Critque my cover letter and resume please and thank you

  1. I have been reading some critiques and found most of them usefull. So I'm hoping you guys can give me some feed back and help me out also =)

    Nurse Recruitment:

    As a new registered nurse, I am determined to become a top quality nurse and I believe that working at hospital name will give me the opportunity and skills needed to achieve that goal. With my prior experience in the Heart and Vascular setting, I wish to have my first official RN experience at hospital name

    Although I am a new graduate nurse, I have qualities that set me apart. First of all I am eager and motivated to learning as much as I can and applying the knowledge clinically. Secondly, my ability to function and work well with others as a team would allow me to make a valuable contribution to your institution. I have excellent problem solving and communication skills that will help me contribute to your institution. My experience from caring for a wide variety of clients has helped me gain a small understanding of various cultures. Lastly, being a Christian has taught me to care for every client with the utmost compassion. The way I care for patients is one of the ways I like to share Christ's love with others.

    I believe that I have the skills and personality needed to help achieve hospital namegoals in improving patient's lives and transforming healthcare. Please feel free to contact me at number if I may provide any additional information. Thank you very much for your time and attention.


    Patrick Gallardo


    Name, RN, BSN

    Home Address........................................... .............XXX XXXXXXXX St. XXX XXX , XXXXXXXX
    Cell Phone............................................. .............................................. (XXX) XXX-XXXX


    Patient-centered and quality-driven registered nurse (RN) committed to provide excellent judgment and decision-making skills with the strong desire to make a significant contribution to patient care activities in the Cardiac Telemetry at Glendale Adventist Hospital.


    St. Helena Adventist Hospital St. Helena, CA
    Student Nurse (Preceptorship): Heart and Vascular Unit 144 hours April 2011 - June 2011
    - Performed RN responsibilities under preceptor's supervision assessed, planned, implemented, and documented critical-care nursing services within current nursing and JCAHO standards for patients. Interpreted complex cardiac and hemodynamic monitoring data accurately to improve patient care. Made independent decisions within the scope of practice for a student nurse.
    - Total of 400 hours clinical experience on Medical Surgical Units in Kaiser Vallejo, CA, St. Helena Adventist Hospital in Angwin, CA, St. Helen Adventist Hospital Clearlake and Queen of the Valley Hospital in Napa, CA
    - 90 clinical hours with the Napa Public Health Department as well as 90 management/leadership clinical hours at St. Helena Home Health shadowing with Home Health director of nursing: Patti Rutherford

    - Pacific Union College Angwin, CA
    o Bachelor of Science in Nursing Date of Graduation: June 17, 2012

    - Pacific Union College Angwin, CA
    o Associates Degree in Nursing (A.D.N.) Date of Graduation: June 5, 2011

    - Glendale Adventist Academy Glendale, CA
    o High School Diploma Date Of Graduation: June 6, 2008

    o Active RN# XXXXXX, issue date: July 20, 2011
    o American Heart Association, valid through June 2014

    Trained and skilled in patient assessment and education, medication administration, IV starts, blood transfusion, Foley catheterizations, sterile dressing changes, and computerized and manual charting. Took on added responsibilities: administering medications under preceptor's supervision, 12-lead EKG interpretation, performing lab work, calling in medication renewals, and arranging consultations with specialists and physicians

    Strong organizational & software skills: Microsoft Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, and Word
    - Officer, Nursing Student Association, Pacific Union College

    Work Experience
    Coffee Barista at Pacific Union College
    1 Angwin Ave. Angwin, CA 94508
    - Mastered polite customer services to every customer. Worked well with my coworkers to provide a productive work environment. My shifts would vary from opening, closing, and PM shifts. Stocked merchandise and took inventory. Brewed excellent tasting coffee and helped keep the work area tidy and organized.
  2. Visit pattyboo profile page

    About pattyboo

    Joined: May '11; Posts: 2


  3. by   MrChicagoRN
    It's good to be confident, but don't oversell yourself. You are a new grad. Your description of your skill level comes across strong. Also, you are a nurse; nurses practice nursing, not medicine & a heading of medical skills will be a turn off to some hiring managers. Graduation from HS isn't necessary to list. Finally, attributing skills at relating to others being as being related to a specific faith is dangerous. Some believe that ones personal faith should remain personal at work. A nurse must care for patients of all faiths, or of no faith. Your statement hints of moral superiority.

    "Lastly, being a Christian has taught me to care for every client with the utmost compassion. The way I care for patients is one of the ways I like to share Christ’s love with others," Maybe consider referring to your faith as your way of sharing God's love, if you really want to include a faith statement.
    Last edit by MrChicagoRN on Oct 17, '12
  4. by   lovinlife11
    I would lose the religious affiliation. While I think it is a great statement, it has no business on a cover letter.
  5. by   NurseMoi
    It's a good cover letter and resume.

    If you're applying to a religious affiliated hospital then I would definitely keep the religious affiliated statements in your cover letter. A lot of these organizations are all about faith, healing and sharing God's love, so they want to know that you share those beliefs and that it is important to you.

    Sidenote: I once considered applying to a religious affiliated organization and in the application process they posed questions such as "What interests you about working for a faith based organization? We provide coordinated service of spiritual care to patients, their families, and the hospital staff. Spiritual care is affirmed as an integral part of the team approach to healthcare, therefore, we take pride in ministering to the needs of the whole person - body, mind and spirit. Does this influence your decision to apply for a position within our health system?"

    In your cover letter, instead of saying, "Although I am a new graduate nurse..." I would say "As a new graduate nurse...".

    In your resume, I would actually get rid of the Medical Skills section as a whole, only because you're not really stating any skills that every other New Grad won't possess as well. It's assumed that you should be trained and skilled in patient assessment, education, medication admin, etc.
  6. by   Zazak
    Quote from lovinlife11
    I would lose the religious affiliation. While I think it is a great statement, it has no business on a cover letter.
    I am Agree !!!