Looking for a new job in today's market is quite an adventure, especially if you're an older nurse with a few dings and dents in your employment record. It's sort of like searching for Easter eggs in tall grass: you may very well find a treasure, but there's always the risk of coming up with a fresh handful of lawn fudge.
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As much fun as job-hunting is (said no one ever), I knew I was doomed the very first time I visited the Employment Division's job search website and found only a handful of nursing jobs that I can actually do. Sixteen years of experience under my belt, and it appears that the only things I'm good for anymore are per diem jobs giving flu shots (at $20 per hour and no benefits), and management positions like the one that nearly cost me every last marble I had left to play with.
Um.....no thanks.
So, I've been on a search-and-rescue mission to salvage what may be left of my career while fulfilling the work-search requirements each week. I haven't even received my first benefit check yet, and I've already applied for eight different positions (only one of which I'm actually qualified for) as well as visiting the office twice for classes on interviewing skills and dealing with the hard questions.
Like the dreaded "Describe your weaknesses". YIKES! What am I supposed to say--- "You name it, I've got 'em all"? Well, I do. I'm disorganized, I don't suffer fools gladly, and I'm so anal-retentive about certain things that you couldn't pull a needle out of my butt with a tractor. I'm also apt to question authority and ask "Why?" too often, which doesn't exactly win friends and influence bosses. The name of the game, of course, is to turn those weaknesses into strengths: instead of being a little OCDish, for example, one is expected to play up her/his "keen eye for details".
That said, I must confess that I rather like the way job-hunting is done nowadays. Instead of dragging myself out of bed at oh-dark-thirty and getting dressed up in a suit and heels, I get to conduct my search from home. I mean, nobody hires off the street anymore. And frankly, there's nothing more comfy than sitting in front of my home computer in my jammies, with a steaming cuppa joe on the desk and the cat 'assisting' me with uh8emxlahg9szha2ngienynb (AKA typing my resume).
So this morning I've been really productive, which is why I feel I'm entitled to a break so I can write about something I want to write about. I am no more suited for the three jobs I applied for today than I am to be a sportscaster or an astronaut, but what the heck---I'm looking, aren't I? Today's jobs were so different from each other (not to mention different from anything I've ever done before) that even I had to be amazed at my own audacity in sending in my resume.
One was for a .8 FTE clinic RN position at an urgent care center only two miles from my house; the pay is lousy and there are rotating weekends, but it's a perfect 32 hours a week, and I'd save a ton of money by not having to commute. I've never worked in a clinic in my life and don't know if I could handle the pace (especially during cold and flu season), but it sure looks good on my work-search record.
Another was for a hospital discharge planner. I've always thought I'd like to do that, because I've worked with some awesome ones; luckily the not-so-awesome ones whom I've wanted to strangle usually don't last long, so the positions come open fairly frequently. Here's one I am totally underqualified for: they 'prefer' a BSN with a background in discharge planning or utilization review who knows how to access resources and deal with Medicare/Medicaid and health insurance. I'm an ADN with absolutely none of that type of experience, and the only HMO/PPO I've worked with on a regular basis is Kaiser, an organization which I loathe with every fiber of my being for a myriad of reasons.
Then, there's the adolescent mental health nurse position that I still can't believe I even considered applying for, let alone did it. When I first looked at the posting, I thought "ugh, teenagers with psych issues---wait a minute, don't they ALL have psych issues?" Well, two of mine certainly did---one was a cutter with severe depression, and the other was an Asperger's kid who went on to develop bipolar disorder in his teens. But as I thought over the mental health experience I've gotten over the years---not only in dealing with my own problems and those of my children, but with patients who had multiple psychiatric illnesses as well as some rather bizarre behaviors---I realized that I just might be good at this. Who knows?
Now here I still sit, cold coffee in the mug and the kitten wrapped around the back of my neck, fast asleep after his keyboarding lesson....and I feel oddly hopeful for the first time in weeks. Maybe I'm done grieving for the loss of my old job and beginning to move forward into the next phase of my working life; maybe it's a false hope that's mercifully keeping the fear at bay until I can truly grasp the magnitude of the changes necessary for me to remain relevant. But whatever the reason, I think I'm a little less at the mercy of that fear, and have taken the first steps in regaining some control over my life.
I may not know where I'm going yet.....but at least it's not where I've been.
