"Babywise!" Help! Friend swears by it.

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

One of my friends just gave birth to her first son. She is a staunch believer in the 'Babywise' method and has all of the books. She said when she was in the hospital and the nurses saw she was reading this book (On Becoming Babywise), they told her they didn't agree with the premise and teachings of the book. She was sort of offended since she said she didn't ask for their opinion, but it hasn't swayed her from implementing the 'Babywise' teachings.

If any of you nurses out there have experience with the teachings of this book, please share your wisdom as to why this is a horrible book. I have done a Google search on this and just about every single website devoted to the 'Babywise' method (Christian and secular) has been negative, even though my friend has said she has been successful at getting her son to 'sleep through the night.' Help!

Thanks.

QUOTE]Originally posted by Figaro's Mom

Thank you Shay....thank you, thank you, thank you. I will try to be diplomatic about it since she's such a good friend and all....

I fear she won't really listen to me since I don't have kids. :o ("What do YOU know, you don't have kids!" Which is of course why I'm here asking y'all's advice!) Wish I could get the book away from her, she's a state away. *sigh* If anyone can recommend any alternative books for her, I'd appreciate it.

My all time favorite baby book is Dr Sears "The baby book"

http://www.askdrsears.com/drsearsbooks.asp

I couldn't agree more with everybody here, there is no possible way to spoil a baby, pick her up, love her, give her what she needs. This is so basic to raising happy and healthy kids. Good luck trying to talk to you good friend. Hopefully she will hear her baby crying for her and go with her gut and not with this bad advice.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I personally don't believe in following any "guru's" on any subject. I read MANY MANY books, watch many educational shows and incorporate what works for my kids and us. Because each is an individual and what works for one child very well may NOT for the next. I try to let my kids, instincts and common sense guide me. Do I make mistakes? yep! Do I learn? All the time! but hey, it's a lifelong process and no one is perfect, and I tell my KIDS this all the time! You got to do what works for your kids and you!

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I've never posted here before--but I have experience with Babywise---with 2 of my kids. It was a lifesaver for us. Even the NP that I worked with loved it for her kids. I put my babies on a schedule--or "routine". Eat, play, sleep. That's the order. Fed every 3 or so hours. Sometimes 2.5--sometimes 3.5. Not strict. You adjust for growing spurts. Those two babies both slept thru the night by 9 weeks. (10-12 hours). They didn't have FTT, they were in the 75-90% in weight/height. VERY happy babies. Secure.

My reasons for trying Babywise in the first place was not to get my baby to sleep at night, but to get my baby to stop eating every 1-1.5 hours, puking after feedings, and then screaming until the next feeding again. I demand fed her. Within 1 day of this "schedule"(waiting 3 hours to feed her, play, sleep)--she stopped puking and became a very happy baby. Within a couple of days--this schedule was HER schedule and was not forced. Worked so well with her--I used it again with my son.

I have choose not to do it again with my last daughter.

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Hi Holly! Welcome to allnurses.com. (Sounds weird coming from someone who isn't a nurse!)

You sound like you were flexible enough and level-headed enough to modify the Babywise technique somewhat. My fear is with people who cannot be flexible....:stone You know the type.

My husband also acknowledged that for people who are learning the Babywise technique through workshops, perhaps some concern could/should be laid at the feet of the instructors. Who knows.

There are lots of people who will acknowledge that Babywise HAS worked for them....but I guess concerns outweigh successes. Something is up if this guy's publisher drops him out of fear of liability.

I have taken the advice of looking into 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer' and it looks like it isn't nearly as stringent as Babywise COULD be, but still advocates 'schedules.' One thing I noticed in the reviews for 'Baby Whisperer' is that the author was advocating single breast feeding (not alternating), which I understand to be just plain wrong.

I am learning so much! :)

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What do you mean--"single breastfeeding"? At each feeding? Or never nursing on one side?

I've only nursed on one side at a time--good, fatty hindmilk when doing this.

