been 16 or 17 when she got preggers so she fits into this story well.

No man is worth putting my kids at risk. I'd rather live alone than with a monster. I don't get it, I really don't.

steph:o

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 18, 2003

WE did not stray off topic really, Steph you are right! Often these women who let into their homes these monsters WERE babies having babies...at one point. Very few of these moms are with the fathers of their babies until they are raised, yet are lonely for companionship. It really is tough out there.

nekhismom · Dec 18, 2003

Not to start an adoption flaming again, but I just wanted to add that often times in VA, TN, NC area I hear many teens say if they ever got pregnant they would NEVER give the baby up for adoption. Their reason? People would look down on them, it's just not right to give up your baby, and my personal favorite, if you open your legs to make the baby, then you can open your legs to have and keep the baby. I see most of these teens not thinking of the baby's future or upbringing, just how they would be looked upon if they were to give the baby up for adoption or to have an abortion. THis is very sad to me. And it seems to me that if they are so concerned about what people will think, they should be concerned about even getting pregnant in the first place. My high school in VA also had a child day care, and a bus that picked up parents and babies each day. MANY people needed this day care, let me tell you. It seemed like teenage pregnancy was the POPULAR thing, for some reason. Sad, but true. I'm not saying all teens that get pregnant say these things or feel this way, or that all teen pregnancies are bad. This is just what I have observed in my area.

Sari_noel · Dec 18, 2003

My current (not to be sometime in the near future) sister in law had her first child at 15, and got kicked out of her mothers house, she lived all over for the two or three years before she and my brother got together. Since then they have had to beautiful children 2.5 and 1 year old (the oldest child is 8 now). Not that I don't love her, but she is a very selfish person. That is the reason they are getting divorced. I think she is trying to regain the freedom she lost by having a child so young, it just scares me what might happen to these three wonderful children because she won't take full responsibility for them and their needs. I hear stories of teens having babies and I get worried and a little sad. I have a few friends who had babies young (about 17) one is doing great just got done with college, the other never really did much. I could not imagine having a child so young.

anonnotnurse · Dec 30, 2003

I dated at 13 and I'm still a virgin. I think the real issue here is WHY are these young girls getting preganant and is there anything nurses can do about it? Education?