I was just thinking about how im gonna get my family and friends to understand that i

Camwill, ASN, BSN, MSN, DNP, LPN, APRN, NP · Aug 14, 2012

Im gonna need extra help around the house(spouse) and i need tons of support not to mention i will have less time for friends.... Im really worried my fiance wont put in the extra effort around the house and help with the kids more while i study. i was wondering if anyone had a way to make him realize Nursing school is not gonna be easy and that im gonna need more help than ever. And my friends i dont know if i can make them realize that for the next two years im not gonna be able to spend as much time with them, ANY IDEAS? Thank you

From my experience you can not change people. The only person you can control or change is yourself. So your husband and kids may pick up the slack and they may not. You just need to be okay with whatever the result is. The house isn't going to be spotless while we are in school. Just be okay with it. In my house we do chores three times a day for about 30 minutes. It works for us. On the weekend I clean things I just can't stand. But usually I leave it during school semester. During the break I made a ton of food that is frozen. So everyone can eat. My point is figure out the things that has to be done to you and figure out a plan for that. Then don't let others bother you about it. This will be a short period in your life. It will pass. I do understand your situation though. I have seven kids, a husband, family, and friends that all expect so much from me but this time right here... The next couple of years are for me. Is it selfish..,maybe but they have me for life!!! Completing this program promises a better future for us all! My heart understands your frustration good luck!!!!!

allnurses Guide · Aug 14, 2012

Just focus on keeping the toilet spotless and the kitchen sink cleared and you are good to go.

Also, make it clear to the kids that what you are doing is hard work that will reap great rewards in the end.

It is nothing but good for kids to see their parents work hard and all the sacrifice that goes into achieving a goal.

Your significant other is an adult and his response is out of your control... same with your friends.

My kids had a better understanding and acceptance than did my ex-husband... that was his problem.

You are doing what you can do to improve your standard of living (I am only assuming this) and your fiance stands to reap the rewards along with you, if all goes well.

If he can't step up to the plate and help... then "here's your sign" and you may well have other things to think about.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I did see this scenario play out with myself and others.

Hopefully, he will get it and that would be wonderful and you would be blessed! (No sarcasm!)

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Aug 14, 2012

Well my husband kinda goes back and forth. He does help out but I don't think he always understands but I don't think anyone can really understand what anyone else is going through. I know because Ive been on both sides. My husband finished school the year I started nursing school. I ahd no more help at home, no kelp with the kids, and I had to do his chores around the house. I also was lonely. Even though I knew why he was doing sometimes you can't help but feel frustarted or a little sorry for yourself. Now I need his helpand its a little different but it all works out. WHen he's helping an extra amount I always try to tell him how much I appreciate hima nd his help, which seems to make a big difference too-just those little words. One other thing that always help is ask him to do teh things you need, don't expect him to just read your mind. Now I know this sounds silly and yes I sometimes feel it should just be known what needs to be done but for some reason sometimes they don't but I do know most men do want to make their wives happy they just dont always know how :)

bear14 · Aug 14, 2012

If you ask your husband does he help out? I have let go of a lot of things and accepted the fact its ok to be dirty or to have clutter. But I will get to the point where I cant take it and will do it when I can. I also make my kids clean up and make them do it again if its done half assed. Not sure how old your kids are but if they are old enough to help then make them. Depending on the age you can make it a game for them. As for cooking I have tried to make it easy and make easy dinners for example hamburger helper or even breakfast items.

alovelymother · Aug 14, 2012

My school actually requests that our main support person attend part of the orientation day so that they fully understand what we will go through.

My family sat down and all had a talk about how busy I am going to be and how important that everyone helps out. Maybe that will help you out some. Above all cut yourself some slack and try not to get horribly stressed out.