Yes--I know some people who take what they read to heart and follow it as "law". When I did BW--I never knew of anything bad from it. My dd is 6y now and my son is 2.5y. I was never on the internet much--so I knew nothing about Ezzo. Now with my 4th child--I choose not to do it--in fact just the opposite--co-sleep, babywearing, etc. Now at 10 mo old--I sometimes wish I would have gone back and done it. She nurses all night long and has to be touching my warm body. I haven't gotten much sleep in the past year. With the others--it was a necessity for me to sleep at night. I worked nights, had no sitters when I came home, stayed up all day and HAD to sleep that night. I worked like every other night. For my lifestyle--I had to get some sleep.

Since I don't work now--it wasn't as important to get any sleep with my last baby. Plus--I had no choice by to have her in my room. Can't put her in with a spirited 2.5yo!!!

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Didn't Dr. Sears put out a book about sleep patterns for baby?

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Ah, Holly, oh yeah, about the breastfeeding...sorry I was screwed up. Here is what one of the critiques said regarding 'Baby Whisperer':

"I also question her suggestion to express milk BEFORE feeding the baby and using this expressed milk for a bottle feed later in the day. The milk expressed at the beginning would be foremilk. This store of milk, without the balancing effect of the later hind milk, would cause gas in poor, unsuspecting infants."

Someone else also said: "My biggest complaint is the chapter on breastfeeding. It was terrible, really! Some of her information is just crazy. For example, she says you must drink SIXTEEN GLASSES of water a day. She also says you must wipe your nipples with a cloth after nursing to prevent bacteria from growing. However, women have glands around their nipples which secrete an antibacterial substance, so this is completely unnecessary. I would recommend anyone skip the entire chapter and read a separate book on breastfeeding. I suggest So That's What They're For by Janet Tamaro, as it is written in a similar tone."

I will take a look at "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep (LA Leche League International Book)" by Dr. Sears and see what's up with that. I've heard nothing but good things about him. If my friend is still bent on 'scheduling' then perhaps I'll suggest 'Baby Whisperer' to her.

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Originally posted by Figaro's Mom

Didn't Dr. Sears put out a book about sleep patterns for baby?

There's a pattern?! :D

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Originally posted by dawngloves

There's a pattern?! :D

Ah no, I have scheduling on the brain :)

I found the Dr. Sears title I was looking for.

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So, I am curious. Anyojne know how Ezzo's kids are? Or does he even have any?

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"I've never posted here before--but I have experience with Babywise---with 2 of my kids. It was a lifesaver for us. Even the NP that I worked with loved it for her kids. I put my babies on a schedule--or "routine". Eat, play, sleep. That's the order. Fed every 3 or so hours. Sometimes 2.5--sometimes 3.5. Not strict. You adjust for growing spurts. Those two babies both slept thru the night by 9 weeks. (10-12 hours). They didn't have FTT, they were in the 75-90% in weight/height. VERY happy babies. Secure.

My reasons for trying Babywise in the first place was not to get my baby to sleep at night, but to get my baby to stop eating every 1-1.5 hours, puking after feedings, and then screaming until the next feeding again. I demand fed her. Within 1 day of this "schedule"(waiting 3 hours to feed her, play, sleep)--she stopped puking and became a very happy baby. Within a couple of days--this schedule was HER schedule and was not forced. Worked so well with her--I used it again with my son. "

I agree that babies do well with a routine, mine put themselves on a routine within the first few weeks. My problem is that there are some parents, my brother in law and sister in law, that are so rigid that they will leave their baby to cry for 2 hours because "it's not time to play or eat." What really p***es me off is that my in laws refuse to feed the baby unless it's been x amount of hours since he's eaten - even if the poor kid is screaming his head off and obviously hungry. But my brother in law (who is fat) will stuff his face all hours of the day. I have been really tempted to ask him if he's waited 3 hours since the last time he's eaten, but I promised my husband that I wouldn't start any arguments....

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YES!! That is the problem with that book. Parents really think that if they don't do it ACTUALLY the way it says--then their baby is not going to be "perfect", and sleeping. I was like that in the beginning. My sister who used it also--told me to relax and just not be so strict. The baby will tell you when they are hungry. We we had growing spurts--I would try to feed sooner then 3 hours and for longer---for a about a day or so. Then we would get back on routine again. Sometimes the baby gets sick and the whole "routine" is out the window--but I never let my baby cry when they were sick and not on schedule!!

It's sad to think that some parents would not listen to their baby's cues for the sake of the "schedule".

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